Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
Let Us Now Ban 10 Things
Tell me what you would like to ban, and I will tell you who you are. It occurred to me that a book of the ten things that a hundred intellectuals would like to ban would be very revealing. — Theodore Dalrymple
I’m uncertain if I qualify as an intellectual, but since Dalrymple has tossed down a gauntlet that few people will pick up, I’ll propose some bans. For the record, if I were suddenly made Philosopher-King of the world, I wouldn’t ban these things. Neither would I vote to ban them, should some deranged polity vote me in as their representative. These are less public policy proposals than pure personal dislike. Please, jump in with the same spirit.
1) Reality TV. I realize that it’s popular to watch people strip-mine their own lives, but it tends to bring out the worst in the stars and their fans.
2) Twitter. It can indeed do some good in breaking news, but more people use it to organize angry mobs. It generates more heat than light.
3) Cliche-ridden prose. Whenever someone says they want government out of the bedroom, ask if it’s okay for a man to beat a woman, provided it’s in a bedroom. Say what you actually mean, not what approximates what you sort of think you mean.
4) Satirical Websites that try to pass for real news. There’s way too much craziness in the world without people getting riled-up over jokes. The human capacity for outrage is limited, and every drop of anger wasted on a fake news story is a drop that can’t be channeled towards a legitimate outrage.
5) Vodka. If you’re going to get drunk, then you need to taste something. Besides, vodka is commie juice and we beat them. Go bourbon.
6) Drive-thru fast food. I totally get being too lazy to cook. But at least get out of the car. Park it, and then walk ten yards to get your supersized McHeartattack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJye229QbVs
7) Crummy RSS feeds. I’m a fan of my Really Simple Syndication reader: I can keep up with everything authors write. But some websites (*cough*) National Review and Patheos (*cough*) tweak their feeds so you need to click through to the site to read the whole article. I’m still subscribe to NR Digital, but if you’re going to jerk around someone who wants to read everything you write, then I ain’t donating.
8) Economists. I’m pretty sure that economics is roughly on par with astrology: they both use math, and they both claim to predict the future, but it’s mostly all guesswork. Left-of-center economists were glaringly wrong when they predicted that the Obama stimulus would drop unemployment down to normal levels quickly. Right-of-center economists were glaringly wrong when they predicted that the aforementioned stimulus would cause mass inflation. It’s all hogwash. Microeconomics might be a science, but macroeconomics is theology.
9) The Oscars. They’re too skewed to the present. We shouldn’t give a movie an award till it’s at least ten years old.
10) Listicles. They encourage bad writing. A good article ought to be carefully crafted, with a beginning, middle, and end. Listicles ruin it. They’re easy on the reader and too easy on the writer.
Okay, Ricochetti, what would you ban?
Published in General
Asking for help on this is akin to asking for a “Ban-Aid?”
Graduation ceremonies for Kindergartners, 5th graders, 8th graders…(and yes anything over an hour– my daughter’s 8th grade “graduation” was over 3 hours…..
OH– Self-esteem awards!
Project based learning
Team building
Birthday parties for kids that require more than cake and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey
malls
stores in malls that are dark with loud music and smell of cheap cologne
Anything called a martini, that isn’t.
girls wearing shoes they can’t walk in
driving below 80mph in the carpool lane
people driving cars large cars they can’t park
I love this turn of phrase, and I’m going to steal it.
Hallelujah.
Mike,
Well done. I am glad some humor made it to the Main Feed. I enjoy the mix that is Ricochet. May the list go on.
1. Cell phones, especially smart phones, for kids (ie less than driving age)
2. Corporate speak. It makes me want to actualize my forward inertia to come full-circle and partner within my own silo.
3. I’ll second Kate’s banning of racism talk-not helpful
4. Travel sports for kids (to be replaced with pick-up games in the park)
5. Citizenship without contributing something, even if it’s 5% of $0.
6. Cable TV: bring back 4 channels for everyone.
7. Yoga pants: growing old is hard enough
8. Disposable electronics: printers, phones, etc set to expire/break in 6-24 months
9. People who see Israel as a bigger problem than Iran (still shaking head after lunch conversation yesterday)
10. Congress delegating authority to Executive, bureaucracy, etc
Yes, thanks for moving the post. It’s now a Marching Ban
Do you mean roll on?
I wonder about #7. The Ricochet site, along with The Daily Caller, play very badly on my computer, often not responding, needing recovering etc. Is that because of tweaks of the feed? Just curious. Some days I can hardly keep these sites open long enough to read.
My youngest, Christian, graduated from college this year. We have dutifully endured 5 high school graduations and 4 college graduations so far (fortunately our parental deal is that we do not sit through graduations for higher degrees!) not to mention assorted pre-school, elementary and middle school graduations. Christian was adamant that he did not want to attend his college graduation. We did not protest. But we did take him to dinner–the only part I ever liked about graduation.
I am so sorry. My query is obviously not in the spirit of the comments. Can I undo the tweaks?
Okay, I can make an exception to my no banning philosophy for kale.
Anybody else enjoy the Gilbert and Sullivan song from the Mikado, I’ve Got A Little List? Here’s a parody. If I felt a little more energtic today I’d write my own….
HIT LIST
Jeremy Nicholas (1985)
If anybody asks me what annoys me nowadays
I’ve made a little list – I’ve made a little list
In the form of an affectionately-written paraphrase
Of a certain lyricist – I’m sure you’ve got the gist.
There’s the teenage motorcyclist who will never pass his test
With a bike that sounds like Concorde and who thinks that we’re impressed,
Those people with their music centres blaring on the train
Who’ll smash you face in if you have the courage to complain,
The platitudes of politician and trade unionist,
They’d none of them be missed – they’d none of them be missed.
CHORUS: I’ve got ‘em on the list, I’ve got ‘em on the list
And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed.
There’s the pseudo-intellectual who shows off with quotes and facts –
He simply can’t resist. I’ve got him on the list.
And the man to whom twice yearly I am forced to pay my tax –
I know that I’d be missed if I wasn’t on his list!
There’s the chap that never listens who’s the dinner-party bore
And the feminist who doesn’t thank you when you hold the door,
The idiots on motorways who drive ten feet behind
And are either suicidal, drunk or absolutely blind
With silly stickers on the rear – the manic motorist –
I don’t think he’d be missed. I know he’d not be missed.
CHORUS: Yes I’ve got him on the list, I’ve got him on the list
And I don’t think he’d be missed. I’m sure he’d not be missed.
Those people who to concerts go to cough and clear the throat –
Though I’m a pacifist, I’d like to use my fist!
And experimental music that requires a programme note –
There’s another on my list: the modern symphonist.
All discotheques, computer games and people who jump queues,
And the chap who does The Times crossword and answers all the clues.
All those who moan about a programme but don’t switch it off,
And the Royal snoopers – bottom of the journalistic trough,
And finally the writer who’s a downright plagiarist.
They’d none of ‘em be missed, they’d none of ‘em be missed.
CHORUS: There are Sullivan and Gilbert – but they aren’t on my list
For without them I am certain that this song would not exist!
Get the language and the gender right, Casey.
“Banned Books Week” (month, quarter, year: it seems this shows up in my Facebook feed quite a lot). Nobody has banned those books, people.
Autoplay Internet ads.
I must demur on a certain trendy vegetable. I like it and it has opened the door to “greens” for me. Save the kale!
Well done Merina!
Troy: 10. That weird limbo when you’re not sure whether you’re still on hold or whether the call has been dropped.
Banning limbo. How low can you go?
Except this:
What do we mean by banning?
If we ban it does it go away? Or ban it like in real life where it still happens anyway?
Lion is a lovely scent.
I think the rules of this game are that the ban is supposed to actually be successful. It’s the fantasy element that makes this fun and illuminating.
1 – Internet rage mobs. “WE FOUND A WITCH BURN HER” conveniently fits into twitter’s character limits.
2 – Driving while stupid. Far, far worse than DWI
3 – Tween culture. Excessively sexual, incredibly annoying.
4 – Adolescence, especially Junior High. Butterflies have the right idea – stuff them in a cocoon and have the adult pop out later.
5 – Smug Wealthy Liberals. I don’t mind the bleeding-heart types – I think we were all there, at least in grade school. The people who lecture me on consumption from their private jet can take a long walk off a short pier.
6 – Defining yourself by one minor characteristic. If the most important thing about you is who you sleep with or what color your skin is, you obviously are a pretty boring person.
7 – Antisemitic conspiracy theories. No, it is not the JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS. Shut up and get lost.
8 – Petty Totalitarians. Yes, you are the subadministrator for licensing. The does not mean you should use your power to make people miserable.
9 – Making Everything Political. I watch/play this stuff to get away from politics, not to get a lesson in liberalism from a failed pundit.
10 – Non-documentary reality TV. Unscripted documentaries are cool. Watching dysfunctional people stumble around life shifts rapidly from comedy to tragedy.
Then guns, smoking, tattoos, motorcycles, other people on my elevator, generic cookies, cheap shoelaces, small talk, eating on airplanes, and putting down the coffee you’re drinking because it isn’t as good as that cup you had in Europe 15 years ago.
That’s just library propaganda.
Live performances of the national anthem at U.S. sports events.
You didn’t ask for a listagraph, but here are my three reasons. (3) I love our country; 2) I love our national anthem; 1) I am a danger to myself and others when I hear the first note of the anthem being “sung”, and instinctively let out an alarming scream, cover both ears, and dive for the remote.
One more – I’d ban “What do you do?”
Because you don’t like have to defend being a shiftless layabout? Seriously man……..embrace it!
I have a job. I can tell you about that job whether I have it or not. Why are you so interested in my telling you about it?
Ask me about something interesting. Or better yet obey the small talk ban.
Ahh this is all about establishing your bonafides oh your are an IT guy? Well I’m a teacher (subtext:that a much more noble occupation).