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The Top 10 Things Your Janitor Wishes You Knew
In the jobs thread, Claire thought that, because I’m a janitor, I might have some sage advice to give folks. Now, my job is a bit atypical, since I work at a university, but I’ll try to make all of these apply more-or-less universally.
- Make sure your toilet flushes completely. I wanted to say “flush the [redacted] toilet,” but that’s not really enough. There are several reasons why a toilet might not get flushed, intentionally or otherwise, but the end result is gross regardless.Sometimes the automatic flusher doesn’t do its job. In that case, there’s almost always a button you can press that will take care of it. Sometimes you pull the handle, but it doesn’t fully work; in these cases you can generally futz with it and get it to work. It might require holding the handle until the job is done, or you might need to pull up instead of down.Some folks are raised with the idea of, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow.” That’s all fine and dandy in your house, where it’s just you and maybe a small group, with a toilet with at least a gallon of water. Doesn’t work so well in a building with dozens of folks, nor with urinals. Add several hours of festering, and only the strongest of air fresheners will be able to cover up the smell even slightly.
Sometimes you think you leave too big of a mess, and are concerned about flooding. Usually this isn’t a problem, as modern commercial toilets are rather powerful for that very reason, even if they don’t use very much water. However, there might still be a problem; most of the time, a toilet won’t overflow on just one flush. Don’t re-flush until the water is back down to its normal level (which might take some time). And if you don’t want to personally tell someone of the problem, at least leave an “out of order” note on the door, and a note to whoever is in charge of that stuff that the toilet is clogged (you don’t have to say it’s you that did it).
- If there is something that could be read on or near your desk, it very well might be. Notes, books, emails, memos, documents, whatever — if it’s out, it’s free game. Custodial work can be pretty boring. Even an office memo could stave off the boredom for a time. If there’s anything that you don’t want read, make sure it’s secured.
- Bobby pins are Satan’s tools. Anything that has a low surface-area-to-mass ratio is difficult for vacuums to pick up. Also, anything that can get hooked in a carpet will. This makes staples, metal shavings and chips, and small sticks (like pine needles) hard to deal with, and will interrupt your janitor’s vacuuming. However, bobby pins are the worst. They are not only hard to deal with in the first place, but they are also hard to see. However, they are light enough to eventually get sucked up, where they will almost always get stuck in the piping somewhere and clog the vacuum. Smaller sewing needles have a similar problem, though they are meant to be easy to see, unlike most bobby pins.
- Put waste in the proper place. Trash goes in trash cans. Recycle stuff goes in the proper recycle can. Feminine hygiene products go in the little bags. Toilet paper goes in the toilet. Not around them. Not behind them. IN them (especially that last one).
- Don’t put trash in cans without bags. Trash cans are a pain to clean, and can smell even after. Trash bags, on the other hand, are easy to take care of. Same goes with broken bags, or bags not properly placed.
- Secure your valuables. Not just talking about theft, though janitors can come from … less honorable populations. It’s just that janitors can become complacent, as people do. And it’s been my observation that they can be less observant or thoughtful than you might like. In the routine, they might not catch that the important document you need to scan in before tomorrow’s meeting — but you just weren’t able to do today — isn’t just another piece of garbage, especially if it fell off your desk. You don’t want to be this guy.
- Report anything unusual. Like I said, custodians can get into a complacent routine. They might not catch something that falls outside that. If you notice something that isn’t right — might be something minor, like your trash not being taken out like it should, or something more major, like a leak or a big clog — you should report it to whoever takes care of that stuff. Makes it much more likely that the problem will be fixed.
- If you have a nice chair, it will be sat in. If you have an unusually nice chair, the janitor will probably want to check it out. They might bring their crew to also try it. They might even take a break in that chair.
- Be courteous. A worker doesn’t become your servant just because they are picking up your messes. They are free people, and they are free to do things you might not like. And many janitors didn’t get the job by making the best decisions in life. Just sayin’.
- Don’t puke in trash cans and not take care of it yourself. It’s just gross. Add in that it will probably be a while before anyone comes to take care of the trash, and it’s even more gross. There are some things that come with the territory of cleaning up people’s messes — but that shouldn’t be one of them.
I lived in a frat for a while in college. For parties, we would designate one of the restrooms for female use. It was a vile job to clean after a party. We tried putting tables in the shower to keep people out. It didn’t work. A few tables were ruined. Some poor slob would have to use an aluminum scoop shovel to scoop up afterwards.
1) Women’s bathrooms…blech. I find too many women are not considerate of others.
2) Speaking of consideration, I once taught at an elementary school on the south side of Chicago. Middle schoolers–just about what Claire described. One day the cleaning lady was in the bathroom while the girls were messing around. One thing she said has stayed with me and has become a pet peeve…she said that it was not nice for the girls to flush the toilet with their foot, because she, or someone else, had to touch that handle in order to clean it. I think of that every time I see scuff marks on the wall behind the flush valve.
3) My favorite bathroom sign as seen in a midtown Manhattan office building years ago (only works if you speak New York-ese):
The order is not tall
Let’s all answer to the call
Keep your paper off the floor
That will make a clean bathroom, for sure.
*I also worked as a janitor for a while in college, and would add another rule: if a bathroom is closed for cleaning, please respect that closure!*
Oh boy, the number of times I had people walk in and ask if the sign was serious…
Overflowing isn’t usually the problem; the issue tends to happen when the bag becomes detached for whatever reason, but people just toss the garbage in regardless.
Nah. This is Mormon Central, so I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon.
My community twice a year has a little “country festival” and the organizers beg residents to volunteer for various jobs. Never again will I offer to keep the women’s rest room in order. My chief complaint: the women used strips of toilet paper to cover the seats before use, then tried to flush it all down. I was continually having to unclog the toilets by hand. Thank goodness there were plenty of gloves. Ten hours of this and I began to take a dim view of the female half of the human race… I wrote the organizers a long memo detailing problems and likely solutions. My only “consolation” was learning from the regular (non-festival) janitoress that the men’s bathroom was just as unspeakably bad — I spare you the details. I remember one little girl of about 8 who sat in a stall for at least half and hour while a long line of ladies were dancing foot to foot waiting to enter. Gevalt. For this nightmare job I received a tie-die t-shirt which I cannot bear to put on.
Any thoughts on the merits of various restroom technologies?
Paper towels vs. blower? Automatic faucets?
I can’t stand the hand blowers, especially if they have a sign that says how much waste they save to help the environment. That’s exactly what I need: damp hands and sanctimony.
I do like the automatic paper towel dispenser, since I don’t have to touch anything. Except when it’s broken. That’s a big pain.
The automatic faucets seem to not function regularly. And why is the water so often luke warm? Don’t you need hot water to really clean your hands?
I’ve been wondering these things for a while…and now finally have a place to ask!
Excellent thread.
Among other things, I am grateful to Pelicano for “damp hands and sanctimony,” which is now the new phrase to be auto-loaded in the brain when washing hands in a ladies’ room. Finally there is something to displace, or at least alternate with, Jackie Gleason’s routine complaining about “leechee nut soap.” Thanks.
In terms of hand drying: automatic hand blowers (especially the somewhat older, very reliable kind). Paper towels (+/- water) are an invitation for kids to make the janitor’s life a living [expletive]. The automatic/semi-automatic dispensers may limit the ease of removing reams of paper towels, but at the expense of constant user complaints about not the dispenser being “broken” (which usually means the user can’t figure it out).
Faucets: I tended to prefer the timed ones (i.e, each push gives you 5 seconds of water). In my experience, these types of faucet actually result in more overall spilled water – because you are constantly moving a dripping wet hand back to the faucet to get more water – but pose less of a threat of causing a meltdown and resulting in an unexpected extra hours’ worth of work.
I agree, but that’s still largely in one’s control. For example, overflowing trashcans is in itself a driver for bag detachment (when bags get compacted, the opening is driven below the lip). The other two main drivers are ill-fitting bags — too small, usually — or poorly-secured bags.
The things they teach people at Hamburger University.