Notes on French Medicine, with a Red Army Choir Bonus

 

As some of you know, I’ve been complaining ceaselessly for the past couple of days that I’ve picked up a stomach flu. I’ve seen a French doctor. I’ve been assured there’s nothing wrong with me that a few days of rest won’t fix. Nothing to worry about.

Now, it takes a lot to get me to see a doctor in France. If I report having seen one, you know I’m not just malingering. This isn’t because there’s anything wrong with French medical care–French physicians are very competent and well-trained, as far as I can tell. But there’s also no such thing as a French doctor capable of understanding the following words: “I’m not a French citizen. I have a private insurance plan that only covers me in the event of emergencies. You’ve just assured me that this isn’t an emergency. So is there really any good medical reason to order all these tests, given that I’ll have to pay for them myself?”

Do you find that idea impossible to understand? Doesn’t seem too hard to me. But when I say this I’m inevitably met with a blank stare. It’s truly as if this idea–that medical care is not, in fact, free–is too difficult for anyone in France to understand.

This is all the more aggravating when the physician has just checked your vitals and said, “Doesn’t seem like there’s anything to worry about. You’ve got a bug. You’ll be fine.”

So, long story short, I’ve got a bug and I’ll be fine. But I’m still feeling too tired to say anything intelligent about politics. In fact, I can’t really concentrate on the news, and have no idea what’s happening in the world. That said, this came swimming up on my Twitter feed, and I figured it was a must-share. I watched it four times, and it made me laugh more each time.

Is this as hilarious as I think it is, or is my delight with it a sign that I’ve gone a bit loopy from the medication? (Not exactly sure what I was given, but it works. I’m guessing it’s some kind of synthetic opiate, and it either crosses the blood-brain barrier or the placebo effect is even stronger than I realized.)

If only the Russians weren’t insane. It’s just so hard to dislike them.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Claire Berlinski:

    Arahant:

    I don’t think that it’s really that they don’t understand. I think it’s that they don’t know the real answer. They do not deal with the billing. They have no idea how much things cost.

    That’s wholly possible. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with just saying that, though.

    Bite your tongue, Claire! A godlike being, such as a physician, admitting ignorance? It only happens in those who have first been deprogrammed.

    • #61
  2. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Arahant:

    Claire Berlinski:I don’t think it’s hugely controversial to say that being sick is bad for people. Do you?

    Yes, it is. Ever hear of stress wood in trees? Having the immune system challenged occasionally keeps it in tune. It can also keep it from going paranoid and attacking the body.

    Yes and no–I’m aware of the plausible hypothesis that kids who grow up in excessively hygienic environments tend to be allergy-prone, and so forth. But I don’t know of any research indicating that regular exposure to infection in adults is correlated with longer life expectancy or anything like that, do you?

    • #62
  3. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Arahant:

    Bite your tongue, Claire! A godlike being, such as a physician, admitting ignorance? It only happens in those who have first been deprogrammed.

    Yes. I mean no offence to the physicians among us, but I do find that something about medical training–or the personality of those who choose medicine as a career– inclines many doctors to an extreme unwillingness to admit that they’re unsure about something. This is particularly true in France, in my experience.

    That said, the guy I saw had an attitude problem. To the point that I finally interrupted him and said, “Docteur X, I must ask you to address me as Docteur Berlinski.” I never, ever do that, but I figured it might get him to stop talking to me like a child. Sad thing is that it worked.

    • #63
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Claire Berlinski:

    Arahant:

    Claire Berlinski:I don’t think it’s hugely controversial to say that being sick is bad for people. Do you?

    Yes, it is. Ever hear of stress wood in trees? Having the immune system challenged occasionally keeps it in tune. It can also keep it from going paranoid and attacking the body.

    Yes and no–I’m aware of the plausible hypothesis that kids who grow up in excessively hygienic environments tend to be allergy-prone, and so forth. But I don’t know of any research indicating that regular exposure to infection in adults is correlated with longer life expectancy or anything like that, do you?

    There are no direct and unequivocal studies or surveys that I am aware of. Certainly the immune system is shaped by the environment.

    • #64
  5. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Claire Berlinski:

    Arahant:

    Claire Berlinski:I don’t think it’s hugely controversial to say that being sick is bad for people. Do you?

    Yes, it is. Ever hear of stress wood in trees? Having the immune system challenged occasionally keeps it in tune. It can also keep it from going paranoid and attacking the body.

    Yes and no–I’m aware of the plausible hypothesis that kids who grow up in excessively hygienic environments tend to be allergy-prone, and so forth. But I don’t know of any research indicating that regular exposure to infection in adults is correlated with longer life expectancy or anything like that, do you?

    There is also the plausible hypothesis that people who pay for lab tests and consultations they don’t want in order to protect their physician from malpractice lawsuits end up poorer than people who do not.

    • #65
  6. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Basil Fawlty:

    There is also the plausible hypothesis that people who pay for lab tests and consultations they don’t want in order to protect their physician from malpractice lawsuits end up poorer than people who do not.

    Indeed. Mind you, I’ll feel mighty embarrassed if in the coming days I croak of an illness that a host of elaborate analyses of all of my bodily fluids would have otherwise discerned. So perhaps I shouldn’t–yet–tempt fate by laughing at the absurdity of the further interventions suggested to me. If I’m still around next week, we can laugh.

    • #66
  7. Ball Diamond Ball Member
    Ball Diamond Ball
    @BallDiamondBall

    This (several comments) is where the government can shine — in an advisory role. The CDC should identify /particularly/ nasty bugs, and keep us up to date. Like the weather, pathogens are things against which reasonable steps may be taken, but not more. Ebola? Lock em up. Pig flu 42? Warn employers and the public alike to minimize exposure. The common cold? Well, we don’t evacuate low-lying areas just because its raining hard. We evacuate when it rises to the level of an imminent emergency.
    Your right not to be deliberately infected does not extend to shutting down my economy. People who have specific vulnerabilities will adapt in different ways. That may take exceptional forbearance, but an exception it is.

    • #67
  8. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Ball Diamond Ball: The common cold? Well, we don’t evacuate low-lying areas just because its raining hard.We evacuate when it rises to the level of an imminent emergency. Your right not to be deliberately infected does not extend to shutting down my economy.People who have specificvulnerabilities will adapt in different ways. That may take exceptional forbearance, but an exception it is.

    While it won’t ever happen, I do find it interesting to wonder if we could, indeed, wipe out the common cold with a rigorous quarantine regime. I wonder if that’s even theoretically possible, or if there are so many strains of cold virus that it couldn’t be done under any circumstances, no matter how totalitarian?

    • #68
  9. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Claire Berlinski:

    Basil Fawlty:

    There is also the plausible hypothesis that people who pay for lab tests and consultations they don’t want in order to protect their physician from malpractice lawsuits end up poorer than people who do not.

    Indeed. Mind you, I’ll feel mighty embarrassed if in the coming days I croak of an illness that a host of elaborate analyses of all of my bodily fluids would have otherwise discerned. So perhaps I shouldn’t–yet–tempt fate by laughing at the absurdity of the further interventions suggested to me. If I’m still around next week, we can laugh.

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me.  I’m not a doctor.  It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    • #69
  10. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Basil Fawlty:

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me. I’m not a doctor. It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    As my fellow editors know, yesterday I was feeling so self-pitying that I was on the verge of diagnosing myself with Ebola …

    • #70
  11. Ball Diamond Ball Member
    Ball Diamond Ball
    @BallDiamondBall

    While we banter, I do hope you feel better soon!
    Sounds like today is better than yesterday, yes?

    • #71
  12. captainpower Inactive
    captainpower
    @captainpower

    Claire Berlinski:

    Basil Fawlty:

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me. I’m not a doctor. It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    As my fellow editors know, yesterday I was feeling so self-pitying that I was on the verge of diagnosing myself with Ebola …

    Please quarantine yourself far away from California.

    • #72
  13. user_554634 Member
    user_554634
    @MikeRapkoch

    Claire Berlinski:

    Basil Fawlty:

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me. I’m not a doctor. It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    As my fellow editors know, yesterday I was feeling so self-pitying that I was on the verge of diagnosing myself with Ebola …

    Here’s the cure:

    • #73
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Claire Berlinski:

    Basil Fawlty:

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me. I’m not a doctor. It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    As my fellow editors know, yesterday I was feeling so self-pitying that I was on the verge of diagnosing myself with Ebola …

    I have never heard of a diagnostic test that used Ebola to diagnose the flu.

    • #74
  15. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Ball Diamond Ball:While we banter, I do hope you feel better soon! Sounds like today is better than yesterday, yes?

    Much. Seems like it really is just a stomach bug.

    And thank you.

    • #75
  16. Ricochet Member
    Ricochet
    @EustaceCScrubb

    Japanese masks

    • #76
  17. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Mike Rapkoch:

    Here’s the cure:

    Oh, thanks. Like I’ll ever be able to get that out of my head, now. That’s probably worse than Ebola–having “put de lime in de coconut” repeating over and over in your brain for the rest of your life.

    • #77
  18. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Claire,

    If you want to drive that out of your brain, you could listen to the music on this thread. Or, you could avoid the screaming by trying the music on this thread.

    • #78
  19. Carey J. Inactive
    Carey J.
    @CareyJ

    Claire Berlinski:

    Arahant:

    I don’t think that it’s really that they don’t understand. I think it’s that they don’t know the real answer. They do not deal with the billing. They have no idea how much things cost.

    That’s wholly possible. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with just saying that, though.

    A French doctor admitting there is something he doesn’t know? When was the last time that happened? The Merovingian dynasty?

    • #79
  20. Ricochet Member
    Ricochet
    @FrontSeatCat

    Very sorry to hear you are feeling bad. Get some ginger anything, Ginger chews, tea, honey and ginger cold drink, or candied ginger, and Gatorade to keep from dehydration. Then the Jewish remedy for everything, chicken soup, or just the broth! How can you be laughing with a stomach ailment! That was priceless – I was singing along – then came the Bolshevik chanting – got confused….the Elvis/Cone Heads hair was fun…is this a Putin approved band?

    On to healthcare – welcome to my world……emergency only until Obamacare Health Network reopens in Nov. I’m taking vitamins and crossing fingers and toes. May have to take out a second mortgage to afford in Nov.

    Claire, do you have dual citizenship? You might qualify for both country’s healthcare coverage.  Don’t worry about the political scene now – take care of yourself and those kitties – nothing’s changed…..hackers here….ISIS there…..gender confusion everywhere…..same ol’ stuff…..feel better and God bless!

    • #80
  21. Gödel's Ghost Inactive
    Gödel's Ghost
    @GreatGhostofGodel

    FWIW, the “Leningrad Cowboys” are Finnish.

    Anyway, because fair’s fair:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS5jEbr_bYk

    I used to see these guys every time I went to the Third Street Promenade.

    Oh, this is even better, and some of the stills are on the Promenade, including the poster:

    • #81
  22. Ricochet Member
    Ricochet
    @FrontSeatCat

    Mike Rapkoch:

    Claire Berlinski:

    Basil Fawlty:

    If you croak in the next few days due to my advice, don’t come crying to me. I’m not a doctor. It probably had something to do with loss of your bodily fluids and their purity of essence.

    As my fellow editors know, yesterday I was feeling so self-pitying that I was on the verge of diagnosing myself with Ebola …

    Here’s the cure:

    song made me feel better! Hope it works for Claire!

    • #82
  23. user_554634 Member
    user_554634
    @MikeRapkoch

    Claire Berlinski:

    Mike Rapkoch:

    Here’s the cure:

    Oh, thanks. Like I’ll ever be able to get that out of my head, now. That’s probably worse than Ebola–having “put de lime in de coconut” repeating over and over in your brain for the rest of your life.

    That is why I am as I am. Now listen to that irritating song “Shake It Off,” by Taylor Swift, which my daughter plays constantly. I’m typing this from the loony bin.

    • #83
  24. Claire Berlinski Member
    Claire Berlinski
    @Claire

    Front Seat Cat:Very sorry to hear you are feeling bad. Get some ginger anything, Ginger chews, tea, honey and ginger cold drink, or candied ginger, and Gatorade to keep from dehydration. Then the Jewish remedy for everything, chicken soup, or just the broth! How can you be laughing with a stomach ailment!

    Thank you, thank you. I’m feeling better, actually, but I’m liking all the sympathy so much that I’m wondering if I should admit it.

    Claire, do you have dual citizenship?

    Nope. I’m in principle entitled to it because of my grandfather’s service in the Foreign Legion, but the amount of paperwork it would take to get it is so daunting that just thinking about it makes me unhinged. It would be easier to just spend more on private health insurance, I think. (I’ve so far been reasonably satisfied with the solution I’ve had for a while–an expensive but not entirely unreasonable private plan that covers catastrophic events–so long as I don’t return to the US. It’s for expats only. I pay for doctor’s visits and medication myself. But I’m not sure that will be enough as I get older, so I’m not sure what to do.)

    You might qualify for both country’s healthcare coverage. Don’t worry about the political scene now – take care of yourself and those kitties – nothing’s changed…..hackers here….ISIS there…..gender confusion everywhere…..same ol’ stuff….

    That sounds about right. I always fear that if I take my eyes off the news for so much as an hour, the world will promptly fall apart, but this has not so far proven to be true.

    feel better and God bless!

    Thank you! I’m definitely feeling better.

    • #84
  25. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Ball Diamond Ball:This (several comments) is where the government can shine — in an advisory role.The CDC should identify /particularly/ nasty bugs, and keep us up to date.Like the weather, pathogens are things against which reasonable steps may be taken, but not more.Ebola?Lock em up.Pig flu 42?Warn employers and the public alike to minimize exposure. The common cold?Well, we don’t evacuate low-lying areas just because its raining hard.We evacuate when it rises to the level of an imminent emergency. Your right not to be deliberately infected does not extend to shutting down my economy.People who have specificvulnerabilities will adapt in different ways. That may take exceptional forbearance, but an exception it is.

    Umm, yeah…. MMWR

    • #85
  26. Ricochet Member
    Ricochet
    @FrontSeatCat

    PS  PS – and no Russian tea…not good for journalists – glad to hear you are on the mend! :-)

    • #86
  27. Goddess of Discord Member
    Goddess of Discord
    @GoddessofDiscord

    Claire,
    So hilarious, have no fear. I grew up in Atlanta in the height of Southern rock. This was an anthem when I was in high school. The Russan version? Hilarious, and shocking. Thanks for sharing. I hope you feel better very soon.

    • #87
  28. user_82762 Inactive
    user_82762
    @JamesGawron

    Claire,

    HuH..hey..What?!!!

    Wow I dozed off after Shabbos. Too much cholent again. That stuff will kill me yet.

    Boy I had this really crazy dream. Claire had a stomach virus and my mother was spoon feeding her tea and toast (always works bless that woman) and my father called a few of the honchos at Presby and had them run every test in creation on Claire (he probably was thinking up a NIH grant application at the same time, I hope she stays with the tea and toast). In the middle of all this was the Red Army choir doing really bad Rock & Roll.

    I’m never going to go near cholent again.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #88
  29. Casey Inactive
    Casey
    @Casey

    There isn’t a single thing about that video that isn’t hilarious. Including the camera shots.

    My favorite part was when Devo found the golden ticket.

    • #89
  30. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Claire Berlinski:

    Arahant:Yes, Claire, that is hilariously funny. I laughed from the very start. Love those hairstyles they’re sporting. Also love how they ended it. And yes, I loved the middle, too.

    Okay, then maybe I’m not just feverish.

    I like it.  I’ve watched a lot of Red Army Chorus clips, so am not surprised at anything they’ll do, but this is a little different from others I’ve seen.  I also caught a quick glimpse of some the characters I often see on their New Year’s entertainment shows and elsewhere.

    In some ways the Russians are a lot like us and not like anyone else – big empires with their citizens having a habit of expecting their army and foreign services to throw their weight around. On stage they do tend to go for the gaudy in a way that the French would have the good taste never to do.  I like.

    • #90
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