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Should the Classroom be a Battleground Over Sexual Orientation?
I live relatively close to a community that just made national headlines thanks to a group of high school kids who reportedly decided to protest against gays in response to their high school’s “Day of Silence” — an event that’s supposed to raise awareness about LGBT bullying. I am not at all surprised at the situation, including the actions of both the students and the administration (at least as it was reported in Huffington Post.)
This is an inherently contentious issue — particularly, between liberals promoting the LGBT agenda and social conservatives — but I’m falling back on my previous experience in education. To put it bluntly, this battle is turning teens into pawns in an adult game of chess, and, unfortunately, those kids have no idea what is happening to them. While the liberals claim that they are trying to make schools safer for kids who are different, the bottom line is that they are doing them a disservice. The fact remains that they are trying to force radical change in societal norms and mores – something that we’ve seen before in history, after the abolition of slavery. The difference now is that instead of attempting to force acceptance of people who simply have a different skin color, they are trying to force acceptance of a behavior.
It doesn’t matter that anyone considers this activity a sin. The context here is our schools, the intended audience is immature teens, and the behavior in question is just different. That is more than enough to cause social problems and bullying. Even worse, all of the adults concerned—on both sides of the argument—seem to be ignoring a key fact: While we haven’t reached the point where we can specifically say exactly what causes homosexuality, one thing that the mental health experts agree on is that sexual orientation can be fluid. From Psychiatry.org:
Some people believe that sexual orientation is innate and fixed; however, sexual orientation develops across a person’s lifetime. Individuals maybe become aware at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
While there is general agreement on that concept in the field of modern psychiatry, there are at least a few arguments about when children develop sexual identities. Those arguments mean that even teens in high school may not be considered mature enough to fully understand their own sexual identities. Most experts seem to agree that kids have a clue before puberty, however they may engage in denial or experimentation well beyond their high school years. So, what is this “Day of Silence” really about?
Dr. Susan Berry’s article at Breitbart likened the LGBT movement to a cult — at least in some respects — and she may not be far off. This intense desire to have teens pigeonhole themselves and force everyone to validate everyone else’s lifestyle is dangerous. Negating the opinions of teens that are uncomfortable with the concept of homosexuality results in the “anti-gay” protests seen here in Pennsylvania. While there is nothing invalid about teens thinking that they might be attracted to people of the same gender, wishing to have nothing to do with those kinds of feelings and activities is equally valid. What everyone seems to be forgetting is that these are not adults.
Teens today are arguably far less equipped to deal with adult issues like this in anywhere close to a mature manner than teens of previous decades. Child-rearing in America has changed significantly over the past 30 years, and the end result is a generation of children who expect adults to take care of them well into their 20s or even 30s. We are arguing over whether or not children can walk to a playground alone, while simultaneously getting upset about teens not managing to deal with sexual identity issues in a civil manner! It could be said there’s nothing wrong with the kids; the adults are the ones in need of mental help.
It’s time to stop putting children, including teens, in the middle of this argument. Find a middle ground, and fast. If nothing else, stick with the science that professionals seem to agree on—that human sexuality is developing continuously through a person’s life. Society as a whole doesn’t need to weigh in on who is right or wrong, provided that those involved are consenting adults. (Yes, I know that’s a rough one for many social conservatives.) Most of all, teens need to feel that they can speak freely on sexuality to adults.
Perhaps a return to what liberals might call the dark ages is needed. Instead of schools encouraging teens to be open about sexuality with each other, we need to return to rules that discourage “public displays of affection” and sex talk among students. They’ll still talk and make out, of course, but that behavior doesn’t need to be in the spotlight all the time.
The funny thing is that most of the experts also seem to agree that kids, regardless of age, tend to hide sexual experimentation from adults. Who told the adults pushing all this open sexuality in schools that it was a good idea? It’s time to call those people to task for this, and ask them why they think it’s a good idea to force what had normally been a private part of development into the public eye.
Published in Culture
Then this country will continue on its downward educational spiral. And you didn’t respond to my challenge to parents.
Should govt take responsibility for raising children and teaching them manners as well?
I had one hard and true rule for my kids, and any kid within striking distance: there’s no excuse for bad manners.
When they made fun of their siblings or bullied them it was dealt with severely. I did my share of perp walks to the principal’s office, but it was never because any of my kids were accused of bullying or making fun of anyone. Because they knew there was no excuse.
Weirdly enough, this came up just the other day over lunch at the academy, where my cop-companions and I diverted from our usual lunchtime conversation (gross stuff we’ve seen) onto the way our children differ from us. Two areas of broad consensus: Our children experience less personal violence, and they are much, much more tolerant of differences. “I got into a lot of fist fights when I was a kid,” was a representative comment. “And my son has never been in a fight. Never. Plus, there ‘s this boy at his school who gets on the bus wearing high heels, and nobody misses a beat…in my day, we would have made that kid’s life unbearable.”
These were all male, and all self-described conservatives, but they all thought these were positive developments.
I don’t really understand your point. Without school officials maintaining discipline, schools will become something out of Lord of the Flies. Parents, who are often unable to be on school grounds during the school day, simply can’t fill that role. That doesn’t mean they have no role in socializing their children. Their role is primary. But when they leave their children in the custody of other adults for some period of time for some purpose or other, those other adults have to provide some discipline for the period of time and location they supervise. Are you disagreeing with that?
GTS, I read the article. It’s written from a pro-gay standpoint; this post isn’t, so they aren’t the same. Sure, they’re about the same topic, but on opposite sides. There’s nothing in the HuffPo article that backs the assertions of the OP concerning how malleable or changeable sexual identity is. The vast majority of the medical field says that these identities are usually fixed, and they still don’t know why.
“alleged plight”? Did you go to high school in the US, gts?
“…you need to recognize that most social conservatives would prefer the subject of transgender identity never came up.
You’d never know it from the frenzy of sky-is-falling antigay posts on Ricochet.
The gay rights movement which so many here so enjoy beating up on had a lot to do with that Kate. Safe schools for gay kids was a major focus 20 years ago. Frankly, the message seems to have largely gotten across and I share your colleagues view that the world is better for it.
I’m a Boomer so perhaps I grew up in a different day and age than you or maybe even a different neighborhood.
My teachers had little to deal with in terms of dysfunctional behavior because my friends and I had plenty of after hours influence.
There are a world of problems for kids and it’s far worse if you are one of the different ones. I do have issues with this sudden gender confusion movement but I am happy to see the movement’s youth generally pushing for ‘tolerance’ even if the aggressive leaders demand embracement. How it plays out will be interesting but kid’s attitudes are changing over time. I appreciate sexual modesty but it may be gone forever. The world will change, with or without us.
As far as these sexuality threads go, zzzzzzzzz. I have a follow up kidney infection patient, a chronic depressive, a back pain after MVA, and a doctor with hypertension to address. One is gay. He dresses fabulous.
I’m a (very late) boomer too. I recall there being a lot of discipline in school. Perhaps some teachers can chime in, but it would surprise me if schools could function without it.
I would have thought doctors knew how to manage hypertension, no?
Supported 100% by parents and the culture at large. Many teachers are afraid to criticize now.
Cato, I take care of dozens of doctors. Tough to be your own expert outside of your field, stupid actually and occasionally fatal.
Next week I’m going to see a very depressed young man ( voting age and unquestionably gay) who cannot come out to his parents because of cultural issues. Not an easy thing at all to deal with.
He was beat up outside school years ago but hid it all because he couldn’t face his parents knowing the truth.
The issues dealt with in this silent sit in thing are politicized, and overblown in some areas I’m sure, but they are all to real and painful for many.
This type of behavior is and always has been driven by socio-economic demographics. As history has shown, it’s always the ‘down and out’ (see the truly pathetic, low IQ members of the KKK) who even had the time to go down this road.
I disagree, ET. There are plenty of stories like that from swanky prep schools with students from high net worth families. I don’t doubt that poor kids are worse.
Certainly agree that parental support is necessary. Not sure about how teachers feel. Being middle aged and childless, I don’t have much current contact with them.
Thanks Doc. Tell him “It Gets Better.” It’s cliche, but it’s true. This is still America and he can make a life for himself even if, sadly, his parents don’t come around. And most parents, by the way, do. Not all. But most find they love their children more than their prejudices when forced to choose.
I’m not sure whether you’re referring to the bullies or the parents who can’t accept their children, but you’re wrong in either case. My childhood was decidedly upper middle class, and I faced these things. I know many people who can say the same.
Again, we obviously grew up in different neighborhoods. Bullying, name-calling and violent behavior was never in my realm of experience. I had to read books and posts from Ricochet members to learn about such aberrant behavior.
Even as a young New Yorker and Californian, I managed to successfully disassociate from this type of mess and will continue to do so.
“It Gets Better” is probably the best advice you can give a young person for many sorts of difficulties with peers and parents.
The gay rights movement which so many here so enjoy beating up on had a lot to do with that Kate. Safe schools for gay kids was a major focus 20 years ago. Frankly, the message seems to have largely gotten across and I share your colleagues view that the world is better for it.
That was the conclusion we came to over lunch, too, Cato—and that the “political correctness” we roll our eyes at has had some salutary effects, and we’re thankful.
I’m not sure whether you’re referring to the bullies or the parents who can’t accept their children, but you’re wrong in either case. My childhood was decidedly upper middle class, and I faced these things. I know many people who can say the same.
Yup.
Wasn’t there some story about Mitt Romney forcibly cutting the hair of another kid at boarding school? Or am I misremembering?
Ah yes:
The thorough account in The Post of Romney’s prep days at the prestigious Cranbrook School in Michigan recounts that Romney was a lively and sometimes cruel prankster. He once was so bothered by a student’s non-comformity — read “gay” — that when a student dyed his hair blond and wore it long, Romney led a posse to forcibly hold him down and cut his hair. In other words, they imposed their will on the boy and humiliated him. In interviews several years later, many of Romney’s fellow perpetrators remembered the incident and Romney’s leadership vividly and expressed deep regret and remorse. Romney says he has no recollection of it.http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-insiders/post/romneys-boarding-school-days/2012/05/10/gIQA8efvFU_blog.html
What about nerds?
What about fat people?
What about the little boy with a My Little Pony backpack?
Where is the “National Day of Silence” for them?
This push to define bullying as an LGBT issue is part of the problem.
I went to a large working-class high school a very long time ago.. Nobody, gay or straight, white, black, or brown, rich or poor, got beat up in our school.
Interestingly, I remember a very popular boy who was almost certainly gay. He ran for homecoming queen and probably won but they wouldn’t count his votes.
There was a haircut story about Mitt Romney, and The Post presents it with an anti-gay angle that they don’t seem to support with evidence. Amazing the detail we get on Republican candidates. I see the Washington Post researched Romney’s prep school days quite thoroughly. Apparently Obama had no classmates. Or none that think it wise to remember him.
I hear that. My 8th grade year is what made me so strict with my kids about bullying and teasing. I was the new kid in a class that had been together for years. Short, glasses, curly hair, immigrant parents. It was hell.
Whenever my kids made note of another kid’s nerdyness, awkwardness, whatever, I always said: You know. That’s how I was.
Something just occurred to me; maybe those who have never been on the receiving end don’t get it. I know my husband, (who was one of the perpetrators in my hellish year) was not nearly as strict as I was on such matters.
There is no doubt that all bullying is damaging, and EThompson to the contrary notwithstanding, that it is common to the point of being essentially normal among children and teens. Gay kids, or kids perceived to be gay, long got more than their share however, and until recently that was often aggravated by school administrations who looked the other way when it was anti-gay bullying. Let me add that the fact that other kids are bullied too simply is not a defense to the bullying of gay kids.
See, they take everything from us. Everything!!!
More seriously – that sounds like a great High School, but everybody’s experience wasn’t like that. Certainly a lot of gay people had a different experience growing up.
I wonder how old JoJo is. I can’t begin to imagine that when I was in high school. I graduated in a class of 700 kids, and not one was gay (by which, of course, I mean openly so).
Except that this difference seemed to be okay to victimise – or at least to ignore when it’s being victimised because the implication is that it’s wrong, so…victimising it is justified.
Can you imagine any anti-any other different group day being accepted by the school authorities? An anti-black day, or an anti-Jewish day, or an anti-Downs syndrome day? I don’t see it.
Wrt behaviour rather than intrinsic nature – gay kids aren’t being bullied in school because they’re having gay sex in school. Iow, they aren’t being bullied because of any narrow definition of gay behaviour (sex with members of the same gender), but because of who they’re perceived to be.
Actually—-oddly—I have met one of Obama’s high school classmates. (Oddly, because Hawaii is so far away). Her recollection is that he was nice enough. A college friend of mine was a year behind him at Harvard Law. She also recalled that he was nice enough. So my guess would be that as a boy and young man, Obama was nice enough.
But what do I know? Perhaps Barry, at sixteen, was merely masking a sinister, clawing drive for ultimate power with nice-enoughness and basketball. Maybe the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy has managed to suborn and silence all the bullied, battered victims scrawny young Barry left whimpering in the wake of his high school career?