I know, the field is crowded. But this is it, I think. In Time. Some woman named Sarah Miller has figured out why she doesn’t like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, and she wants to share:

At any given time, many people on the planet are enduring war and famine and violence. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say that in the last few weeks the news been especially awful. Around 2,000 Palestinians and 66 Israelis have died in Gaza since that conflict flared up. In our very own country, a police officer shot an unarmed 18-year-old boy, six times. This morning, Sudanese rebels shot down a U.N. helicopter.

She continues:

And here we are in America dumping ice water on our heads, which, I insist, is more than just harmless fun for a good cause. It is disrespectful to the literally millions of people in the world who are, as I type and you read, in actual physical pain.

Is the assumption here — it must be — that as long as there is someone on the planet, somewhere, who is in actual, physical pain, none of us should ever enjoy anything again? Going to be a long life for you, Sarah.

But that’s not the most annoying part, really. The most annoying part is the implicit view that the rest of the world is all alike, awful and violent and third-world, and no one ever does anything in it but suffer.

Yes, Sarah, that’s all that happens beyond American shores: suffering and dying like beasts, from dawn to dusk, from Amritsar to Caracas; it’s all a vale of tears where no one wakes up to the sound of birdsong, heaps up a plate with juicy meatballs, sings, dances, juggles, flirts, puts the finishing touch on the crossword puzzle, scores a goal, fills her lungs with the smell of the frangipani blossoms, gets a letter of admission from the university of his choice, takes the first drag of a cigarette after a long run, buys a new pair of shoes, enjoys a cool glass of water after making love.

Yes, Sarah, the whole world (except dimwitted and insensitive America) is a homogeneous, starving, suffering, violent, humorless horde, and obviously no one who isn’t American could ever be amused by the sight of people dumping buckets of cold water on each others’ heads because other people aren’t really human; they don’t have real, complex lives with a full range of emotions, including joy, boredom, curiosity, tenderness, and — say — horror at the thought of being stricken with ALS and hope that Americans (and it will be Americans, if it’s anyone) find a cure.  They just (all) suffer mutely, feeling diminished and insulted by the joy of others.

And they can’t take a joke.

Image Credit: Flickr user Anthony Quintano.