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Are You a Breeder?
No, I don’t mean of dogs. I’ve encountered the curious word “breeders” a couple of times in the past week from lefties. As near as I can tell, it’s the way they combine their two most compelling (to them) religious beliefs: gay rights and environmentalism. “Breeders” are those who have the audacity to have a baby, thereby unkindly reminding same-sex couples that they have no such ability and at the same time increasing the surplus population that will consume stuff and destroy the earth. The term and its implications are so distasteful that I suspect it is one that has been used among lefties for a long time, but that they have kept out of their conversation with the larger world for fear it would hurt their cause. After all, there is definitely a misanthropic, Scrooge-like quality to the term. I speculate that now they are feeling confident in their ascendancy and are allowing it to slip out.
Let’s examine the term for a moment. It manages, in one fell swoop, to denigrate the ability to produce children, the people who do it and the children themselves — all with canine or bovine overtones. I have great hope that this will backfire, but who can tell in this upside-down and backwards age?
Has anyone else encountered this word in casual conversation or unfortunate Facebook discussions? I believe it originated in that dreadful and ridiculous 80s novel, A Handmaid’s Tale.
Published in General
In the immortal words of Mark Steyn; “The future will belong to the people who show up for it”.
That’d be a pretty good retort to someone calling you a breeder. “I’d rather be a stallion than a gelding,” but then you might have to explain what a gelding is.
That would be unwise because to do so adopts the dehumanizing term. Always a bad idea. You would be a father or mother not a breeder. Words have meanings , represent ideas, and those have consequences.
Yes–agreed. I think I was joking, but since I wrote this yesterday I can’t remember!!!!!!
I am one of 9, and have 4 of my own. So I am a proud parent. My mother told me a story about a woman who said to her “Is that all you ever do?”, referring to having sex, since there were a tribe of us. My mother’s reply was great. “We don’t have sex more than you, we just make it count.” Within the family we always say that Mom and Dad used the rhythm method, but were a little offbeat.
Aw, shucks. One could really make some hay with this.
“There are those who talk about what others do, but I prefer to be the one actually doing it.”
“No, sometimes we sleep. But not often.”
“Could you recommend a leisure activity that you think is more fun?”
etc.
Stamp collecting?
You’re probably doing it wrong.
Or you might be doing stamp collecting very right.
-E
There are some proclivities you should just not share.
I lived in Portland for 10 years, heard the term from the perpetually disgruntled from time to time usually in reference to the environment and resources nonsense. I usually responded with: should not piss off breeders, they have numbers on their side and they own guns!!
It’s not me. I couldn’t think of a more boring hobby. But I’ve met other people who like to… stamp collect. Like it a lot, judging by the price a rare stamp can fetch. And this got me thinking… Maybe they can’t help it. Maybe their pleasure-centers are just wired differently from yours or mine.
This was written by someone who is clearly a nasty piece of work. Note the word “childfree”. As in, “fat free” or “cruelty free”. Children are a menace to be avoided.
Johnny, the definition also indicates another common attitude of the childless toward parents, which is the idea that they have more control over their children than they really do. The job of childhood is to learn to control emotions and behavior, but it takes a long time. That’s why we cut parents a lot of slack.
Certainly there are parents who don’t do their job and let their little darlings get away with way too much, but I don’t see that too often. I remember my pre-parent days and being too judgmental toward parents, so that too is understandable. Didn’t we all say, “My child will never to THAT!” Lo and behold, whatever it was you said your child would never do, they eventually do, and in a big way. It’s humbling.
So childless people, be exasperated sometimes, but also remember, that you benefit from people who are willing to sacrifice to raise children. It’s a greatly rewarding job, but it’s also a sacrifice. Those children that someone else raised will pay for your social security, be your doctor, and in general provide the services you need throughout your life.
A Wiccan I worked with in the early 90’s had 2 bumper stickers on his car: “Clergy” (with a pentagram), and “Thank you for not breeding”.
If “breeder” means having more than two children, then yes – my wife and I are breeders. However, we also outsourced obtaining our children through procurement (adoption), so now I’m not sure if the term applies . . .
Papa Toad and I have spawned six tadpoles.
We prefer “spawners” to “breeders,” if you don’t mind…
If we could, we’d have more, but a number of health issues, most importantly Lyme disease, which can be passed from the mother to her children, keep us from seeking more.
I don’t understand Tom Meyer’s bafflement that some of us might want more than three children, the number he has decided upon.
My attitude toward children is that their dad is so incredibly awesome, I love making even more of his offspring every opportunity I get. The combinations of the two of us that we have produced are delicious and delightful and the only regret we have is that we are unlikely to have any more.
My arms are not yet empty; I still have a five year old.
Merina, I must also comment that I find the illustration with only two children to be amusing in a post on breeders. Couldn’t the editors or you find one with more than two?
Stad, may your tribe increase!
Mama Toad, for a minute I thought that was a photo of your family, but then I counted heads! I’m sure your family is just as adorable.
Stad, I don’t know if breeder applies, but parent certainly does, and that is what we care about.
It just seems so hateful, and counterproductive.
The mom in the photo is my god-daughter, and the boy on the far right is my god-son. She is a Nordic beauty. I’m not.
Here’s a photo of the Toad clan I uploaded for a Ricodiscussion on wearing hats:
Aw–you do have an adorable family Mama Toad! I’m so sorry you can’t have more Tadpoles! I wish I could replace that little family in the main page photo with your beautiful family. Love the hats! Where is middle Tadpole’s hat?
It really seems to me that in the West (gross generalisation coming up, but fwiw) mainstream society does not really like children. People love their own children, of course, and society puts in place things to keep children safe (with varying degrees of success), but in terms of liking kids enough to be pleased to hang out with them even if they aren’t your own – on the whole no. People really seem to be most pleased with other people’s kids being safe and happy somewhere else – and preferably out of earshot.
I wonder if it isn’t an unintended consequence of modern life setting children and childhood apart – spatially and socially – even if for the best intentions. Is it a coincidence that societies where the line between childhood and adulthood is traditionally less formalised and firm – so with negatives like child labour or underage marriage – are also societies where it is normal to genuinely enjoy children for themselves rather than just (grudgingly) accept them because they’re going to pay tomorrow’s taxes?
I’m not advocating child labour or underage marriage, just wondering which part of the old social package can be kept while weeding out the negatives and how.
Proudly a breeder, with number 5 due to be born in 8 weeks…
BDJ–congratulations! Post a photo when #5 enters the world!
Good points, Zafar. I think you’re right; the West is very adult-centered. You’ve given me some food for thought. I really enjoy children now, but I don’t think I did so much before I had them, though I did enjoy my younger sibs (my youngest brother was born when I was 14.) But since families don’t so much work together on a farm or in a family business any more, children are largely separated from adults aside from parents. There is mixing in church communities but not so much in other ways. Do you think children are more enjoyed and appreciated in India?
I would say that they are, but they can also suffer far more.
Let’s not forget that the compartmentalising of children was largely to protect them – and it mostly succeeds. It didn’t start off as a selfish childless adult urge at all. Frankly we could probably do with some of the benefits of it in India where child labour and underage marriage are real blights.
Wrt ‘adult centred’ – by creating more “child only” space we automatically, if inadvertently, start the process that results in more “adult only” space. So I’d say that the West is more individual-focused (which mostly I appreciate) rather than adult-focused per se. Instead of child-focused I’d say some “other societies” (vague! let’s say like Indian society) are more family or group focused, and children are automatically included in that rather than separated out.
An anecdotal example: if you go to a nice Chinese restaurant in Sydney there are many big tables (for groups) and there are lots of children scattered through the place – they are totally set up for them, they think it’s the norm that people go out to eat in large family groups that include children. You see a lot fewer children in most other restaurants, and parents with young children tell me that they generally feel more welcome (ie not an inconvenience or an imposition) when they take the kids for Chinese.
I guess it’s just one more reminder that, for all that I’m bisexual and I date men, I have nothing in common with the gay left. I come from a culture where having kids is an obligation, and if you can’t, you adopt. Having large families (at least four) is expected.
What’s frightening is that, as the “good guys” in civil rights politics, the left can get away with discriminatory actions other groups cannot. I saw a sign today at a restaurant in San Francisco that said “no barefoot, shirtless, or Republicans.” I told the cashier that was illegal (at least that’s how I understand Californian law). She didn’t care.
I’ve toyed around with getting a custom made bumper sticker that reads: Outbreed Liberalism.
We’re certainly doing our part. Six so far.
That may make you a ‘breeder enabler.’
Some Americans may not enjoy children because of many American children. The unfortunate consequence of parents viewing a child as a perfect flower whose self-esteem may not be impaired no matter the cost to society is that the child is often not very pleasant to be around.
Also, some parents cannot spend that much time with their children, who are segregated strictly based on age in day care, schools, camps for many of their waking hours, and where they are rarely asked to do chores or exhaust themselves in physical labor.