Am I the only Ricochet member outraged that the Republican Party big shots blew $100 million on Jeb Bush? A year ago, I could have told anyone who asked the result of attempting to foist another Bush on an electorate still walloped by the last: Zilch. One hundred million dollars turned into the kind of floating dust that can only be seen when it’s hit by direct sunlight. Are we all so rich that the waste of tens of millions of dollars is no big deal to us? Where is the outrage (I know, I know, a rhetorical question)? I don’t even mean to pick on Bush, who is merely the latest recipient of the party’s foolishly spent, misdirected largesse. I’m not bitter, just outraged.
But whereas the Republican party has lots of money and no imagination, I have the opposite. So indulge me in a thought experiment: A little over a year ago, the Republican party bosses came to me with a briefcase full of money and said “Dex, we recognize your personal beauty, masculine prowess, and superior wisdom. Please take this $100 million and do what you will. We trust it entirely to you. Feel free to take out $99,999,999.00 for your salary. Whatever you do, it’ll be better than what we come up with.”
I was in no mood to haggle, so I thanked them and put the cash in escrow while I drew up the following budget (quietly returning 100% of my salary to the budget).
$40 Million — Endow Republican University
This would be an online university emphasizing Classical Languages, World History, World Culture, Political Thought, and Literature. President: Victor Davis Hanson; Vice President: Bruce Thornton. Salaries competitive but negotiable. Hanson will be the public face of the university, handling fundraising, board of director selections (preferably, from Ricochet members), semester abroad programs and all public relations. Thornton will oversee day-to-day operations, including staffing, budget, and curriculum. A bachelors should be earned in three years, a masters in two. Obligatory semester abroad.
$40M — Republican Party Outreach
One small office rented in the worst part of each city in the western United States, each staffed by one party representative and one administrator. Salaries competitive, but negotiable. The responsibilities of the Republican representative (henceforth, the “RR”) shall include setting up at least one meeting a week with any club or group in the city who will meet with said representative. Possible groups include the local chamber of commerce, senior centers, garden clubs, chess clubs, rock and gem clubs, Knights of Columbus, church groups, local cable talk shows, book clubs, etc.
The RR will also meet with CEOs of local successful manufacturers and businesses to set up scholarships of $1,000 to $5,000 in-state community college or trade schools for worthy high school graduates. Goes without saying that RR will get to know principals and counselors at local high schools as well as managers of local Crispy Crème bakeries and Little Caesar’s pizzerias. The mission statement is wide and flexible, but RR’s main goal is to make friends on behalf of the party the community level. RR’s admin will assist at every level.
$20 Million — ?
What do you think Ricochet members? How would you disburse the remaining $20 million? You’re hired as my temporary pro-bono budget director. Prohibitions: No money to conservative journals, magazines, or think tanks.
Published in Culture, Politics
Rather than spend it successfully keeping our best general election prospect out of the general, putting it in a pile and lighting it on fire sounds like a good alternative. I share your outrage.
How about a real-life Madison Fund? And a backup one for when the everyone involved with the first one gets hit with a RICO prosecution?
Great detail Gross — I had forgotten about the Madison Fund – 20 million – write the check!
It wasn’t the Republican Party’s money to begin with. It was the money of private wealthy donors who are registered to vote as Republicans (more than likely) who mostly set up and co-funded SuperPacs. Could the money have been spent more wisely. Well, sure. I would have spent it differently. But explain to me why I or anyone else should be outraged how someone else spends their own money?
Explain to me why he has to explain that to you.
But don’t you dare ask me to explain why you should have to explain why you think Dex should explain why people should be outraged by the waste of $100 million.
Was it your $100 million? Was it the Republican Party’s $100 million? Was it taxpayers’ $100 million? Should I be outraged how you spend your own money? Would you care to show me what you’ve been spending your money on, so I can determine how much outrage I should have?