Tag: Lindsey Graham

Aw Shucks, A Drone!

Tom Meyer, Common Citizen
Tom Meyer, Common Citizen Inactive
128
 

Senator Lindsey Graham is running for president — or close enough to count — and was among the speakers at the Iowa Republican Party’s Lincoln Dinner this past Saturday (as were Rand Paul, Carly Fiorina, Scott Walker, Rick Perry, and Bobby Jindal). Judging from what I’ve seen of the videos, this was a light-hearted event where the candidates were expected to be self-deprecating and folksy. Graham started his speech as such, but then… well, I’ll let him speak for himself:

I’ve been a lawyer in the military for 33 years. If I don’t get court-martialed, I’m going to retire at the end of the month and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I’ve 6 1/2 years on active duty. I’ve been in the Guard, Reserves, and it’s been a lot of fun. I’ve been a military judge, I’ve been a defense attorney, and I’ve been a prosecutor.

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Lindsey!

Stad
Stad Coolidge
159
 

I cannot stand this idiot.  The only reason he is running for President is to skew the South Carolina primary results so Jeb doesn’t take a big hit.

Listen to me, Mr. Graham.  As a North Carolina import to this state, I was pleased with your performance during the Clinton impeachment proceedings.  However, ever since you’ve been in the Senate, your ego has swollen to the point that John McCain has trouble doing a number two.

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The GOP’s Fight Club

Bill Whalen
Bill Whalen Inactive
77
 

621_356_fight_club1Sometimes, late-night television writers have to scrounge for material. Other times, comedy falls right in their laps. For example: news reports that a 68-year-old Mitt Romney plans to climb into the ring with former boxing champ Evander Holyfield.

It’s part of a May 15 card in Salt Lake City. And before you think Romney’s lost his mind (or suffered damage from too many political campaigns), rest assured that (a) his heart’s in the right place (it’s a fundraising event for Charity Vision, a humanitarian organization founded by retired Salt Lake physician Bill Jackson) and (b) the former GOP nominee hasn’t lost his sense of humor (“It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” he told reporters. “It won’t be much of a fight. We’ll both suit up and get in the ring and spar around a little bit.”).

We’ll see how Romney’s boxing skills measure up with those of another Utah legend: Donny Osmond.

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Run Lindsey, Run!

Stad
Stad Coolidge
78
 

Hey Lindsey – go ahead and run for the nomination.  Heck, you may even win the Presidency because millions of people will vote for you!

But . . . do you want to know why?

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