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You might be woke if: you call a guy a bigot because he doesn’t want to date a “girl” who has a penis.
You might be woke if: you think people are racists because of the color of their skin.
You might be woke if: you think transvestites should host children’s reading events but it’s “cultural appropriation” for a woman to wear hoop earrings.
You might be woke if: you believe the anti-fascists are the mobs of masked weapon-wielding thugs who beat up peaceful protestors because they don’t like what they’re saying.
You might be woke if: your preferred pronouns don’t start with the letters “h” or “s”.
You might be woke if: you have no problem with hundreds of violent progressive riots but think democracy almost ended when some conservatives decided to have one of their own.
You might be woke if: you think boys can have babies.
You might be woke if: you think the prefix “cis” isn’t redundant.
You might be woke if: you think that burning and rioting and looting is “peaceful protest,” but you need time with a coloring book and a therapy pet when your candidate loses an election.
You might be woke if: you’re just sure socialism can work but have never heard of the Gulag Archipelago.
You might be woke if: you’re convinced that ours is a racist country but have no knowledge at all of the demographics of violence in the United States.
You might be woke if: you’re convinced that capitalism is evil but you’ve never held a job and are attending a college that costs more than $60,000 per year.Published in