September 17, 2018

The __________ Of Wal*Mart

Recently, @daviddeeble posted this in the group Funny Political Memes:

I replied that I didn’t like it with the following quote from this outstanding post:

“What these really remind me of are the “people of Walmart” videos. If you didn’t know, these are videos taken surreptitiously of customers at Walmart and other discount stores. Basically, they just exist to make fun of people for being poor, fat, ugly, sick, or badly dressed. They are the modern equivalents of carnival freak shows. (And, no, I’m not going to embed a video. Look it up yourself, you disgusting pig.)”

Then @daviddeeble, @drlorentz, @CarolJoy, @misthiocracy, and I had a nice discussion about the degree to which I am a humorless, elite, snobbish scold.

After that played out, I had an idea:

Wal*Mart Parking Lot Bingo

No License Plate	Spin Rims	Door Different Color Than Car	Bullet Hole	No Hood
Trash Bag Covering Window	Emergency Spare on Wheel	Cracked Windshield	Pit Bull in Truck Bed	Obscene Bumper Sticker
Homemade Wheelchair Rack	Primer Gray Fender	“Obama-Biden 2008“ Bumper Sticker	Red Cellophane on Taillight	Old Guy Smoking in Car
Missing Front Bumper	Expired Temporary Plate	Bullet Hole Decal	Abandoned Vehicle Sticker	Graffiti
“Calvin Pissing” Decal	No Rear Window	Flat Tire	Missing Headlight	Expired Out-Of-State License Plate

So, Ricochetti, what do you think? I want your honest opinion. Here are some suggestions:

You’re a hypocrite, and unoriginal besides.
You are a humorless, elite, snobbish, unfunny scold.
You’re a jerk, leave those poor people alone.
You are just yanking our chains, cut it out.
Huh?

Please let me know in the comments below.

Published in Humor

WalMart

There are 57 comments

Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger
@MattBalzer

10:51 AM EDT · Sep 17, 2018

I mean, besides the part where you copied the “Calvin urinating” decal from the original part, and the question of the differences between a decal and a bumper sticker and whether that qualifies as obscenity, I’d say it’s reasonably accurate. Maybe. I haven’t actually spent enough time in Wal-Mart parking lots looking at license plates to be sure they’re expired and that sort of thing.

Of course, I’m not sure I’d win at the PoWM bingo either.

Although, sometimes things are funny because they’re true, and even the people who are supposedly being mocked can’t help but laugh. For instance:

Language warning, obviously.
- #1

JosePluma
@JosePluma

Post Author

10:57 AM EDT · Sep 17, 2018

Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger (View Comment):
I mean, besides the part where you copied the “Calvin urinating” decal from the original part, and the question of the differences between a decal and a bumper sticker and whether that qualifies as obscenity, I’d say it’s reasonably accurate. Maybe. I haven’t actually spent enough time in Wal-Mart parking lots looking at license plates to be sure they’re expired and that sort of thing.

A bumper sticker is supposed to go on the bumper; a decal usually is on the window. Both can end up elsewhere. As an ex-cop, one of the first things I look at on a car is the license plate.
- #2

Hoyacon
@Hoyacon

11:02 AM EDT · Sep 17, 2018

I grade this Incomplete. It omits “Three Winnebagos, 70s Vintage with Sam’s Club Stickers.”
- #3

JosePluma
@JosePluma

Post Author

11:30 AM EDT · Sep 17, 2018

Hoyacon (View Comment):

I grade this Incomplete. It omits “Three Winnebagos, 70s Vintage with Sam’s Club Stickers.”

Well, this is only one card.
- #4

Richard Fulmer
@RichardFulmer

11:52 AM EDT · Sep 17, 2018

I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, progressives have pretty much cornered the market in sneering at WalMart. And WalMart really is quite serious about what it sees as its mission to bring quality goods at low prices to poor people. As conservatives/libertarians, that mindset requires our respect. On the other hand, what the hell.
- #5

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