Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
The Food and Drug Administration has declared that mixing booze and caffeine is a "public health" concern. For now, the FDA is banning "only" seven brands of this deadly elixir, but any day now they could come for your Irish Coffee.
Granted, most of the drinks on the FDA's list sound repulsive, a sort-of Mountain Dew meets Everclear abomination. But for heaven's sake, you have to be 21 years old to drink -- the Feds saw to that back in 1984. Now they're telling us that a 21-year-old adult can't make up his own mind about the proper ratio of alcohol to booze? Apparently such decisions must now come from the Deputy Assistant Undersecretary of Alert Intoxication: "Rum-and-Coke: acceptable. Four Loko: unacceptable. Red Bull and Vodka: pending interagency review."
The case for this ban appears to be caffeinated booze encourages college students to engage in -- brace yourselves -- binge drinking. Well, well. They must be giving themselves high-fives over at the FDA for having licked that problem. As for me, I sometimes worry about today's undergraduates, but somehow I think that they'll find a way to mix alcohol and caffeine if that is what they are determined to do.
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Comments :
Oct '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Two of my main food groups. There is nothing that can't be banned once the government provides health care, but mixed drinks? Honestly, one can but hope they over-reach themselves, which they seem to be doing.
May '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Up next: No more JD and Coke!
Does the FDA really have time for this?
Sep '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
I don't believe in mixing caffeine and alcohol. A fine scotch or bourbon doesn't deserve to be ruined with with water or caffeine.
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Very true. As my grandfather said when presented with a shandy (beer and lemonade): you've just ruined two perfectly good drinks.
Jul '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Rum and coke.
And the greatest invention since, well, ever...Red Bull and Vodka.
Oct '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Chocolate and red wine.
Sep '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
So I guess my 7&7's are safe.....for now.
And Four Loko is disgusting, for the record.
Jul '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
What about a Tom Collins? Does it depend upon the amount of sugar added? A really tart Tom Collins is legitimate, but if it's too sweet, we have to set up a commission to investigate?
Back in the 90's there was a bar in the basement of Union Station in Washington...was it Fat Tuesday's?...which had a wall of mixers, the kind you see making Slurpees in 7-11. Only in this case they contained various types of rum, triple sec, vodka, etc., etc., etc. I was too prematurely aged to enjoy it; I didn't like sipping on a straw while smoking a pipe. However, about half of all congressional interns and junior staffers were there on Friday nights.
Some of those young staffers must have gotten married, had kids, joined the FDA civil service and--filled with shame at remembering their youthful shenanigans and still pig-ignorant about cocktails--decided to rule on...something. Anything. For everyone else's good.
Now I have to go mix a drink.
Jun '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Irish Coffee is the nectar of the gods! It's the perfect elixir for stimulating creative thought. Why many a night have I been awake 'til wee hours of the morning solving all the world's problems, reciting Shakespeare, or taking a stab at the unified field theory after 3 or 4 Irish Coffees (much to the annoyance of my roommates). Must I start an organization akin to the NRA for Irish Coffee...."You can have my Irish Coffee when you're able to pry it from my...uh, warm...dead hands!"
I once entered the empty bar at a Holiday Inn while traveling the day before St. Pat's Day. Hanging from the ceiling were dozens of signs imploring the clientele to try their Irish Coffee. Since I was tired from a long drive I order right away. The bartender snapped to attention. "Okay!" he said emphatically...but then slowly turned around again and looked at me sheepishly. "Uh...pardon me sir, but what is in an Irish Coffee?" I grinned and gave him the ingredients and portions and he smiled again. Thank St. Patty that I showed up before the onslaught.
Edited on Nov 18, 2010 at 6:50pmJun '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
First they came for my coffee, but I wasn't nervous.
Then they came for my whipping cream, but it was all over the wife (don't ask).
Then they came for my whiskey, but it was all in me (can't remember).
Then finally they came for me, and I had to sober up in a hurry.
Sep '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Cas Balicki: Then finally they came for me, and I had to sober up in a hurry. · Nov 18 at 7:06pm
Uh, with coffee???
While I waited for my refills my ($5 on Tuesday) Growlers at Granite City, I glanced through the drink menu--yep, two drinks featuring mixing Red Bull and (some sort of) alcohol. Guess Granite City'll have to revamp the menus.
Is this new reg going to prevent those who want to mix alcohol and caffeine from doing so? Of course not! Typical mindless gov't meddling.
Btw, the ostensible reason for banning this combo? Consumption of caffeine concurrently with alcohol can mask the effects of the alcohol. Well, so can the concurrent consumption of alcohol with alcohol...
Aug '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
When I make Irish Coffee, which is rare, I make it with decaf coffee. I generally don't want to be up all night.
More directly to the point, anytime we make something a forbidden fruit, it only drives youth deeper into its clutches. Who else drinks those high caffeine drinks but underage college students?
Nov '10
Re: Put down the Irish Coffee and Step Away
Sounds like the FDA may have to federalize all the bouncers out there, make sure they stop the smuggling of any small cans of energy drinks into the bars. I am sure they can get a discount on the training program by hiring the folks that trained the TSA'ers. I am sure there are plenty of bouncers out there that won't mind the added responsibility.