Barkha Herman · August 7, 2012 at 4:53pm

I am hearing more and more momentum to legalize gay marriage. Some Christians and Muslims even support it. The President has evolved and embraced it.  If we are going to redefine marriage, why stop at gay marriage? Why not legalize polyandry?

One of the major justification of the traditional marriage is child rearing. However, with the advent of genetic testing, there is no confusion in parentage of a child any more. Moreover, more and more households are either single parent, or multiple parent (50% of marriages end up in divorce; and most of the people involved re-marry).  It is not uncommon for a child to have a mother, father as well as step mother(s) and step father(s).  I know a kid who has 6 parental units, through multiple marriages and divorces.

So, if gender is not an issue, and "serial marriage" is OK, then why not parallel marriage? Why can't one woman have multiple husbands? There are cultures around the world that have historically had examples of polyandry. Surely, we don't want to be intolerant to these communities? Feminist groups are often against polygamy - because they see it as some sort of abuse of women. But surely they would support polyandry?  

What could be the harm in consenting adults participating in a polyandry marriage? 

What say Ricochet women?  Would you support it?   Why? or Why not?  How about the guys in favor of gay marriage?  Is this going too far or not far enough?  How about you traditionalists?  If you can support divorce, (serial marriages), why not polyandry?

Comments:


Fred Cole
Joined
Nov '11
Fred Cole

I'd expand it to include polygamy and group marriage too.

Barkha Herman
Joined
Jul '11
Barkha Herman
Fred Cole: I'd expand it to include polygamy and group marriage too. · 0 minutes ago

Irrelevant to me, but sure, why not?

DrewInWisconsin
Joined
Aug '11
DrewInWisconsin

But . . . but . . . but I was assured that there was no slippery slope!

DocJay
Joined
Jul '11
DocJay

Absolutely.  I want to fight other men to be in my wife's bed every night.  Think of all that cool time in the weight room and doing MMA training.  I certainly don't want a rotation schedule, that would stink.   But the thrill of out boxing, wrestling or poisoning the other guys would make the wife a just reward as I gaze over the bloody defeated rivals.  Winning!

Barkha Herman
Joined
Jul '11
Barkha Herman
DocJay: Absolutely.  I want to fight other men to be in my wife's bed every night.  Think of all that cool time in the weight room and doing MMA training.  I certainly don't want a rotation schedule, that would stink.   But the thrill of out boxing, wrestling or poisoning the other guys would make the wife a just reward as I gaze over the bloody defeated rivals.  Winning! · 6 minutes ago

We could definitely address the wussification of America.  Think of the role model you would be to all the young ones.. Men would grow up to be men and the girls would expect real men ;-)

Majestyk
Joined
Jul '12
Majestyk

Why don't we bring back dueling at the same time, so when this confusing morass inevitably breaks down there will be a cheap, non-court option for sorting out the mess. An armed society is a polite society!

Barkha Herman
Joined
Jul '11
Barkha Herman

@Majestyk : I have nothing against an armed society.  After all, one armed person would have put an end to the horrible incident that night in Aurora.

DocJay
Joined
Jul '11
DocJay
Majestyk: Why don't we bring back dueling at the same time, so when this confusing morass inevitably breaks down there will be a cheap, non-court option for sorting out the mess. An armed society is a polite society

Where I live I would guess 5% of the men are armed.  Polite too.  

Barkha, all my boys know the riddle of steel from Conan.  

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life? 
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair. 
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? 
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. 
Mongol General: That is good! That is good. 

Fred Cole
Joined
Nov '11
Fred Cole

Polyandry seems like it'd be a great deal for women.

skipsul
Joined
Mar '11
skipsul

DocJay

Majestyk: Why don't we bring back dueling at the same time, so when this confusing morass inevitably breaks down there will be a cheap, non-court option for sorting out the mess. An armed society is a polite society

Where I live I would guess 5% of the men are armed.  Polite too.  

Barkha, all my boys know the riddle of steel from Conan.  

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life? 
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair. 
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? 
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. 
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.  · 0 minutes ago

Why not the Terry Pratchett Version?

Cohen:  Hot water, good dentistry and soft lavatory paper.

skipsul
Joined
Mar '11
skipsul

Speaking of as the father of 4 daughters, and the only son amidst a house of sisters, I'm all for monogamy.  Don't think I could handle much more...

No place in this house is quiet.

Rob Long

I am not going to touch this.

But I'd like to see it on the Main Feed!  I imagine we'd get a lot of members who joined just to participate in this conversation!

skipsul
Joined
Mar '11
skipsul

On a serious note, there are few real cases of polyandry, polgyny (the correct technical term for many wives) is far more common.

The few historical instances of polyandry do not speak well of it as an institution.    See here for instance.

It really all does come down to the children - children in polyandry are not cared for by their fathers, and I don't believe that modern genetic testing will make males involved today feel any better or invest more in child raising.  Non-dominant males in such a setting don't fare well at all.

Polygyny, flat out, treats women as property.  You can set aside all religious arguments, polygyny is only prevalent in societies where women are viewed as commodities.  Where it occurs here (with the ex-mormon splinter groups), it means poverty and degradation.  

Allowing either practice really would be bad news.


Joined
Apr '12
Herbert Woodbery

Does the poverty and degradation come from polygyny or from the fact these families have been ostracized by society?

Barkha Herman
Joined
Jul '11
Barkha Herman

@skipsul :  Not sure that the arguments in the article you link hold in this day and age.  Every time there is an argument for single parenting, there are drones of people arguing for and against it.  So, in the case of polyandry, there would be no shortage of male role models.  And, women are perfectly capable, I am told, of raising children already.  Procreation rates are already at an all time low in modern societies - so birth rates will if anything, improve in a polyandrous relationship.

As for why only .47% of marriages are polyandrous, why are only 6.2% of world leaders women?    Perhaps this is an idea whose time has now come!

Polyandry also makes sense in Asian societies where the male to female ration is at an all time lopsided!

Barkha Herman
Joined
Jul '11
Barkha Herman
Herbert Woodbery: Does the poverty and degradation come from polygyny or from the fact these families have been ostracized by society? · 0 minutes ago

Good point!

wilber forge
Joined
Oct '10
wilber forge

Barkha Herman

DocJay: Absolutely.  I want to fight other men to be in my wife's bed every night.  Think of all that cool time in the weight room and doing MMA training.  I certainly don't want a rotation schedule, that would stink.   But the thrill of out boxing, wrestling or poisoning the other guys would make the wife a just reward as I gaze over the bloody defeated rivals.  Winning! · 6 minutes ago

We could definitely address the wussification of America.  Think of the role model you would be to all the young ones.. Men would grow up to be men and the girls would expect real men ;-) · 34 minutes ago

Interesting cultural premise. Save for the notion of propietary male purpose and traditional think.

Real men as it were, were always willing to do battle for a good woman. Conflict in a way helped cement the basis to a stable community. The duelling idea is long overdue for a real return to prove manhood and committment, no video games.

There is truly not much to said for the masculinity of the city dwelling males these days. They appear to be afraid of any loud noise. Sad.

wilber forge
Joined
Oct '10
wilber forge

Rob Long: I am not going totouch this.

But I'd like to see it on the Main Feed!  I imagine we'd get a lot of members who joined just to participate in this conversation! · 18 minutes ago

Oh, Please... You are a writer. Material for a new series perhaps ?

Fred Cole
Joined
Nov '11
Fred Cole

Rob Long: I am not going totouch this.

But I'd like to see it on the Main Feed!  I imagine we'd get a lot of members who joined just to participate in this conversation! · 19 minutes ago

We knew you were a squish when it came to polyandry!

Fred Cole
Joined
Nov '11
Fred Cole
skipsul: On a serious note, there are few real cases of polyandry, polgyny (the correct technical term for many wives) is far more common.

However, Barkha's original post was about polyandry, one woman with several husbands.  In that situation the power dynamic is different, women have all the power.


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