Democracy in Action
The White House has stated that it will respond to any and all online petitions that garner at least 25,000 signatures.
One such petition has not only met, but exceeded the threshold: A petition to have the United States build a Death Star.
I know that you think that this is crazy, but none other than Paul Krugman has advocated the following more than once in order to give a boost to the economy:
PAUL KRUGMAN, NEW YORK TIMES: This is hard to get people to do, much better, obviously, to build bridges and roads and healthcare clinics and schools. But my proposed, I actually have a serious proposal which is that we have to get a bunch of scientists to tell us that we’re facing a threatened alien invasion, and in order to be prepared for that alien invasion we have to do things like build high-speed rail. And the, once we’ve recovered, we can say, “Look, there were no aliens.”
But look, I mean, whatever it takes because right now we need somebody to spend, and that somebody has to be the U.S. government.
Now, here’s the thing: If we were to actually face an alien invasion, I highly doubt that the biggest agenda item on our to-do list would be to build high-speed rail. In fact, I daresay that a bigger and more pressing agenda item would be to build a Death Star. Not only could we equip ourselves to annihilate enemy spaceships once they have come close to Earth, we could get the Death Star to travel at light speed to enemy planets and obliterate them, no matter how peaceful those planets may turn out to be, and no matter how few weapons they might have.
So I do hope that the Obama administration will—like a bunch of good Keynesians—follow Krugman’s lead and announce that in anticipation of an alien threat, they will build a Death Star, if only to create jobs and stimulate the economy. I just hope that the Obamaesque Death Star won’t come with a thermal exhaust port that is at least two meters wide. I hear that if you practice gunning down womp rats in your T-16 back in Beggar’s Canyon, firing a couple of torpedoes that will destroy the exhaust port (and the Death Star with it) will be no problem whatsoever.
I mean, I would hate for the Obamaesque Death Star to become some kind of latter-day Solyndra. Wouldn’t you?
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Comments:
May '10
Re: Democracy in Action
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Mar '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Pejman Yousefzadeh:
I just hope that the Obamaesque Death Star won’t come with a thermal exhaust port that is at least two meters wide. I hear that if you practice gunning down womp rats in your T-16 back in Beggar’s Canyon, firing a couple of torpedoes that will destroy the exhaust port (and the Death Star with it) will be no problem whatsoever.
Oh, man...everybody thinks they are a designer.
Jan '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Yes, but I want to be in the room when we try to get China's permission.
Oct '10
Re: Democracy in Action
One little-known fact is that the attack on the Death Star in the original Star Wars movie is a deliberate homage to the climax of the greatest British World War II movie, The Dam Busters.
Jul '11
Re: Democracy in Action
I'd hate to have to do the cost estimate for the Death Star. It's hard enough to comply with the DFAR, let alone an intergalactic version.
I'll whip up an estimate in ProPricer over the weekend. Should bog the server down at work for 3 days. Does anyone have competitive quotes on that giant laser-blaster thing that's at least powerful enough to obliterate, say, an Alderaan-class planet?
Apr '11
Re: Democracy in Action
I love America. Only in the USA can we be so patently ridiculous and so over-the-top awesome all at the same time, and cheer ourselves on all the time.
America: Hold my beer and watch this ...
Apr '11
Re: Democracy in Action
The power of a Death Star is nothing compared to the power of the Force.
Jun '10
Re: Democracy in Action
Given the inordinate review times involved, with a Death Star scale project, we will have been occupied/colonized/vaporized several times over before the Environmental Impact Statement is even completed.
You do realize those are the #1 last words of the American Southern male?
Apr '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Eeyore: Given the inordinate review times involved, with a Death Star scale project, we will have been occupied/colonized/vaporized several times over before the Environmental Impact Statement is even completed.
You do realize those are the #1 last words of the American Southern male? · 16 minutes ago
Indeed I do!
May '10
Re: Democracy in Action
Surely, the construction would come to a screeching halt the moment the EPA extended its protection to dust mites.
Oct '10
Re: Democracy in Action
So Krugman read The Watchmen... I've always been more partial to Rorschach than Ozymandias in my thought process.
Dec '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Only one Death Star? Don't people understand Keynesian multipliers? We need 100 Death Stars!
Re: Democracy in Action
They did come up with a Death Star.
It's called Obamacare.
Oh, you mean one that flies around in space?
Sep '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Heh. Rubes.
We've been building the Death Star in Arizona for seven years. That's how Doug Kimball and I know each other:
We're subs on the federal contract to build the Death Star's light rail system.
Mar '11
Re: Democracy in Action
The alien invasion has already happened. We welcomed them with open arms, created sanctuary cities, and gave them free services and in-state tuition.
Oh, you mean aliens from outer space. Why would we treat them any differently? (Do space aliens vote Democratic?)
Mar '11
Re: Democracy in Action
Hmm, the transition is impressively seamless.
Edited on December 19, 2012 at 5:55amRe: Democracy in Action
Alas, most people do.
Re: Democracy in Action
What? I'm wrong?
Percival
Pejman Yousefzadeh:
I just hope that the Obamaesque Death Star won’t come with a thermal exhaust port that is at least two meters wide. I hear that if you practice gunning down womp rats in your T-16 back in Beggar’s Canyon, firing a couple of torpedoes that will destroy the exhaust port (and the Death Star with it) will be no problem whatsoever.
Oh, man...everybody thinks they are a designer. · 6 hours ago
Re: Democracy in Action
Yes, but since the Force is an energy field that surrounds us and gives us life, it is already in existence. We won't generate the economy by creating what is already there.
Re: Democracy in Action
I don't know about the Watchmen. Krugman is an Asimov/Second Foundation fan. But I do see where you get that.