Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
So here's a priceless example of the wonderful world feminists have created. This mom is dismayed that her preschooler son is being encouraged to let girls go first to the bathroom.
Writing in the New York Times (of course) Lynn Messina complains that" he’s actively being taught to treat girls differently, something I thought we all agreed to stop doing, like, three decades ago." Later she says, "Letting girls use the bathroom first isn’t a show of respect. It is, rather, the first brick in the super high pedestal that allows men to exalt women out of sight. A true show of respect is paying us equally for the same work, not 77 cents on the dollar, which is the current average."
That 77 cents canard cannot be killed no matter how many times it's been shown to be bogus.
But great job, feminists. You have mostly killed chivalry. Now your middle school daughters can be asked for blow jobs by their classmates. And many, with no dads at home to protect and guide them, comply.
When they get to college, the first thing they'll learn is how to avoid date rape.
But, as I say, great job. Because we don't want women "exalted out of sight."
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Comments:
Dec '10
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Mona - broken link on "bogus."
Editor: Should be fixed now. Thanks.
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 2:52pmSep '12
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
I read that and, as a Southern gentleman, I just about had a fit.
We? We? What do you mean "we," paleface? She's got the Pauline Kael bubble around her on this subject, except Kael was aware enough to realize it. I only have daughters, so unfortunately I won't be able to teach a son how to be a gentleman, but I'm certainly going to be teaching my daughters to expect boys to be gentlemen, and how they should act as ladies.
Sep '12
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
And on Mona's next-to-last comment: When I had my freshman orientation (Fall, 1990) at Rhodes College (a private, church-affiliated school), they had us all go to this eye-rollingly blunt "play" about date rape, followed by small-group discussion sessions. I was offended, because as a gentleman, I wasn't going to be getting into any kind of situation that could possibly lead into this problem in the first place. And I told them so.
I simply got up and walked out.
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Of course, if there is no difference between genders, and if the so-called pay gap is not because women choose seriously different careers and how they balance their work and life but solely because of some inexplicable sexism, then this woman is doing the logical thing.
And as the elites tell us these days, particularly as it relates to marriage, gender is an unimportant distinction. She's just being consistent.
The question might be whether we are also being consistent in how we understand gender differences.
Jun '12
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Perfect as usual, Ms. Charen. Your insight on where this all leads is spot on. I recently heard an anecdote about the latest teen sex party trend in our town, which I can't expound upon for CoC reasons, but it is pathetic. My daughter is 6. I am seriously considering having her cloistered. Not really, but who knows by the time she's a teen ager what nonsense will be afoot.
Mar '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
It will be important for little Emmet to learn sooner than most one of life's most important lessons for men: how and when to tell Mom to back off.
So, Emmet, here you go – fix her with a steely gaze, intone "it's not about who you are, it's about who I am," and stroll out of the room.
Nov '10
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
I think whenthe words "blow" and "job" are used in succession, they need to be wrapped in brackets and covered by the word expletive.
Smile. That's humor again. I never make any serious comments.
Mar '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
"Our journey is not complete until we have overcome nature and disregard all its limits in the name of self-determination. Our journey is not complete until we eliminate all differences between boys and girls, men and women. Our journey is not complete until every person, orientation, gender, and fetish can openly speak its name and be celebrated with equal love by all others. Our journey is not complete until we've silenced the reactionary voices of oppression in our midst who hold on to outdated concepts, and therefore our journey is not complete until we have liberated every man, woman, in-between, and child to become whatever it is that they are or whatever it is they want to be, at whatever cost."
That paragraph got excised from the President's remarks yesterday; last minute pen and ink change, I'm told....
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:22pmApr '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
You're completely wrong. These silly, outdated rituals harm boys not girls. Boys are systematically taught that they must be subservient to girls.
Girls go first means girls are first.
Young women use "girls first" to get what they want - that cookie, that relief from a full bladder, fresh air at recess - before the boys.
Girls first is used as a sneer, to cut in line. It's not about courtesy anymore It's about showing boys they are inferior to girls.
If this was just about courtesy, we'd have courtesies enforced on girls towards boys. But only boys have "courtesies" enforced upon them. It's not about courtesy but about pushing boys down.
Mona, stop teaching boys they are second-best.
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:25pmSep '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
I was considered "old school" in elementary school in the 1960s--because my (single) mother insisted I invariably walk on the curb side of the sidewalk, open doors, take coats, hold umbrellas, and otherwise pretend to be well-behaved.
When I worked for a California software company/commune/cult, I found that opening doors annoyed the rah-rah feminists; taking coats and holding the occasional umbrella caused the underwear arsonists to fume; but nothing--nothing--produced such a delightfully predictable display of indignation and "do you know what he DID?!?" outrage than, when crossing the street, taking the woman's elbow and gently moving her from my left to my right so I ended up on the curb side. It never failed to send the tech support leader into the stratosphere....
In Elizabethan times society made a distinction between ladies and women. A gentleman was expected to treat a lady with respect--but was free (within limits of decorum) to use and abuse women with impunity. It's extremely odd that the feminists seem to pine for those days.
Apr '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
I suspect the editors will run and hide as usual, but here goes.
If this is just about courtesy, then why are these "courtesies" only enforced upon boys? What "courtesies" towards boys are we teaching (by fiat) to girls?
None.
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:30pmJul '10
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Excellent! But with such idiocy pervasive, this is good news for those guys that still follow a gentlemanly code of conduct. No matter what feminists say, most women adore chivalry and being treated with respect. By simply calling them "ma'am" and speaking respectably, attracting good women is much easier than if more men were chivalrous.
Sep '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Broken link on "here's" -- the anchor tag "href" element is missing the colon after "http".
[Editor: Fixed. Thanks.]
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:45pmMay '10
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Blow job. She said, "Blow job." Man. Let those NRO folks in the door and they start trashing the place!
Well, they wanted a less civilized society and they got it. Let them live with the consequences. Can we start our own country yet?
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:33pmSep '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
EJHill: [Appalling CofC violation]. She said, "[Appalling CofC violation]" Man. Let those NRO folks in the door and they start trashing the place!
Well, they wanted a less civilized society and they got. Let them live with the consequences. Can we start our own country yet?
Hmph!
We can be charitable, and expect to improve the behavior of the savages by setting a better example.
But until that behavior improves, it might be best if she used the servant's entrance....
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:36pmOct '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
My wife used to work with Lynn at Self Magazine. She (my wife) just rolled her eyes when reading this last week.
When Lynn found out that my wife was conservative she (Lynn) leaned over her desk and smack her head on it. She literally could not compute that my wife, an incredibly intelligent, kind, funny woman, was conservative.
Anyway, my wife says Lynn thinks her son is the most important person ever, so this piece about how he shouldn't open doors for girls is really about "why aren't people opening doors for my son?"
Edited on January 22, 2013 at 3:41pmJun '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
When we moved my son into a dorm for his freshman year at a small, private Midwestern university, I found that the walls of the place were literally plastered with date rape advisories.
And I thought: either (a) this place is a sexual predator's paradise, or (b) there isn't really a date rape problem, and the dire date rape warnings are merely the goofy (and often contradictory) items one finds on a feminist group's to-do list for college campuses ("push for unisex bathrooms -- check; plaster walls with date rape fliers -- check").
With (b) being the far, far more likely of the two answers, the question then becomes: why do university administrators always yield to such feminist agitation? And wouldn't it be appropriate to tell the agitators that the ubiquity of the date rape warning fliers actually undermines their cause by subtly (or not so subtly) suggesting that date rape is so common as to be . . . well . . . normal?
As bad as the agitators are, it's the college administrators and all who enable this kind of nonsense who are to blame for the sorry state we find ourselves in.
Apr '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Hah! Balderdash.
Dec '10
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Every time I see how "exalted" girls are by our feminist culture (exalted meaning dressed in less than underwear and paraded around like they're part of a cattle auction) I think, "their dads must be proud." As the father of two very beautiful daughters, I hope to always be ashamed of them by the culture's standards.
Aug '11
Re: Don't Let Your Preschooler be a Gentleman
Mona Charen:
But great job feminists. You have mostly killed chivalry. Now your middle school daughters can be asked for blow jobs by their classmates. And many, with no dads at home to protect and guide them, comply...· · 1 hour ago
Interesting point. The quote I highlighted goes to something I was thinking about-- a lot of modern feminism is really more about women simply mirroring male patterns of sexual "assertion." The problem with that is that practical effects for women are very different, and that leads directly into your comment about wages-- pregnancy is one thing that affects how much women earn.
Also, I think that women mirroring the sexual assertiveness of men has probably been somewhat negative for men, but that's another topic.
I think the problem with some aspects of modern feminism is that there is this myth that women and men are the same. They're morally the same, and deserving of rights, but I'm pretty sure that the differences evolution left us with go beyond just sex organs.