My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Instead of watching the debate tonight, I had dinner with friends in Littleton. The restaurant had approximately 34 televisions going and all were tuned into the Denver Broncos preseason game. I love Colorado.
So I missed the little brouhaha over Byron York's question to Michele Bachmann, embedded above. When I think of the top, say, 1,000 questions I'd like to hear Fox News ask GOP presidential contenders, asking Michele Bachmann about her views on submissive wives wouldn't rank on my list. And you could tell the audience thought it an unconscionably rude or idiotic question.
What I find surprising, though, is how little the culture understands about what the New Testament teaches Christians about marriage. So as a wife in a Christian marriage, allow me to explain. Marriage is my most important vocation. It is the means by which God blesses me and my husband. Ephesians tells us that marriage is an image of Christ and the church.
St. Paul tells spouses to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives are told to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Husbands are told to lay down their lives for their wives, sacrificing everything for them out of love.
We serve God by serving our spouses and denying ourselves for their good. As Gene Veith has written:
The husband loves and serves his wife, and the wife loves and serves her husband. The unpopular command for the wife to “submit” and the forgotten command for the husband to “give himself up” for his wife are examples of the self-denial required in every vocation. The husband, emulating Christ, sacrifices himself for his wife, who, emulating the church, receives that sacrifice in submission to him.
Today’s culture gets marriage wrong, in large part, because of our obsession with the self. People assume that marriage is supposed to be about self-fulfillment. Christianity, in contrast, teaches self-denial. The irony is that in a Christian view of marriage, both spouses are fulfilled, not by each of them making selfcentered demands, but through the selfless actions of the other.
I fail at this daily but this is what I aim for in my relationship with my husband. Likewise, he aims for this with me. When we sin, which happens all too often, we confess our sins and receive absolution. This is what our daily life is like and I'm thankful to have this teaching about marriage.
The fact is that the husband's given role -- that of complete sacrifice for his wife -- is much more difficult than the wife's role of submission. But something tells me we won't be seeing anybody ask the Catholic or Evangelical male candidates whether they can be president while holding a Biblical view of marriage that requires this complete sacrifice for their spouse. On the one hand, that's a good thing. On the other, it shows just how much that vital role -- the one that sustains a Christian marriage -- has been neglected and forgotten.
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Comments:
Sep '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Amen. Though I wouldn't be surprised to see such little understanding of what the NT says about marriage in a culture that now has a 40% out-of-wedlock birthrate, and an establishment class that has been so infected by 1970s era feminism.
I didn't really see the purpose of that question, other than to suggest that her being a Christian woman somehow disqualifies her as a candidate.
Feb '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
My first response at the time was that I was stunned when Byron York came up with this line of questioning. It was out of nowhere and should have stayed there. I did not see the relevance, as a husband and wife relationship is highly personal and has nothing to do with Michele's ability to govern. It reminds me of the old saw put forth, "When did you stop beating your wife?" York may as well have asked Michele when she stopped cheating on her husband. It was really that silly a question and from someone who should have known better. I lost respect for York, but none for Michele, as she handled her answer with grace and dignity.
Edited on August 12, 2011 at 9:05amNov '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mollie Hemingway, Ed.
And you could tell the audience thought it an unconscionably rude or idiotic question.
And that is because Bachmann is a highly accomplished individual and everybody knows it.
Mar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
And she knocked the answer outa the park - perfect!
Dec '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
I still say better to be asked in this context than another. The questioners swept a lot of the irrelevant stuff away by handling it here rather than in the MSM.
Dec '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mollie, something tells me that Mr. York could have benefited from whatever Sunday School class, Catechism, or other theological education you experienced.
My deepest thanks for explaining complementarianism at a length that Mrs. Bachman was not provided.
P.S. You're kinda my hero.
P.P.S. Colorado is becoming a redder shade of purple every day you're in it!!
Edited on August 12, 2011 at 12:26pmMar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mollie: I appreciate your condensed summation of the Christian position on marriage, and completely agree that the traditional conception is about mutual sacrifice for one another, not one partner being dominated by the other.
This whole incident should be filed under heading "Because the caricature of the GOP isn't sufficiently sexist"....
Byron, pal, how do you ask the only woman in the race if she is fulfilling her marital vows? Especially when you have men on the stage who have been....shall we say....a bit loose with their own vows (Gingrich: I'm looking at you, buddy). Could there be a more sexist question or a worse way of framing it?
Is Mrs. Bachmann's Biblical hermeneutic more important for running the country than our policy toward, I don't know, say, the Arab Spring? No? Okay then, how about using this valuable opportunity to ask questions that matter.
I have been fairly critical of Mrs. Bachmann in the past here on Ricochet, but I have also said that when she impresses me, I'll let you know. Well, in her self-possession, clear love for her family, and restraint in answering this question, she impressed me.
Mar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
I'm not sure why the whole last section ended up bolded and italicized.
Sorry, I wasn't yelling.
Aug '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mollie, respect for others is a central tenet of Christianity. This includes a wife deeply respecting her husband.
Liberal attitude encompasses, "I can do what I want, when I want, where I want and how I want and you can't tell me otherwise!" (Look to London for this attitude in action.)
Question: Can Liberal selfishness grasp the concept of respect? More to the point, is Liberal open-mindedness big enough to include understanding "a submissive wife"?
Jun '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Crow's Nest: I'm not sure why the whole last section ended up bolded and italicized.
Sorry, I wasn't yelling. · Aug 12 at 4:02am
It's well worth the bold type -- well said. Coming from Byron York ??? I am completely shocked. Love his work and this seems completely out of character. I hope he's not going Frum on us.
Apr '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Thank you for the beautiful explanation, Mollie. My husband and I were married almost six years ago and we wrote our own wedding vows. I surprised him (and maybe, everyone else) by adding the line "I submit myself to you as to the Lord." Perhaps Byron York's question last night will spur a greater understanding of the Christian view of marriage as you have done in this post. I hope. Sadly, the reality is that most people will use it as yet another reason to disparage our faith.
Mar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
In Ephesians 5 where Paul talks about submission, there are 3 verses directed to the woman and 9 to the man. But prior to these verses is verse 21: "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." (ESV). We are to submit to each other - man and woman.
I personally didn't mind Byron York's question as I knew this would come up, Michele answered it well, and hopefully this issue has been dealt with.
May '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
In fairness, there are Christians (I know lots of them) who interpret Ephesians 5 to mean that wives should be subordinate to their husbands, and that they are religiously obliged to obey their husband's decisions in all things.
May '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
I missed the last half hour of the debate, but listening to it now, I think Byron did well in asking that question. He quoted her alluding to Ephesians in making a career decision that went against her own preference. That raises a serious issue.
How can she be in charge if she considers her husband her superior?
The public deserves an explanation and clarification. Similarly, the non-Catholic public formerly needed and deserved explanation and reassurance that the Catholic doctrine of papal infallibility did not mean that a Catholic politician was obliged to obey the pope in matters of state.
Edited on August 12, 2011 at 1:43pmJun '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
I confess I didn't watch the debate, but is it possible (or even likely) that York was deliberately affording the Congresswoman an opportunity to diffuse and even demolish an absurd issue that the left has raised (see, for example, Ruth Marcus's hit piece in the Washington Post in late July)?
Jun '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Katievs: I'm a bit surprised to read that you think Byron did well in asking that question.
Byron's question in no way distinguishes between a personal career choice which would affect the family, and exercising the formal powers of the state. The implications of the question seem to point to something like "How can we trust you to exercise the powers of the state responsibly if you are submissive to your husband". That makes no sense to me:
I presume that Mrs. Bachmann conversed with her husband before she decided to run for Congress. I presume he stood behind her when she did so. I presume she spoke with him about running for President, which means I presume he supports her. I presume she converses with her husband about the ways she votes and the issues facing the country, but I'm rather certain that whatever her faults (and, in my mind, they are numerous enough to disqualify her for higher office) she is not merely his proxy and she isn't calling him and saying "Honey, HR XXXX is on the floor and its time for me to vote. How should I vote?"
How is this relevant?
Sep '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Mollie thanks for your post. I agree with your perspective. To some respect is a dirty word. Is York just doing his bit for the Republican establishment or is he an independent journalist seeking the truth?
Jun '10
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
And that is exactly how one gives a great answer to a lousy question. The question from York (perhaps we will have an opportunity on an upcoming Ricochet broadcast to learn his thinking behind it) sounded as if he was accusing MB of being some sort of cultist Christian shuffling, head down, behind her husband as he leads the family, pitchfork in hand, through life. It was so odd because from what any of us knows about Ms Bachmann, the complete opposite is true. She is the leader of the family. However, her answer was venom free, clear, and persuasive. She showed her ability to turn insult into praise. Thanks for the question, Byron. My husband and I respect each other...that is our form of submission. It almost brought a tear to my eye.
Mar '11
Re: My Name's Mollie And I'm A Submissive Wife
Perfectly stated, Mollie. God bless you for your convictions.