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On Cat-calling and Feminism
Making the rounds on the Internet is a video of a woman minding her own business on the streets of New York and being catcalled. Everyone else has weighed in, so I thought I’d throw my two cents into the ring. Although I’m sure that everyone will ignore this part, I’d like to say that harassing a woman (or, for that matter, men) is not acceptable under any circumstances. It’s just simply not okay. That being said, let’s dive in.
If you haven’t seen the video, it features a woman walking around New York City wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The video was filmed secretly (she was aware of it, those around her were not) for 10 hours, and she was catcalled 108 times. I think we can all agree that that is pretty gross. So, where does the blame fall for such grossness? I’d argue that quite a lot of this is the legacy of second- and third-wave feminism.
There was a time when men were gentlemen. I’m not saying it was perfect, but I think we can all agree that Victorian men weren’t shouting “Looking good, baby!” at the ladies walking by. Men had a level of respect for women that would have made it unacceptable to society. I would posit that men also respected themselves more thanto behave in such a demeaning way. Oh, how the times have changed.
Then feminism came along. They upset the balance in a good way by earning women equal rights. They upset the balance in a bad way by acting like idiots. When the battle cry of women is consequence-free sex, free birth control, and free abortion, it’s not surprising that men see women as objects for sex. When politicians pander to women based on these issues, telling women to “vote like your lady parts depend on it,” it shows that society has taken these messages to heart. When women actually respond positively to these messages and vote for those candidates, it is clearly indicative of how much respect they have for themselves as sentient beings. Congratulations, feminists, the world sees you as a very specific body part, which is exactly where you started. So, why should we be surprised that this translates to a woman walking down the street?
How about the men involved? Yes, they are gross. Men have been so pushed around by feminists that they have made it practically impossible to be a gentleman without giving offense. Maybe, and this is a radical notion, when a man pays a woman a compliment, she could just say “thank you.” Half of the instances in this video are men saying things like “have a nice day,” which hardly seems inflammatory.
Instead, so many women get their victim on in response to every little thing a man does and this serves to push men into three camps. The first is the men who choose to say nothing. They have been gelded by the feminist movement and are over there, hiding, being all beta male. Then we have the men like those in the video, who have figured that since they are going to be berated anyway, they might as well just remove the filter (plus, the whole lack of respect mentioned above). Finally, there is the increasingly tiny camp of men who will continue to act with chivalry even if the occasional woman bristles at having the door held open for her. While women are largely responsible for allowing themselves to be portrayed in a certain way, men need to stand up and do what is right regardless of ruffled feathers.
Sure, “street harassment” shouldn’t be something with which women have to contend on a daily basis. I think, on that, we may all agree. If you want to put a stop to it though, you will have to accept what’s actually behind it. Women should be able to go for a walk without being harassed, and that comes down to respect, but that respect is not something to which we are inherently entitled. We first must respect ourselves as men and women and show ourselves to be respectable.
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How much of this are you romanticizing and applying an upper class waspy norm to a whole culture?
Did low class man act in a low class manner in the late 19th century?
I have watched the video and wasn’t at all surprised at the behavior. None of the men were dressed in business suits or appeared to be what I would call middle class. Most were minority men, Blacks mainly, with a few older teens. The behavior is disgusting, but, if you have worked in the public schools as I have, nothing out of the ordinary. Among the less educated minorities and whites respect for women is minimal. It has nothing to do with feminism. These guys simply have never been particularly polite to their own women. This woman in the video is not dressed in what might have once been referred to as a “lady-like manner.” Among men of greater education and sophistication this might not make a difference. However, when dealing with the hoi polloi it most definitely does. I have seen the difference in the way that young men act towards adults, both male and female, based on how they dress. Generally, women teachers whose dress reflected earlier standards of appropriateness were treated with greater respect than those who tried to dress like the kids. Even though the age range of the various men in the video ran the gamut, one can assume that a certain behavior is either learned at an early age or it is not. In the case of many in the video, it obviously wasn’t.
The video says it’s about walking throught all areas of Manhattan. Isn’t Wall Street in Manhattan? I don’t know New York, but these streets look like some of the seedier parts of town. It looks like the clips are from streets with men hanging around with not much to do. A couple even looked homeless (they always say God Bless You when you ignore them). The behavior in the video is gross, but it isn’t a revelation to me that the men you see in the video would act like that.
This video doesn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. It also doesn’t inform any young woman who already has a mother who cares enough to warn her about low class men.
It would be easier to teach a cat to play piano than to get the men you see in the video to stop annoying or harassing a woman they are attracted to. It would be more useful if she just informed the viewer which streets to avoid than to suggest that gross behavior can be eliminated.
Get out of New York. Why must we suffer this proctologist’s view of America as if this is our country. You know what I hear? Foreign accents and a celebrated third-world thug culture that we are not allowed to criticize.
That’s less than one time every five minutes. In 5 minutes of walking in Manhattan, one must pass by several hundred people if not a thousand.
Why not let us take this discussion one step further. What if this attractive young woman with a good figure and reasonably tight fitting jeans had pranced around the streets of New York for ten hours and not received one catcall? Not one “Go baby” or even a ” Have a nice day”. My guess is that she would have been devastated. Certainly I do not countenance rude or vulgar remarks to women and certainly condemn aggressive behavior. But today’s fashions are not designed to aid women in going unnoticed. If you troll a shiney lure through a school of hungry tuna don’t be offended if one of them tries to make a meal out of it.
Why would women wear such tight fitting, revealing clothing if not to attract the male eye? If they truly don’t want to be noticed then copy the wardrobe and hairstyles of the true feminist. I have never seen one that would elicit even a second glance, much less a catcall.
So they claim. There has been some skepticism online that the men didn’t know they were being filmed, and that it’s possible they had been encouraged and “primed” to behave a certain way when she walked past.
There is no way to independently verify that their methodology was actually how they describe it.
Look at how quickly the Left works to debunk any James O’Keefe video, and yet they accept this video as gospel truth.
I’d kind of like to see the same video with someone following a man around. Do you just get ignored while walking through the streets and passing by thousands of people? Anyone asking for money, drugs? I remember walking down a street in Portland and having a prostitute yell to me: “hey, you looking for a date?”
…just curious if this video actually really reveals anything at all.
“Gross” and “disgusting”? I don’t think so. Mildly annoying, at most. (Except for the two who walked along side her – those were creepy.) I can’t believe this is a thing. (I’m the woman in my avatar, not the man. :))
I’m beyond skeptical. You don’t have to be a woman to be aware of women being solicited in public. We all overhear things said by other people on a crowded street. In all the years I’ve lived in cities (Boston, Portland, Los Angeles), and with all the miles I’ve walked around observing people, I’ve never overheard a man try to pick up a woman on the street, or volunteer free sexual compliments. (Bars, that’s different.) I’m sure it happens occasionally, but if it happened this often, I’d have seen it at least a few times. I suspect at least some of these were staged.
You know, I don’t think I have ever actually seen a real life instance of this either. But I have had all kinds of people try and sell me pot and beg money.
You have to admit that it is difficult for men to control their urges. Initially, my comment was going to be “when did we get this Amelia Hamilton chick to write for us?! Wowsers, what a babe! Nice call, Rob and co. hooooooot!”
but, you know, I thought better of it…
Women are flattered when men they are attracted to approach them, because it validates her as valuable. Women are offended and creeped out when men they are unattracted to approach them, because it sends the message that she’s not as valuable as she imagines if such a man thinks he would have a chance with her, and that message must be firmly rejected.
This is natural, but its been paired with the modern societal messages that a woman should essentially be able to dress and act as she pleases and not suffer adverse consequences, that any unsolicited address to her counts as a “catcall”, and that you should be able to go out in public while being completely shielded from any interaction with, well, the public. This is a toxic brew.
Now, all of these guys were truly awful in their approaches, they need serious help, and they were all low-class, but I have to admire them in a way. They have internalized that they have nothing to lose and this woman’s rejection is of no consequence to them. In contrast to many men nowadays who are terrified to approach a woman, because the “higher-class” environment they have been marinading in since childhood has subtly taught them that any attempt to chat up a strange woman makes them a creep, and that they are exclusively responsible for any bad feelings she gets, and that her feelings take precedence over theirs by mere virtue of her sex.
As I’ve commented before, I ran McDonald’s in downtown and SE DC. My GF at the time would occasionally come to visit. This stuff was par for the course… until it was known that I was her BF.
I have only this to offer, but it really doesn’t apply to this young woman.
I hold doors open (among other things). On those occasions where I am rebuked, I reply “it’s not about who you are… it’s about who I am.”
That makes them even angrier, and that makes me smile.
Once this exchange was witnessed by a little old lady coming up behind for whom I also held the door open. She gave me a smile, a wink, and a thank you. That made my whole day.
Interesting post and comments. I think it is safe to say that what this woman experienced is pretty normal. What is interesting is that for all the big ideological questions about feminism, the decline of society, etc., there are also the basic realities of life. Men respond to women in tight clothes. They also respond to women that provoke their respect and sense of protection. I have worked in inner city ministry and inner city schools where the negative treatment of women is more common. However, I am amazed at how powerful it is when a woman dresses with modesty and taste and is respectful and kind. I’m thinking of a number of specific examples of Hispanic, African American, and white men who might have very easily responded the same way as the men in that video but instead shifted their demeanor and began to act like big, protective brothers to me, sometimes in challenging circumstances. They would have pounded anyone who was disrespectful to me. If you honor wisdom, you get shalom. I wonder if there is a point where we need to start calling people out for not using wisdom, for declaring their right to do whatever they want without considerating its effect on others (the effect of an attractive woman in tight clothes on a man is one of the most axiomatic effects one human can have on another), and for not taking ownership for promoting what is good instead of complaining about what is bad (after provoking it!) On the other hand, I do think it might do our culture some good to reintroduce the idea of chivalry, acting like a gentleman, etc., and shaming behavior that is lame. Unfortunately there are enough women who respond to it to keep it going.
I wonder how many of those complaining bitterly about this beastly male behavior toward women vehemently denounce the exclusion of women from the Navy Seals.
OK, I’ll throw my 2 cents on this subject: I watched the video and had major deja vu. That is what walking around New York was like for me when I was in my 20s and worked and lived there. I was young, dressed very conservatively and modestly, and–no–the behavior was never the slightest bit flattering. It was threatening and scary. Also, as little as I like modern feminists, I don’t see how we can blame them for it, since this was apparently a well established behavior pattern back in the 1980s, which was relatively early in the course of feminism.
It does seem to me that it’s a local cultural phenomenon. I have experienced much less of this in any other city I have visited or lived in, so it seems kind of silly to try to make broader generalizations about cultural causes–either, as the feminists do, to blame sexism or, as we do, to blame feminism.
My impression was that the woman was walking pretty angrily. The guys who noticed her were standing around not doing much, so her angry purposeful stride attracted their often-puzzled attention. A few of the younger guys looked mentally ill. A couple looked threatening, but most of them looked simply quizzical.
None of it fit my idea of a “catcall,” which used to be a whistle from a construction worker.
What I found disturbing was how much like the scenes in Depression era photographs these city streets looked.
I felt very sorry for the guys in the video.
Well NYC does frequently smell like a rotting greasetrap behind a grubby diner.
Having lived in Portland for some 43 years prior to leaving this manner of vocalization was quite rare. One would more likely be asked for money or out rightly be challenged by quasi homeless punks.
As for all those that wish to claim the now popular moniker of Picked Upon for whatever various reason. Small minds make for small selfish worlds in which to reside.
In as much as the lot of this type is a very small percentage in the overall, put em all in a big cage and let em settle their own hash and stop wasting our time.
Just had to get that one off my chest, My apologies.
I’ve lived in New York most of my life. The video accurately depicts what it can be like to walk around some areas of the city. Men occasionally call-out and say hello to women. It’s been going on for decades. Boorish perhaps, but so is using a cell phone on a train or demanding service in a restaurant.
The only cat-call we should all be worrying about is Allahu Akbar.
People, this is a wake-up call! You have a chance, yes you, to affect society for the better! Don’t live in New York City!
“The video was filmed secretly”
Not so much.
They might have wrapped the camera in something to slightly obscure the outline, but looking at the way they managed to keep her in frame (and how smoothly the shot moved), the backwards-walking camera person would have been really, REALLY obvious to pretty much everyone on the street. From the looks of things, they were even using something on the order of a Steadicam rig (or one of the smaller, lightweight versions of same), which means that the “secret” part was either a flat-out lie or a huge delusion.
“Hey, that girl’s on camera.”
“Let’s say something so we can be in a YouTube video.”
Good thing she didn’t walk through a college campus. The way I hear it, she would have been sexually assaulted 2.3 times. Obviously, skid row in Manhattan is much safer.
What do we really know about attitudes in Victorian times? I think most women (and men) probably had it a lot worse back then. Our problem is cat-calling, but theirs maybe was food, shelter etc.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a very vocal feminist a few years ago. I was pointing out the dismal condition of women in most countries in Africa, Asia, the Middle East etc. She would have none of it and wanted to speak only of how unequal our own society still was.
If one’s concern is for women in general, why should anger and frustration stop at the border? With racial apartheid in South Africa, Americans pushed for change over there much more aggressively than women are doing today. In my view, this hurts the credibility of feminism and reduces it to an upper-class economic campaign.
If feminism today has to ask “why can’t every man behave like a Victorian gentleman?”, you know it is running out of gas. Unfortunately.
To be fair, nothing in the video itself claims that the behaviour depicted is representative of behaviour one would experience in locations other than street-level New York City.
I have seen several comments, especially on Twitter, that “she was walking in the ghetto, so what should she expect.”
From what I could see, she was nowhere near a truly bad part of town. They wouldn’t have returned with the camera.
“Finally, there is the increasingly tiny camp of men who will continue to act with chivalry even if the occasional woman bristles at having the door held open for her.”
I am in this camp and actually find it very useful. It acts as a litmus test. I hold doors open for women and otherwise try to act in a chivalrous manner. If a woman thanks me, my esteem for her grows. Any woman who does not react or has a negative reaction loses my respect. In most cases women thank me. Some do not say anything. I really cannot recall any Feminist actually reacting negatively, but then again I live in South Florida. Hispanic women still expect men to be gentlemen and are not Feminists as far as I can tell. Southern ladies also prefer gentlemen. I was in New York City about 6 years ago and held an elevator door open for a man who was about to miss it. He got in and asked me if I was a tourist. No lie. I told him I was and he said that most New Yorkers would not have held the door open.