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RAZZ:The Occupation Begins!
While the rest of you slept, my revolutionary comrades and I occupied this post. The area, having recently been designated as the zone for autonomous zones by the Ricochet Zoning Board, is hereby declared to be the Ricochet Autonomous-Zone Zone, or RAZZ.
We, the communal leadership committee of RAZZ, issue here our demands and decrees. Henceforth and forthwith:
- The preferred means of communication will be through Monty Python sketches
- Drinking games shall be one shot each time:
- Jonah says:
- Best gas station sushi in Arkansas
- Papal ninja army
- Rob:
- Says “Swanning”
- Says “Squish”
- Interrupts James’ ad segues
- James:
- Unleashes a lightning-fast killer zinger
- Peter:
- Lies when he says, “One last question”
- A statue of Doc Jay shall be erected and immediately toppled
- Our November campaign slogan is: Our guy is awful, but their guys are much worse
- Jonah says:
We will whine and stamp our feet until these just demands are met or until we get bored with the whole thing and go back to playing video games in our parents’ basements.
Published in General
I saw Variations On Baby-Killing open for Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark in 1982 at the Brixton Academy.
tps://www.theblaze.com/news/chaz-list-of-demands
Whatever you say, Bruce.
Hello! What, is your name not Bruce??
He does sometimes use it. But he stole it from Mark Steyn.
Can we call him Bruce anyway, just to make things easier?
We acknowledge the contributions of beer and pizza, but we do not express gratitude. Beer and pizza are our due as benefactors of humanity. Instead, you receive our snarls of contempt for the inadequacy of your meager offerings.
Since, however, you have signaled your willingness to meekly bend to our commands, we now present additional demands. You must now celebrate and affirm our actions. Every hour on the hour, every Ricochet member must stand and loudly sing our praises using the short raspberry salute. Ricochetti silence is violence!
Sure! Eeeee – manuel Kant was a real pissant who . . . .
Is any of that pizza gluten-free?
I do not think any of these words mean what you think they mean. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed the Parler gerbil, prepare to die!
You are in luck! It is mass free!
The Ricochetti have failed to adequately meet our demands for celebration and affirmation. Clearly, there is an indelible streak of anti-Razz prejudice deeply imbedded in the Ricochet DNA. We therefore demand public self-flagellation by recalcitrant Ricochetti. Refusal will result in immediate termination from your places of employment.
This afternoon’s obligatory two-minute hate will be held at 2pm EDT next to the organic, hydroponic, pizza dough garden, just west of the Porta Potties that Seattle Mayor, Jenny Durkan, provided in solidarity. The chant for this afternoon’s demonstration is: Get woke or go broke!
So it’s a feline revolution, then.
Of course.
So, will RAZZ reluctantly tolerate my unsolicited schnuggles and cutesy baby-talk?
“Who’d the cutest revolutionary movement in the whole wide world? You are!!!”
RAZZ demands that every statue of Karl Marx be replaced by one of Groucho and that a new radical text be created by a dialectical synthesis of Das Kapital and the script of Duck Soup.
Awful?
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!
I understand “vacuous,” “malodorous,” and “pervert,” but “coffee-nosed” is beyond me.
Coffee tends to be a brown color.
An accusation of “brown-nosing” (i.e., of sycophancy). Derivation: Monty Python sketch that included the Department of Abuse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKZ5bP1wsB0
Go away or I shall taunt you again!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSo0duY7-9s
The best burn is the burn they ask you to explain. Kudos.
You must be with the IRS. Perhaps I could interest you in a nice
abattoirblock of flats.RAZZ is proud to announce its 1987 Project. Though Ricochet was officially launched in May of 2010, its real founding was on June 12, 1987, the day Ronald Reagan gave his Brandenburg Gate speech, using speechwriter Peter Robinson’s line: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” With this statement, Reagan demanded an opening of borders and, metaphorically, an opening of minds – a demand diametrically opposed to the RAZZian right-think / groupthink nexus.
RAZZ demands uniformity of thought. Diversity is welcomed, but in appearance only. Members of the RAZZian collective must be of one mind and one spirit regardless of the outer shells they show to the world. We reject the oppression that liberation brings, we reject the idea that walls be torn down. We erect walls around our minds and shout down all attempts by muggles – those outside the collective – to reach inside our brains and fill them with anti-revolutionary propaganda.
Are you sure it wasn’t 1619?
No, that was the data of America’s original sin – it’s embrace of slavery. June 12, 1987 is the date of Ricochet’s original sin – it’s embrace of freedom and of freedom of thought.
A RAZZ communard has been expelled from the autonomous zone for insufficient wokeness. JohnnyK failed to use Spiritwind’s newly chosen pronoun of zee-zimmity-zum-zum-zee. JohnnyK claimed that he missed this morning’s notification, but we accept no excuses.
But, but, it was a lame excuse and therefore deserves our compassion and accommodation.
Is that an African Swallow or a European Swallow?
Babies or grandmas.