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Representing Queens in Denmark
Demonstrating once again her laser-like focus on representing the interests of her constituents in Queens, AOC flew to Denmark recently on an airplane that burned an enormous amount of fossil fuels. This no doubt thrilled those who live in her congressional district, who have plenty of time to follow their congressperson’s heroic exploits closely because they don’t work at an Amazon distribution center. AOC believes that it’s all about her constituents – it’s not about her, as you can tell from her statements to those assembled in Copenhagen:
“I speak to you not as an elected official or a public figure, but I speak to you as a human being,” the freshman congresswoman told a climate summit in Copenhagen. “A woman whose dreams of motherhood now taste bittersweet, because of what I know about our children’s future,” she added, apparently choking back tears.
Thankfully, she valiantly choked back her tears sufficiently to continue to heroically represent her constituents in Queens, NY, which is not far from Puerto Rico:
“I speak to you as daughter and descendant of colonized peoples who have already begun to suffer. Just two years ago one of the deadliest disasters in the United States struck in the form of Hurricane Maria,” she said. “The climate change-powered storm killed over 3,000 Puerto Ricans, American citizens — my own grandfather died in the aftermath — all because they were living under colonial rule, which contributed to the dire conditions and lack of recovery.”
So AOC is reluctant to have children because of the threat of climate change. A threat that is very real, especially to Queens residents who live under colonial rule, because her grandfather was killed by climate change two years ago. Strangely, she neglected to give his actual cause of death (drowning? heat stroke? not sure…). But he was killed by climate change. And colonial rule. So there you go.
But the good people of Queens can rest easy because they have a selfless hero in AOC who is willing to sacrifice everything – even her unborn children! – to save them from the type of selfish egomaniacs who would fly to Denmark on an airplane that burns an enormous amount of fossil fuels to attend a conference in person, rather than use Facetime or something.
It’s easy to see why the good people of Queens were so excited when AOC flew to Denmark on an airplane that burns an enormous amount of fossil fuels, although it’s also easy to understand how disappointed they’ll be when she flies back, on another airplane that burns an enormous amount of fossil fuels. Talk about choking back tears.
But AOC will lift them to a higher plane, as she bestrides the, um, ah…
Eh, whatever.
You know, my heart really isn’t in this. I think it’s because AOC’s heart really isn’t in it, either. Neither is Al Gore’s, Harrison Ford’s, Leonardo DiCaprio’s, or any of the rest of them.
They’ve given up hope for some sign of catastrophe. Like the crazed loons who believe the world is ending next Thursday afternoon, their life seems sort of empty on Friday morning. They’ve been praying for disaster for a long time. “The Population Bomb” came out in 1968. The ice age in the 1970’s didn’t work out. Neither did global warming in the 1980s. Baby seals. Polar bears. Whales. And so on and so forth. Everything seems to be going pretty well. You can imagine how disappointed they must feel. What a letdown.
So rather than have scientists pretend to present evidence that doesn’t exist, they have actors pound the podium and act angry, and they have an autistic high school sophomore lecture us about things she doesn’t understand.
It all seems sort of empty and pointless, like screaming at a cloud, which is sort of what they’re doing, I suppose. It might even be sort of funny, although I’d feel a little guilty about laughing at such unhappy people. But it’s not funny, because these people are using their climate change act to gain power. And if you think Donald Trump is not well suited to be in a position of power, imagine just ANY of these people in charge. Actually, don’t imagine. Just read about the actions of the EPA these days.
I was going to write a really funny post about this. But whatever. There’s no sport in it. Or maybe I’m just tired.
Anyone who wants to pick this up and do something better with it, here’s the news story that inspired my half-hearted attempt at humor. Before I got bored.
That’s really the problem, I think. These people are boring. I’d rather hang out with someone else.
And every election, millions of people vote for them. Absolutely astounding.
And they’re closer to complete control than you think. Which will make dying of climate change under colonial rule sound pretty good.
I can’t decide if I drink too much or not enough.
Published in General
It gets harder every day to satirize the Left. No matter how absurd a scenario you depict, the Left will have gone past that in a matter of days to something even more absurd.
We should cut them some slack, though. It must be so very difficult to know without a shadow of a doubt that you are right about something (everything, actually), and yet the actual evidence all runs to the contrary.
Puerto Rico is indeed a colony, albeit a non-productive one. It would be good for all involved to grant Puerto Rico independence.
I am 100 % on board for Puerto Rican independence.
Humor is in more dire straits than the living occupants of a planet with a benign climate that has objectively been changing since it condensed out of the remnants of a long-forgotten supernova. h/t Scott Adams https://dilbert.com
Future archaeologists will note the missing elements of humor, satire and irony from subsequent sediments as the Alinsky/Progressive Event.
You can hang with us. Or even come to the PIT.
AOC also repreesents the eastern part of The Bronx, where one of the greenest places in her district is Trump Links at Ferry Point. I’m sure she’s thrilled about that.
I fail to see the downside of AOC (or any other green wienie) not having children. I say to those folks, “Go for it!”
(To my own sons I say, “Ya know? I’ve only got one grandchild right now. She is gonna get everything I’ve got when I die unless the three of you get cracking. This is our chance to outnumber the green wienies.”)
Laughed out loud and spit out my coffee in the waiting area at Goodyear tire shop…thank you Richard.
“I speak to you not as an elected official or a public figure, but I speak to you as a human being,”
If that’s all they’re looking for, perhaps they’d like me to come and speak. We could all go.
Was thinking the same thing. We should be actively encouraging the left to have no children and turn off their electricity. I’ll even give them a state all to themselves to do that in, maybe Oregon. In a generation, they’ll be gone and in the meanwhile they won’t be able to say anything or go anywhere.
Should help raise the average IQ of the next generation.
The short answer is probably not enough.
how dare you make me read this post when i should be watching college football right now?
how dare you???
She gets to do it on the taxpayer’s dime. We’d have to pay our own way.
This needs to become a meme, like “I’m shocked, shocked, to find out [whatever] is going on here.”
Probably both
I agree, also for DC independence.
Depends on whose opinion he wants. His liver’s opinion? Too much. His brain’s opinion? Not nearly enough.
Kick ’em both out of America!
Not to be TOO pedantic, but they are called fulfillment centers, or FCs, for short.
Fulfillment centers service retail customers. Distribution centers primarily serve commercial customers.
I’m a logistician. It’s what we do.
Be pedantic?
We bid on a couple of million sf Amazon distribution centers.
I was so worried about nuclear war that it took me 8 years after I was married (in 1969) to get up the nerve to have a baby. Right now, it seems like the biggest threat to the survival of the human race is unwillingness to reproduce. If I had my life to live over, I’d have more kids.
So that means she must have paid her own way, right? Since she just flat-out stated that she’s not there in any official capacity.
In fact, I looked up the event. It’s a “World Mayors Summit.”
I believe “Mayor” is one more thing we can to the list of people not as whom she is speaking. So why is she there and who paid for the trip? That’s the first thing I’d want to know if I lived in her district.
But then, her district elected her so, I don’t think that place is exactly packed with inquiring minds.
But I don’t trust Occasional Cortez to keep her word. You watch she’ll be having Young uns soon, even without changing her commitment to Catastrophe. And when she does the media will swoon at her bravery for doing so.
Dr. B,
Yes, Leninist drivel all wrapped up in eco-Malthusian paranoia. To top it all off a googly-eyed little bartender going all emotional because she doesn’t have the guts to get married and have children.
Now, add a psychotic sixteen-year-old who is sure the world will end in 11 years and wow! It just doesn’t get better than this. Thanks, Soros, thanks, Democrats.
Regards,
Jim