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(Mis)understood Words
Have you ever heard a word used by someone who clearly didn’t understand it? Sometimes, it is the pronunciation (corpseman, obgynie), sometimes it’s totally the wrong word. And sometimes, the wrong word almost makes sense — those are my favorites.
One of my first examples was in the 6th grade when the teacher was explaining the circulatory system. He kept talking about the “Red Blood Corpsuckles.” I was in my wanting-to-be-a-doctor phase, was pretty sure that was not right, and did my best to correct him. (I’m still in my obnoxious-kid stage.)
My first boss in “the real world” was taking a weekly Dale Carnegie self-improvement course when I first started working for him. I could always tell what the lesson for the week was. For example, in the “get to know your coworkers” week, he took me to lunch. During “improve your vocabulary” week, he told me he was being “undulated” by paperwork. I thought the visual image was actually pretty good.
A co-worker used to talk about getting “to the crust” of the matter and sometimes, he would argue that an item was a “mute” point. In both cases, the wrong word sort of made sense.
At the same company, a line supervisor used to talk about someone coming up with a “good ideal.” I think she was the same one that one that once referred to the roots of her hair as “hair fossils.”
It is pretty common for one of our dogs to figure out what we are about to do before we even talk about it. At one of these times, my wife turned to me and said: “He must have ESPN.”
Sometimes, I worry that I am guilty of this mistake at times. I’ve always heard “it’s time to go to the mat” with respect to fighting a particular issue. That made sense to me; I was a wrestler in high hchool and “going to the mat” had a specific meaning. In the last two weeks, I’ve heard the phrase “go to the mattress” at least three times. I am no longer sure which is correct.
What about you — have you come across any of these? I’m particularly interested in the ones where the wrong word almost makes sense.
Published in Group Writing
@rightangles— Aww, my face is turning red. I must be brushing.
There is also a category of deliberate word misuse that can be somewhat funny. I have mentioned before listening to “The Ukelele orchestra of Great Britain” (Don’t laugh until you have tried it!). One of their songs is “Only You”, introduced as the only song about a tree and a sheep (that gives you some sense of where they are coming from). In the first part, the phrase is “You are my destiny”, but eventually, it becomes “You are my density”
It breaks up my wife and I – we are a pretty basic couple.
Haha! Only Ewe. I have heard them. They’re wonderful.
Mine says “pissgetti”
We love it.
Love them. I have seen them in person at least twice, plus CDs and at least one DVD. They are a trip (especially for a ukulele player).
Wow! You just went up in my estimation. Born to be Wild is one of my favorites
I’ve always loved the theme from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
I just watched this WONDERFUL piece by them. Thank you for the recommendation!!!
That is a fun one, too. Another one that’s crazy to watch is “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.
You wild kids and your crazy ukulele music. You’ve got jungle fever, that’s what it is!
@arahant – I’m beginning to worry if I am hijacking my own thread.
Your link to “You don’t bring me flowers” was hilarious. I would love to see one of their live performances. We mostly have audio versions – out here in the country we are severely bandwidth limited, so videos are an issue.
My wife and I speculate sometimes what the auditions for this group are like.
Can you play the ukelele? Yes
right then, what about singing? Yes
ok, what about making a “swoosh, swoosh” sound
ok, can you whistle?
ok, are you ok with slapstick humor?
I don’t know if it was at one of the concerts I was at or on the DVD, but in one they talked about hiring Jon, “The New Guy” who plays bass ukulele. It was pretty close to how you describe. Another very funny routine is “What They Tell Their Mums” to disguise the fact that they are in a touring ukulele group. It looks like they are coming to the US next March. Maybe they will be close enough for you to catch them. I’m sure they’ll add dates further out and make it a bigger tour than just two appearances in California.