A Helpful Guide to Cancelling ‘Mother’

Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers has recommended replacing the word “mother” with “inseminated person”.

Democratic Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers faced accusations of offending and erasing mothers after he introduced a bill in which the word “mother” was replaced with the phrase “inseminated person.”

The 1,917-page bill was introduced Tuesday by the Wisconsin Senate’s Joint Committee on Finance and contained Evers‘s budget recommendations for the 2025-2027 fiscal period. Amendments to certain parts of the bill that concerned state laws on paternity disputes and artificial insemination recommended that the term “mother” be replaced with “inseminated person” or “person inseminated;” “biological father” with “natural parent;” “husband” with “spouse;” and “male” with “person;” among other changes.

Here is a helpful sampling of the proper usage for “Inseminated Person” to help you better manage this transition. It should be noted that in order for this transition to be effective all derivations of the word "mother" - "mom", "momma", "mama", etc. should also be replaced with "inseminated person". Feel free to add your own:

Proposed usages pertaining to Inseminated Persons:

• Fairy God Inseminated Person (fairytale character)

• Inseminated Person of Pearl (an organic-inorganic compound from mollusk shells often used in buttons, musical instruments, and decorations)

• Inseminated Person Land (a reference to a country where one was born)

• Inseminated Person Earth (a romantic reference to the planet Earth)

• Inseminated Person Goose Rhymes (book)

• Necessity is the inseminated person of invention (expression)

• Inseminated Person Superior (nun in charge of a convent)…could be a problem here.

• Inseminated Person, May I? (children’s game)

• Inseminated Persons Day (a holiday honoring inseminated persons)

• The Inseminated Person of all bombs (also known as a Massive Ordnance Air Blast)

• I Remember Inseminated Person (film of a Norwegian family in early San Francisco)

• Throw Inseminated Person from the Train (comedy film with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal loosely based on Hitchcock’s “Strangers On A Train”)

• Inseminated Person Dearest (biography, exposé, and later film about Joan Crawford)

• That’s a big, Inseminated Person! (an expression of incredulity at the enormous size of a given object – like a rocket ship, a bomb, an aircraft, a skyscraper, a sports arena, a massive tree and only very rarely to be used as a direct reference to a morbidly obese inseminated person)