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(AP Newswire) The country and the world are still reeling from last night’s Presidential television address, which is quoted here in its entirety:
"My fellow Americans:
“Good evening. I would like to speak briefly about an issue that has caused great concern for years, and especially since the tragic events of last October 7.
“The pending conclusion of the war in Gaza has opened deep divisions among our citizens. Some on the political left advocate that we accept Gazan refugees as immigrants, and that the area’s reconstruction be financed through American foreign aid. Conversely, some on the right oppose Gazan immigration, and do not wish to provide any further foreign aid to the area.
“Similar divisions can be found on the international scene. Our Israeli friends do not wish to be responsible for Gaza, but need a non-hostile government to be established there. Our Arab friends also do not wish to take responsibility for Gaza, but strongly object to anything that could be characterized as an Israeli puppet government.
“I am therefore pleased to propose a solution that should be acceptable to all parties: Gaza will be admitted to the USA as the 51st state.
“My administration is already preparing measures to introduce all the typical benefits of statehood. For example, higher education will be improved through the establishment of a Gaza State University, which will even include varsity sports teams.
“More plans will be announced soon. Until then, good night America. And (smiling as he dons a GSU cap) Go Martyrs!”
Reactions in Congress from across the political spectrum have been surprisingly positive. For example, Representative Ilhan Omar (D–Minn.) has announced that she will establish legal residence in Gaza and seek to represent the new state in the US Senate.
On the right, the House Freedom Caucus has proposed legislation that would guarantee legal immunity for all students who have been arrested in antisemitic protests, provided that they accept a transfer – with full scholarship and paid transportation – to Gaza State University. No response has yet been received from organizations such as the Gender Queer Students for Palestine.
Discussion (8)
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HAHAHAHAHAHA
Great post, KCK!
MODERATOR
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Why not just move the Gaza population to Cuba and Venezuala?
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Now that I've learned your profile photo, you go and change it!
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The easiest "solution" is what the left often does, which is just to change its name. So it'll be the Far West. See? No more Middle East problem!
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Rather than move Gaza to Cuba/Venezuela, I'd prefer to move the populations of many college campuses and left-wing cities to Gaza.
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