Don’t Take it Personally

Lately I’ve been writing for another blog periodically, and had some success. Recently, however, I’ve had a couple of pieces turned down. It was disheartening and discouraging. I mean, I’ve been writing for a long time—what was I missing?

I realized that my initial reaction was due to my fragile ego: wasn’t I good enough? Or was my mind starting to go at 75 years old? Was I not focusing enough? Was I not creative enough?

After I stopped beating myself up, giving my ego time to recover and taking time to reflect on the refusals, I realized that I was receiving some very helpful and productive lessons.

First of all, I’m not perfect—imagine! I have good days and bad ones; I don’t pay as much attention to what I’m saying sometimes, and to how I’m organizing my work. In other words, I can get sloppy.

Second, I can’t assume that the editors, who are mostly very kind, will always appreciate what I have to say. And they get to decide what their readership wants to read—not me.

Third, the fact is that I am getting older. I have more limitations in my physical body and in my stamina. It wouldn’t be surprising if I started to miss a step intellectually. My husband would tell you that I’ve become more absent-minded, but then so has he; thank goodness we are back-ups for each other! I don’t know if my writing isn’t as good or as focused or as organized or as creative as it used to be, but that’s life unfolding.

What I do know is I can try to make sure that I’m rested and focused when I sit down to write. I need to check how invested I am in my topic, so that my commitment and passion show through.

I decided to write this post, partly for myself, but partly for those of you who write on Ricochet or are thinking about it. I’ve learned over the years that it’s nearly impossible to know if a post will get a lot of views or likes. But for the most part, I don’t think it’s “personal.” That doesn’t mean some people on the site don’t like me or my writing; I’m certain there are a few. And that’s fine! People can traverse Ricochet and look for their favorite writers, and ignore those that they don’t like. No one is keeping score. And if a post doesn’t get a lot of “likes,” that outcome is not necessarily a reflection on your writing. Or on you.

The beauty of Ricochet is that anyone can post here, whenever they want, and people can read your posts if and when they want. You may even have a conversation with them.

But if the response is small, keep one thing in mind:

Don’t take it personally. And keep writing.