Let’s Celebrate Masculinity!

I couldn’t help grinning as I watched Donald Trump enter the arena in New York for the UFC competition last night. The crowd roaring at his entrance and his retinue of Donald Trump, Jr., Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Tulsi Gabbard, Elon Musk and others was fascinating. You could smell the power and masculinity, and Trump grinned and waved to everyone. It was great fun to watch the joy and enthusiasm as he entered the room.

But after watching this wave of masculinity, I made the mistake of looking into the Left’s insistence on the dominance of toxic masculinity. I was enraged, especially at how they blame Trump for exacerbating the problem. I hadn’t investigated toxic masculinity in the past, and now that I have, I am heartbroken at how we have denigrated both men and boys in our times.

Quite frankly, my research claimed that if you are a man, you must suffer from toxic masculinity:

Toxic masculinity is the result of a set of strict rules that prescribe what being a man should be. These toxic "man rules" include:

1. A man should suffer physical and emotional pain in silence.
2. A man shouldn’t seek warmth, comfort, or tenderness.
3. A man should only have the emotions of bravery and anger. Any other emotions are weaknesses. Weakness is unacceptable.
4. A man shouldn’t depend on anyone. Asking for help is also weak.
5. A man should always want to win, whether in sports, work, relationships, or sex.

We don’t have to look far to see traces of toxic masculinity in many men. [Italics are mine]

Did you notice the description of “strict rules” and “what being a man should be”? In other words, we see these men everywhere in our own lives—and Donald Trump is the ultimate example:

The president-elect represents a particular type of masculinity: he is seen as brash and straight-talking, and can appear domineering or patronising around women – for example when he famously lurked behind Hillary Clinton during a debate in 2016. For some women who voted for him, this might be a familiar personality that they’ve seen in their fathers and husbands.

This statement makes me want to gag. Who thinks Trump is patronizing toward women, particularly his own wife, Melania? How often has he spoken about women with admiration? And did anyone see him “lurking” behind Hillary Clinton?

But Trump’s point about protecting women really drove some women over the edge:

This kind of ‘protective masculinity,’ and the idea that women need to be protected by men has had a resurgence in US society over the past few decades. This was identified by political scientist Iris Marion Young in the early eighties. ‘The stance of the male protector … is one of loving self-sacrifice, with those in the feminine position as the objects of love and guardianship,’ she wrote in a paper on the subject. ‘Chivalrous forms of masculinism express and enact concern for the wellbeing of women, but they do so within a structure of superiority and subordination.’

She almost got it right. Most women I know love the idea that men want to protect them; this motive suggests a special and intimate caring. But the admiration of women has nothing to do with the men being superior, except usually having superior strength. Nor do the men subordinate women when they take on this role. For some of us, chivalry has not died.

It's outrageous that we live in a time when all men are subject to intense societal criticism and negative judgment. That those who opine think they have the right to conflate healthy masculinity with toxic masculinity demonstrates that we continue to develop hatred and condescension of the opposite sex:

For men, Trump represents ‘hegemonic masculinity,’ the exalted position of men at the top. In this view, aggression, control and dominance are all admirable traits and highly socially valued.

To make this general statement about men is absurd and demeaning.

I look at the men selected by Trump to be in his administration, and I admire so many of them. Most of them speak with admiration about their wives; most of these women are accomplished in their own right.

We must find a way to reverse this general condemnation of manhood, hold bad actors accountable, and celebrate men and their relationships in the coming years.