Humble Brag or Just Brag? (107 Days by Kamala Harris, part 3)

My third and final post about Kamala Harris’ memoir, 107 Days. (Part 1 and Part 2)

No one (that I can think of) publishes a memoir to make himself look bad, but the trick is not being too obvious about trying to make yourself look good while also making your enemies look like idiots. A memoir is a way to “humble brag” at a professional level.

Straight-out bragging can make the braggart look like a fool. Even quoting someone else saying great things can be, well, awkward.

That’s why you won’t come across this passage in Winston Churchill’s The Gathering Storm: “Neville Chamberlain was over for tea, and he looked me in the eye and said, ‘Winston, old chap, we’ve had our differences, but I must say you are the most consequential figure of the 20th century.”

An actual brag is right out. Charlton Heston’s In the Arena doesn’t include a sentence like, “I knew that there was only one actor capable of conveying the strength, integrity and – let’s face it – the Mexican accent of Police Detective Mike Vargas. There’s only one me.”

This passage is not how C.S. Lewis concluded his memoir, Surprised by Joy: “And so I became a Christian. But not any old Christian, no. I was to be one of the leading Christian apologists and philosophers of our time. Please, buy my other books as well.”

Obviously, and thankfully, none of those passages is real. But for my final post on Kamala Harris’ 107 Days, I’d like to share some quotes that displayed extraordinary feats of braggadocio on the part of Harris (or one of her ghostwriters? Only her hairdresser knows for sure).

After Joe Biden dropped out of the race, here is the argument that Harris made for herself: “I knew I was the candidate in the strongest position to win. The most qualified and ready. The highest name recognition. A powerful donor base. And I also knew, as he (Biden) did, that I was the only person who would preserve his legacy. At this point, anyone else was bound to throw him -- and all the good he had achieved -- right under the bus.”

Just consider that phrase: “most qualified.” Surely there are more qualified Democrats? For instance, there’s...um. And, well, there’s gee. Hm. I guess there’s zombie Senator Patrick Moynihan?

Anyway, writing “I was the candidate in the strongest position to win” after you’ve lost sounds a little silly.

Harris seems to think that if only she had a little more time, things might have turned out in her favor. She writes, “My presence in front of the voters, either at a giant rally or a dozen small local radio stations, was the prime commodity of the campaign. If I could be everywhere, I would have been.” The real problem, Harris believes, is that the American people just didn’t get enough Harris.

I assume Harris was responsible for the words in About the Author: “Throughout her career, she has always fought for the only client she has ever had: the people.” She was never, ever, concerned about herself. It was always about “the people,”

She quotes others to make sure her readers understand how wonderful she is. When she announced her candidacy, other politicians, she reminds us, spoke out on her behalf.

Chuck Schumer: “I believe we will win with you at the head of the ticket.”

Josh Shapiro: ”I have a lot of Trump voters in my state. You have the ability to draw them away.”

Pete Buttigieg: “You’re going to be a fantastic president!”

(All of these statements proved to be so very wrong.)

Harris even brings the Secret Service to laud her. “The Secret Service assigns code names to its protectees. Mine, aptly, was Pioneer.”

She reminds us that CNN news anchor John King believed the world just hadn’t got enough Kamala Harris: “I just want to make an observation about your interview with the Vice President (Harris)… I think one of the greatest acts of political malpractice I have seen in my lifetime doing this is that they kept her under wraps for three years. Now she’s on the road, she has great appeal… She also has potential star power. And on issues like reproductive rights and in the Black community, she is a great asset to this team, and they have kept her under wraps.”

Harris quotes Obama speech writer Jon Favreau, "She looked and sounded more presidential than any candidate I’ve heard accept the nomination.” I guess inane cackling is “presidential” in some people’s books.

But the two most dazzling quotes in the book are made in reference to the choice of running mates.

Harris quotes Joe Biden, “Selecting Kamala (as vice president) was the best decision I made in my whole career.” To be fair, Joe Biden made a whole lot of bad decisions in his career. His vote for the Iraq war? His decision to support Obamacare? Biden’s putting forward the “Inflation Reduction Act”? Yes, there are many bad decisions Biden had to choose from, but surely, some time – perhaps when choosing the dessert for a state dinner – he made a better choice than choosing his VP.

Harris also writes about picking Tim Walz as her own VP nominee. She brought her decision to her husband Doug, who said, “Your gut is always right. Trust it.”

Her gut told her to pick Walz. Which really means she should never trust her gut ever again. If her gut tells her to have pizza, Harris should have sushi. If her gut tells her to put X in the corner of the Tic-Tac-Toe board, she should go for the center. If her gut ever tells her to run for elected office again, she should tell her gut to, well, the Code of Conduct prevents me from going further.

There is one last brag in the book that I’d like to mention, one that comes up repeatedly.

Harris talks about her punctuality, which she assures us is unheard of with politicians. She should have made this the heart of her campaign. “Vote Harris…She’s never late.”

Oh, what could have been.