October 8, 2025 at 10:05 AM

See Britain…Before It’s Gone (Caution: Satire Ahead)

@BrianWatt

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A Message from the British Tourism Office: The clock is ticking, and you’re not getting any younger. There’s no time like the present to visit Great Britain. Don’t be bothered when others tell you that Britain has transformed into some sort of Orwellian nightmare. This is simply tosh and hate speech. Though to ensure that your visit is uninterrupted and pleasant, please do refrain from saying anything on Facebook or X or Instagram or YouTube or any social media platform that hurts the feelings of anyone in Britain. Please also refrain from silently praying on sidewalks, especially near family planning clinics. Finally, please do refrain from displaying any jewelry or fashion that shows that you are Jewish or in sympathy with Judaism. Openly displaying the Star of David or wearing a yarmulke may get one arrested.

Now all that said, if you’re planning a visit to Britain, you should know that you still have the opportunity to view the great treasures of the realm - the wonderful paintings at the National Gallery, the treasures at the British Museum, the monuments, the sculptures, the Magna Carta, the great cathedrals - before they may be slashed, defaced, burned to the ground, destroyed and lost forever because the fossil fuel industry needs to die and Israel needs to be annihilated.

Concerned about hotel accommodations? Not to worry. There are still rooms available for you and your family. Please do ignore the rumors that other hotel occupants may be Middle Eastern men of military age and some skilled in bomb making or other questionable activities. Such concerns are completely unfounded. Parents with children, especially daughters who may or may not be too young to be married, are advised to monitor them closely at all times to maximize the enjoyment of their stay.

For those who may still be reticent in planning a trip to our Sceptered Isle, be assured that as we address the excesses of far-right agitators, a more stable and even more law-abiding Britain is on the horizon when Shariah becomes the law of the land and Palestinian flags wave proudly over St. Paul’s, the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, and on every street in the kingdom, replacing racist Union Jack and St. George banners that are emblematic vestiges of oppressive white imperialism.

We look forward to your visit. The British government sincerely hopes that you enjoy your stay as long as you behave. Peace be upon you. Allahu Akbar.

(Photo/illustration by the author. Yes, I have defaced one of my own photographs.)

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Brian Watt@BrianWatt1y

ReplyingtoFront Seat Cat

Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
I traveled extensively in Great Britain with my mother in my college days, and with my wife over the first several years of our marriage (in the 1980s into the 1990s). Our last visit was in about 2003. I was in Britain so much that the American Red Cross won’t let me donate blood any more, as they are afraid that I was there so long that I may carry “mad cow disease.”
As a lawyer, I have long appreciated the history embodied in the Anglo legal tradition out of which the American legal system grew.
When we were there, especially in London, we never worried about where we went on the bus or on the Tube. We figured we’d be physically safe. [We were never out late at night.] And in the countryside we had even fewer safety concerns. We rarely visited any of the “secondary” industrial cities, like Manchester.
A part of me would like to go back to Britain. But I have worried about what I read about the cultural and legal situation there, and whether it is safe to do so, especially in London.
[During the Obama and Biden administrations I also worried about whether the United States government would step up if I ran into trouble. At least I think the Trump administration will not abandon United States citizens the way the Obama and Biden administrations did.]
Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
I would truly like to read some travel posts here and see what’s what. This post portrays a very dark, Orwellian Britain – I imagine some parts may be true but I would hope that something of the traditional good parts are still there – anyone over there can report??

I've sent a letter to the British Tourism Office for clarification because I, too was shocked about what I read.

Discussion (57)

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Susan Quinn@SusanQuinn1y
Sounds like a wonderful adventure!! ;-(
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Full Size Tabby@FullSizeTabby1y
I traveled extensively in Great Britain with my mother in my college days, and with my wife over the first several years of our marriage (in the 1980s into the 1990s). Our last visit was in about 2003. I was in Britain so much that the American Red Cross won't let me donate blood any more, as they are afraid that I was there so long that I may carry "mad cow disease."
As a lawyer, I have long appreciated the history embodied in the Anglo legal tradition out of which the American legal system grew.
When we were there, especially in London, we never worried about where we went on the bus or on the Tube. We figured we'd be physically safe. [We were never out late at night.] And in the countryside we had even fewer safety concerns. We rarely visited any of the "secondary" industrial cities, like Manchester.
A part of me would like to go back to Britain. But I have worried about what I read about the cultural and legal situation there, and whether it is safe to do so, especially in London.
[During the Obama and Biden administrations I also worried about whether the United States government would step up if I ran into trouble. At least I think the Trump administration will not abandon United States citizens the way the Obama and Biden administrations did.]
To read this bio, please join Ricochet.
Front Seat Cat@FrontSeatCat1y
ReplyingtoFull Size Tabby
Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
I traveled extensively in Great Britain with my mother in my college days, and with my wife over the first several years of our marriage (in the 1980s into the 1990s). Our last visit was in about 2003. I was in Britain so much that the American Red Cross won’t let me donate blood any more, as they are afraid that I was there so long that I may carry “mad cow disease.”
As a lawyer, I have long appreciated the history embodied in the Anglo legal tradition out of which the American legal system grew.
When we were there, especially in London, we never worried about where we went on the bus or on the Tube. We figured we’d be physically safe. [We were never out late at night.] And in the countryside we had even fewer safety concerns. We rarely visited any of the “secondary” industrial cities, like Manchester.
A part of me would like to go back to Britain. But I have worried about what I read about the cultural and legal situation there, and whether it is safe to do so, especially in London.
[During the Obama and Biden administrations I also worried about whether the United States government would step up if I ran into trouble. At least I think the Trump administration will not abandon United States citizens the way the Obama and Biden administrations did.]
I would truly like to read some travel posts here and see what's what. This post portrays a very dark, Orwellian Britain - I imagine some parts may be true but I would hope that something of the traditional good parts are still there - anyone over there can report??
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Brian Watt@BrianWatt1y
ReplyingtoFront Seat Cat
Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
I traveled extensively in Great Britain with my mother in my college days, and with my wife over the first several years of our marriage (in the 1980s into the 1990s). Our last visit was in about 2003. I was in Britain so much that the American Red Cross won’t let me donate blood any more, as they are afraid that I was there so long that I may carry “mad cow disease.”
As a lawyer, I have long appreciated the history embodied in the Anglo legal tradition out of which the American legal system grew.
When we were there, especially in London, we never worried about where we went on the bus or on the Tube. We figured we’d be physically safe. [We were never out late at night.] And in the countryside we had even fewer safety concerns. We rarely visited any of the “secondary” industrial cities, like Manchester.
A part of me would like to go back to Britain. But I have worried about what I read about the cultural and legal situation there, and whether it is safe to do so, especially in London.
[During the Obama and Biden administrations I also worried about whether the United States government would step up if I ran into trouble. At least I think the Trump administration will not abandon United States citizens the way the Obama and Biden administrations did.]
Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
I would truly like to read some travel posts here and see what’s what. This post portrays a very dark, Orwellian Britain – I imagine some parts may be true but I would hope that something of the traditional good parts are still there – anyone over there can report??
I've sent a letter to the British Tourism Office for clarification because I, too was shocked about what I read.
To read this bio, please join Ricochet.
BeatFeet@user_4541531y
I wonder if there is a plan to get all the western civilization treasures out of Britian - and all the rest of Europe - before the Taliban takes control...

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