I Do See Color

When I recently saw that two black NFL coaches were asked about racism, I was curious to see how they responded. They not only had two different responses, at least superficially, but they triggered my thinking more about racism in my own life.

The coach who seemed to get the most media coverage was the new head coach of the New England Patriots, Jerod Mayo. The Patriots’ owner, Robert Kraft, downplayed hiring a black coach:

‘I'm really color blind,’ said Kraft. ‘I want to get the best people I can get. I chose the best head coach for this organization. He happens to be a man of color. But I chose him because I believe he's best to do the job.’

I suspect that many people may have doubted his sincerity, since the current narrative is that everyone is racist. But his reasoning made sense to me.

In contrast, Mayo appeared to give a conflicted answer:

However, Mayo spoke about race directly. ‘You better believe being the first Black head coach here in New England means a lot to me," Mayo said. ‘I do see color because I believe if you don't see color, you can't see racism.’ He added: ‘You have to take ideas from other people: Black, white, green, yellow…it really doesn't matter. Old, young. One thing you'll notice about me in our interaction as we continue to go is I don't like echo chambers. I want people around me that are going to question my ideas or question the way we have done things in the past…’ And finally, he added: . . . [he]went on to say that acknowledging race ‘does matter so we can try to fix the problem that we all know we have.’

On the one hand, he says he does see color, but then says that color doesn’t matter. He is new to NFL coaching, so I wonder if he’s conflicted about staying within the systemic racism view, but not wanting to appear racist.

In contrast to Mayo, Todd Bowles of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was interviewed:

‘I have a very good relationship with Tomlin [a black coach with the Steelers]. We don’t look at what color we are when we coach against each other; we just know each other,’ he said. ‘I have a lot of very good white friends that coach in this league as well, and I don’t think it’s a big deal as far as us coaching against each other, I think it’s normal. Wilks got an opportunity to do a good job, hopefully he does it. And we coach ball, we don’t look at color,’ Bowles added.

And then he called out the media for making a big deal out of blacks in professional sports:

He suggested that his and black coaches’ accomplishments are diminished when press dwell on the racial component. ‘Well, when you say, ‘They see you guys,’ and ‘look like them and grew up like them,’ it means that we’re oddballs to begin with. I think the minute you guys stop making a big deal about it, everybody else will as well,’ he said.

Clearly, Todd Bowles hasn’t fallen for the social demands of seeing racism everywhere. He doesn’t seem to see color when he’s coaching.

Or does he?

I started to think about my own relationship with racism, and the best example I can give is that I cross paths with many black people at our gym. And it would be stupid for me to say that I don’t see their color! There’s Ron, who is tall and lanky with a southern accent, who always greets me by name. And then there’s Caroline, who has radiant skin, who is shorter than I am (!), who always says hello and we never fail to exchange smiles. And finally, there’s Laurence Fishburne—well, sort of. He’s a big, towering guy with ebony skin and I swear he could have been Fishburne’s brother. I asked him if he was ever told he looked like Fishburne and he smile and said yes, and that he really wished he did look like him! (He’s quite a bit bigger than his doppelganger.)

We all greet each other with a smile. And just like I notice the color of their skin, they probably notice my rapidly wrinkling white skin, my short stature, and my grey hair.

Seeing these characteristics in each other is all part of our human experience, of spending time together, of occasionally chatting with each other (although I’m usually “all business” when I work out). But a sweet part of my experience is making eye contact with those people around me (whether they are black, Hispanic, Asian, or white). I’m not fond of exercise, but connecting with people more directly with a smile and a greeting makes the exercise process more enjoyable. Does their color dominate my perception of them? No. But it is part of the whole package of who they are.

If we can all insist on rejecting the intolerant narrative, we can connect with people and build better relationships. I have no idea how Ron, “Laurence” and Caroline feel about racism, but they know there’s one person who accepts them just as they are.