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You all can improve on these, but this is a start:
Tim Walz looks like Alan Hale Jr. the day he finally gave up on Slim-Fast.
Tim Walz is to the National Guard what Stu Sutcliffe was to The Beatles.
Tim Walz is the first friend to volunteer to help you out, but gives the least amount of help.
Tim Walz looks like a corrupt American president in a movie from Belarus.
Tim Walz is the senior citizen version of Matt “Down by the River” Foley.
Tim Walz is to Minnesota what CTE is to former football players.
Tim Walz is to Minnesota what a bleach stain is to a tuxedo.
Tim Walz sometimes fantasizes he is Ilhan Omar’s brother.
Tim Walz wants to put you behind the wheel of this AMC Pacer.
Tim Walz is the guy who told you the Scientology personality test was free, so why not?
Tim Walz isn’t 100% sure just what a tampon IS.
Tim Walz allowed the Minnesota riots because it allowed him to see black people up close.
Tim Walz allowed the Minnesota riots because they happened in “that” part of town.
Tim Walz’s wife liked the smell of burning tires because it made her feel like Winnie Mandela.
Tim Walz is to free speech as cats are to scurrying bugs.
Tim Walz likes a lot of Chinese things. Maybe the lunar calendar, cat meat, maybe foot binding. Who knows? I think he likes the idea of tanks running over counterrevolutionaries, but that’s just me.
Saw this passage in “Blood Red Sunset” by Ma Bo. It’s a memoir of the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Made me think of those Minnesota riots and all the other violence that goes unpunished. The rhyme of history.
Discussion (20)
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Tim Walz's wife chose 4 June for their wedding date to also remember the Tiannamen Square Massacre. There is something extremely wrong with her.
Tim Walz has a thing for traffic cones.
Tim Walz loves horses. I'm afraid to research this Twitter rumor.
Tim Walz was all too happy to make children wear rainbow colored T-shirts with letters that spelled his name and march in a parade.
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Tim Walz's governorship moved Jesse Ventura's administration up a rung.
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Walz is a good friend to pedophiles.
(He eliminated language inside MN law regarding civil rights, such that a sexual preference for minors is no longer a reason to discriminate against someone.)
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Could someone do something with "Walzing Minnesota (Matilda)"?
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That is a violent abuse of meter. I've seen poetic licenses revoked for less.
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