A Small Selection of Fruits and Nuts

Just My Luck: Friday evening, my daughter and I were taking a pleasant evening walk in one of our town's historic neighborhoods. We were pointing out our favorite houses and admiring the fall foliage when a light marmalade kitty came trotting down his walk and started rolling around near my daughter's feet, asking for petting. When he came over and visited me, rubbing against my ankles as I stroked him, I remarked, "At least he doesn't randomly attack us like our cat." I hardly got the words out of my mouth when quick as lightning, this animal grabbed me around the leg and struck the front of my shin with his teeth. It was just like our cat, but even harder and more determined--and more senseless. I was wearing good jeans and don't see any holes in them; however, it left four rather neat marks on my leg, slightly bleeding punctures evidencing a set of sharp incisors.

After the attack, the cat retreated to his yard for a few seconds and then started to follow us for more loves. But now all the enchantment was gone, and with my aching leg, I tried to quickly increase the distance between me and old Marmalade. If I didn't know any better, I'd think, What kind of sick game is this insane creature playing? More realistically, though, I wonder whether I inadvertently petted a sensitive spot. And judging by the frequency of aggressive feline episodes toward me versus toward my daughter, it's dawning on me that I might be stroking the animals with a little too much pressure. When I get too close to a tender location, they have no way to discern my motives or tell me what's wrong, so they go into quick defense mode. That's the best explanation I can come up with. As an epilogue, I did get back to my car and attend to my wounds with an alcohol wipe. I hope that's all the care they'll need.

Favorite Video Shorts: A few weeks ago, I went on about how video shorts are a superior form of entertainment. Here are some satisfying categories I love to watch:

--Makeovers, both of women and of vintage, repurposed fabrics.

--Weight loss journeys, of course as montages with musical accompaniment.

--Wild animals vs. civilization, whether it be front porches, safari jeeps, or swingsets.

--Animals showing awareness. For example, chimps or orangutans behaving as if they are startled and disturbed by a sleight-of-hand trick.

--Clever and hard to explain house pet behavior. Like the mother cat pulling her package of cat food out of the cupboard and trotting it back to her kittens, or golden retrievers pulling a cat out of a fight and carrying it back home.

--Utterances of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers (that are clearly uncoached). Like the baby who raised her hand and volunteered, "ME!" when her mother asked, "Who wants to stay at the Four Seasons Orlando?"

--Nostalgia for the 80s and 90s. These videos might consist of a series of photos of items like scrunchies and Trapper Keepers. Now that I'm jaded on those, I get into the TV nostalgia. I just watched one where the vlogger made it look like he was turning the dial on an old TV set and an old sitcom's opening theme started up--a sitcom our family hardly ever watched. But the video short almost gave me chills. I think the appeal of these nostalgia shorts is that we associate them with a time when our lives were relatively carefree--no bills, cozy nightly bedtime with no insomnia, no elections to vote in, meals regularly made for us by our moms, family TV watching, and our whole lives in front of us.

--Funny Skits. These are far more amusing than, say, 80s sitcoms.

Comments on Web Comments: YouTube comment sections have been transformed from cesspools where brain cells go to die. Now favorited remarks rise to the top, and there are examples of delicious wit. Savory responses appear on Amazon and under video shorts, and I think we Americans can be proud that not every keystroke on the Internet is a waste of energy. What should concern us, though, are the less bright observations made every time there are recorded instances of a probably-not-hungry predator being gentle with prey or some innovation in Japan or an EU country. You don't have to scroll comments long before you read things like: If only human beings took care of each other like animals do. This world would be a better place. Or, We should do this in the US. What stingy slobs we are here.

One of the Scandinavian countries, I forget which, sends a taxpayer-funded baby gift to every new mother. Many commenters believe this is a wonderful practice that should be exported to the States, snatching millions of US children from the jaws of poverty, ensuring they have diapers (and some kind of cardboard bassinet?) I remember my three baby showers for my first baby, the big garbage bags of gently used clothing passed on to me, and the gifts from excited family members. A baby box from the government would have been a bit superfluous. Of course, not every expectant American mother gets three baby showers, or any at all, but I think between family, friends, and church, most Americans can shift for themselves when it comes to supplies for a newborn.

Decorative Timepieces: As YouTube comments are getting wittier, the number of accurate wall clocks is shrinking. Since we mostly reference our phones to get the time, we don't need big clocks anymore. I alone, it seems, miss the ability to orient myself as to the time of day just by swiveling my head to catch a microwave readout or glancing up at a large digital timepiece in an airport. Now the clocks have either been taken down, or they're all wrong--no one bothered to reset them after the last electrical outage. I was in a vacation apartment once where the walls were plastered with clocks, and it finally dawned on me, after some subconscious confusion, that every one of them was wrong. The idea conveyed was that one was on vacation, and there was no need to pay attention to the time. However, I was not on vacation and longed for a good clock that was actually running.

The lack of accurate clocks might reflect a degree of laziness, too. I have a bathroom clock I can check while applying makeup in front of the mirror (useful for those of us who tend to scamper out the door just on time). This thing has been an hour behind since the last Spring Forward. I just don't seem to have the energy to take it down, move the hands, and put it back up. So I just add an hour to whatever time is displayed. When I contemplate changing it, I might think, "Well, the next time change is just around the corner, in three months. I can hang in there." Yeah, three months. That's ninety days of adding an hour every time I glance up at the time. What's harder, taking thirty seconds to spin the dial in the back, perhaps struggling for thirty seconds more to get the clock to hang straight on the nail? Or doing math seven times a day?