Kevin Wilson’s Nothing to See Here: The Perils and Rewards of Raising Children

Language warning: There are a couple of f-bombs in the quotes, but I wanted to provide an honest feel for Kevin Wilson's writing style. That said, this is one of the most rewarding and inspiring books I've read in a long time.

The English Department at the school where I teach has a "Writer In Residence" every year: an author who spends 3 - 4 days guest teaching English classes and then speaking to the upper school students at an assembly. This year's writer was Kevin Wilson, a literature professor at the University of the South in Sewanee, TN, and author of several bestsellers, including The Family Fang and Baby, You're Gonna Be Mine.

In his talk at the assembly, Wilson spoke about his terror of public speaking and how difficult his adolescence was due to his having Tourette's Syndrome and social awkwardness. However, he managed to turn these personal obstacles into one of the most entertaining and inspiring speeches I've ever heard. He had everyone in the auditorium laughing hysterically one moment and wiping away tears the next. When I got home, I told my wife about how great Wilson was, and she said she thought she had recently bought a book of his. Sure enough, she had Nothing to See Here in her stack of books to read. She had picked it up on the recommendation of her brother, who raved about Wilson.

This is a long way of explaining how I ended up reading (and loving) a book I probably never would have been aware of. Readers of my book reviews have probably figured out that my tastes lean to nonfiction (history, science and technology), mysteries, and classics (especially Victorian literature). I am grateful that a confluence of events led me to Kevin Wilson's work.

Nothing to See Here is told through the eyes of Lillian Breaker, a young woman who is a cashier at a small-town grocery store in Tennessee. She is quite bright, but due to several circumstances beyond her control, she is at loose ends - living in her mother's attic, smoking pot, and generally wasting her life. Her mother doesn't really care about Lillian, busy instead entertaining a succession of boyfriends, and living from paycheck to paycheck.

When Lillian was a teenager, she showed so much promise at her public high school that she was given a scholarship to Iron Mountain Girls Preparatory School, an exclusive boarding school. Her roommate is Madison Billings: beautiful, rich, and basically perfect. Despite their different backgrounds, they become best friends, both playing on the varsity basketball team and enjoying each other's "weirdness," which is apparent the very first time they meet:

"What do you want to be?" she asked me.

"I don't know. Jesus, I don't know," I said. I thought Madison was going to kiss me.

"My parents want me to get amazing grades and go to Vanderbilt and then marry some university president and have beautiful babies. My dad was so specific. We'd love it if you married a university president. But I'm not doing that."

"Why not?" I said. If the university president was sexy, I'd jump right into the life Madison's parents imagined for her.

"I want to be powerful. I want to be the person who makes big things happen, where people owe me so many favors that they can never pay me back. I want to be so important that if I [REDACTED] up, I'll never get punished."

She looked psychotic as she said this; I wanted to make out with her. She flipped her hair in such a way that it could only have been instinctual, evolution. "I feel like I can tell you this."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're poor, right? But you're here. You want power too."

"I just want to go to college, to get out of here," I said, but I felt maybe she was right. I'd learn to want all that stuff she said. I could go for power.

"I think we'll be friends," she said. "I hope so, at least."
(page 9)

It all falls apart, though, when Madison is caught with some drugs in their dorm room. Madison's father soon arrives and arranges to pay Lillian's mother $10,000 if Lillian will take the fall for Madison. Lillian does, she gets kicked out of Iron Mountain, her mom cashes the check without saving any of it for her education, and Lillian's personal reputation is ruined. Ironically, Madison ends up owing Lillian a huge favor, but she never acknowledges it.

In the years to come, Lillian and Madison regularly exchange letters, but neither one ever refers to the sacrifice Lillian made on Madison's behalf. Then, Lillian gets a message from Madison asking her to visit her at her estate in Franklin, TN. She has a job offer for Lillian. Madison has married a US senator, Jasper Roberts, who is being considered for Secretary of State. He has two ten-year-old twin children, Bessie and Roland, from a previous marriage. Their mother committed suicide, and they are staying with their grandparents. Jasper wants them to live with him, Madison, and their five-year-old son, Timothy, so that he will appear to be a wholesome family man as he is vetted for Secretary of State.

The only problem is that Bessie and Roland spontaneously combust when they get upset or anxious. Their arms and legs start emitting flames that don't hurt or consume them, but can catch anything around them on fire. Madison wants Lillian to be their "governess" (which sounds classier than "nanny"):

"This is weird, Madison. You want me to raise your husband's fire children."

"Don't call them 'fire children'. Don't even joke about it. We can't really talk about it. The doctors have been very discreet, thanks to Jasper's connections, and they're not going to say anything, but we have to get a handle on the situation so we can figure out how to solve this problem."

This was Madison, campaign manager. She looked at the children setting my [REDACTED] hair on fire, these naked fire starters, and she saw only a problem that could be solved with a press release or a photo op.
(page 32)

After some consideration, Lillian agrees to take the job, and she and the twins are quickly installed in the estate's pool house. Understandably, Bessie and Roland spend a lot of time in the swimming pool. What follows is a wonderful story of how Lillian - who has no experience as a parent and never really had one growing up - learns how to build trust with two children who have been isolated and shunted from one caregiver to another. It's also full of laugh-out-loud scenes that any parent can relate to. While Bessie and Roland have a physical manifestation of their anxiety and the damage it can cause, every mother and father of small children has been in situations where the dread of causing an embarrassing scene in public is the overwhelming emotion.

Lillian, Bessie, and Roland gradually become a real family, while all Madison and Jasper can think about is how to "manage" their image. Madison never quits in her quest for power, eliminating anyone who threatens to thwart her. There is a pivotal scene when Bessie and Roland begin to bond with Lillian through her coaching them in basketball basics. They are proud of their learning to dribble and shoot free throws. One evening, Madison shows up to watch them practice, and she challenges Lillian to a one-on-one game. When Lillian is about to beat her, she viciously elbows her in the eye and ends up winning the game.

While rich and beautiful people like Madison live different lives from the vast majority of us, she and Jasper are forced to confront their shallowness and selfishness. Nothing to See Here ends with Lillian looking forward to a far more rewarding life than Sen. Roberts and his manufactured image of a perfect family will ever have.

Nothing to See Here is a delightful tale of how, no matter how ill-equipped we all feel when facing parenthood, unconditional love, setting rules, and being consistent are all that's required. Like Wilson's talk at my school, you will laugh hysterically one moment, and wipe away a tear the next.