‘Nurse, Sterile Spatula, Please’

Back in the last century while staffing a mock MASH in on-base war games, I recall an excited young lieutenant rush in shouting, "I have a man who has been run over by a tank!"

The surgeon stuck with being the duty officer in this mock facility stared at this man for a few seconds, then raised his hands in a pose as if he just scrubbed in for surgery and said, "nurse, sterile spatula, please." I loved that guy. Dark, dry wits are especially treasured in the military. (The patient had not been "run over" but knocked to one side by a collision with a front tread cover of a poorly driven tank. He was largely unharmed.)

I am reminded of that remark every time I see images of idiots gluing themselves to pavement to disrupt the lives of others. Big, sharp, sterile spatulas should be standard police issue as in the case of these a__hat pro-terrorist demonstrators who tried to block the Macy's Thanksgiving parade by gluing themselves to 6th Avenue.

Video clip here: https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1727707167438835712/pu/vid/avc1/480x270/MtPOYtuWsg3vzMIN.mp4?tag=12