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How to Support Your Jewish Friends in These Tough Times

Susan Quinn
@SusanQuinn
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As anti-Semitic incidents continue to add up, and I worry about how my Jewish friends are doing, I’ve been wondering what our gentile friends might be able to do to help us. I suspect that most of my gentile friends already know what would be meaningful and helpful to me, but perhaps some of you out there wonder if there is something you can do to reassure and comfort other Jews in your life. I assume that most of my Jewish friends are not in panic mode, but I suspect that their feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty about the state of the country might be in the background. So, if any of you are wondering what you can do or say to encourage us, I thought I would suggest what steps you might take. (Please note that this post is not a hint to my friends at Ricochet; most of you, in one way or another, have offered wonderful support.)

First, I would not try to pretend that nothing is different. With Israel and Hamas still in the headlines, the anti-Semitic campus protests, and most recently the killings in Washington, DC and terrorist attacks in Boulder, CO, the hatred is hard to ignore. When these events occur, I don’t think you need to make a big deal of it; just a few words to let a Jewish friend know that you are sad and that you care about him/her in your own words would suffice.

On the other hand, if you run into denial—the Jewish person thinks it will all pass over—I would not argue. Denial is the way some people cope with difficulty. Rather than argue with the person, acknowledge you both feel differently, and it is what it is.

Second, invite the person to talk about the state of affairs if he or she wishes to do so. If the person declines your offer, let it go with a smile. You might add that the offer doesn’t have an expiration date; she might be interested in talking at another time.

Third, if there’s some aspect of these events that are unclear to you—either details of the occurrences or the reasons behind them—you can ask the person to explain some aspect. He may not be able or willing to clarify the situation, but the two of you might have discovered a rich area of conversation.

I’m blessed to have special Jewish and gentile friends in my life. But there are many Jews who don’t interact with other Jews with whom they can commiserate, or gentile friends they are close to, and they just might welcome your offer of comfort.

Give it some thought.

This post was promoted to the Main Feed at the recommendation of Ricochet's members.

Discussion (18)

  • DonG (¡Afuera!)@DonG
    Susan Quinn (View Post):
    On the other hand, if you run into denial—the Jewish person thinks it will all pass over—I would not argue. Denial is the way some people cope with difficulty. Rather than argue with the person, acknowledge you both feel differently, and it is what it is.

    Perhaps try to agree on a bigger point that increasing Leftist/Marxist violence is growing. From those saying "looting is reparations" to denying medical care for the unvaccinated to the assassination attempts on Trump to the killing of Jews in our streets--the Left promotes violence and evil.

  • Susan Quinn@SusanQuinn
    ReplyingtoDonG (¡Afuera!)

    DonG (¡Afuera!) (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Post):

    Susan Quinn (View Post):
    On the other hand, if you run into denial—the Jewish person thinks it will all pass over—I would not argue. Denial is the way some people cope with difficulty. Rather than argue with the person, acknowledge you both feel differently, and it is what it is.

    Perhaps try to agree on a bigger point that increasing Leftist/Marxist violence is growing. From those saying “looting is reparations” to denying medical care for the unvaccinated to the assassination attempts on Trump to the killing of Jews in our streets–the Left promotes violence and evil.

    I think pointing out the larger context is great. Not comparing them but explaining all the other serious incidents. Thanks, Don.

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