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Heading back to the US for a week, so I am trying to do the “stay up all night so I can sleep on the plane" gambit. It will be nice to see Oklahoma at this special time of year, with the hurricane winds from the north, falling ice and other seasonal extras.
Once again with a feeling, a poor man’s homage to the old Larry King USA Today columns:
I read a story recently about the possible exhumation of the body of a notorious killer. Remains to be seen.
“Old Black Water” by the Doobie Brothers is a “Bohemian Rhapsody” for rednecks.
When podcasts or TV shows do a “year in review” episode, it’s their kind way of telling me not to bother.
I have lived this long and have never had the opportunity to shoot my cuffs.
Few politicians are skilled at retail politics. Most politicians excel at shoplifting politics.
In the future, when no effort is given, will we say, “He DM’d it in”?
Never let a non-Christian buy your Christmas tree.
A woman in England slept with 100 men in one day. Anyone who does the same will also likely go viral, one way or the other.
Have you noticed that Larry Bird and Bill Clinton seem to be merging into one being?
The worst song on the album is often the longest.
People are often dumbfounded by events. Few of us are ever smartfounded.
When you buy a food that is reportedly the #1 brand in its country of origin, rest assured if you meet someone from that country, they will have never heard of it.
If someone in a movie coughs, their character has a terminal illness.
Nuclear war is a terrifying prospect, but a nuclear exchange sounds downright civilized.
The wait time for help is ALWAYS longer than usual.
What if aliens are only advanced in space travel, and need help with things such as general hygiene, learning a trade and the economics of coupon clipping?
Most reaction videos are just bad acting.
People talk about rats leaving a sinking ship like it’s shameful. Hey man, rats wanna live too.
The state flower of Oklahoma is mistletoe, a parasite.
In Oklahoma, we refer to the cat, the car and the team as “Jagwires.”
Can we indict other sandwiches than ham?
The cranial pressure has returned to normal. Got most of it out of my system. Looking forward to seeing the USA for a few days. Hope y’all remembered to water the plants.
Discussion (32)
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You're in top form today, Troutman. I'm not cancelling my subscription after all again.
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Point of order - the song title is "Black Water", and the lyric is "oh black water,", not "old black water".
Ever since I learned about the concept of "Chekov's Gun", foreshadowing has gotten a LOT more obvious to me in movies and TV shows.
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Extremely witty and sadly soooooooo true!
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Yes! You are experiencing longer than usual wait times? Really?? If the usual wait times are the norm then, how is it that I have never hit them?? Have you ever thought of hiring more operators?
Also, I will listen carefully whether your menu options have recently changed or not. But I wonder, how often do you change them?? You tell me this every time I call! And why do you think I would listen carelessly if they were still the same as last time?
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Time to start dressing better.
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