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Okay, that's not entirely correct. He's responsible for my busted knee. No, that's not correct either. He's responsible for finally winning the Masters, which caused me to do something stupid, which in turn, resulted in me busting my knee.
Perhaps I should explain.
In the final round of the Masters, Rory McIlroy (one of my favorites) started the final round tied for the lead with Bryson DeChambeau at -10. DeChambeau faded during the round as McIlroy increased his lead to -14. Meanwhile, Justin Rose steadily climbed up the leaderboard. Now at -14 after hole 10, McIlroy was poised for an epic choke, as he did in the 2011 Masters (the one in which I attended the Friday round with middle daughter). The 2025 final round ended with McIlroy and Rose tied. As it turned out, McIlroy didn't choke in the first hole of sudden death, winning with a sweet birdie putt. He did it! He finally did it!
And that's when Stad got stupid.
I was so thrilled McIlroy finally won the Masters that I raced to the bathroom for a quick use before returning to watch the ensuing celebration. As I rushed out of the john, my right shoulder clipped the door frame, twisting me so that I fell sideways into the opposite wall. I bounced back into the bathroom, and as I tumbled through the door, flame on my way to the floor, my left knee hit the door frame - hard. My right foot got a slight twist as I thudded to the deck.
"Need help?" neutral observer asked as she found me sprawled on the bathroom floor.
"No, thanks," I replied.
I managed to get up, but I could already feel the knee beginning to swell, so I carefully made my way upstairs and got ready for bed early. Sure enough, the next morning, I discovered I needed our walker to get around. I used the walker all day Monday, then went to a cane on Tuesday. On Thursday, I could start using the cane less and less. After a full week, I could walk without the cane and drive my car, but I still kept the cane handy in case I sat somewhere and had a hard time getting up. Being older now, it will take a lot longer to fully recover.
In fact, both of us have fallen so many times this year, we're thinking of renaming this Spring as our "Fall" season.
Anyway, we're also thinking of bubble-wrapping our entire house. Safety first, you know . . .
Discussion (39)
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Bubble wrap yourself. That way you're still safe if you go out.
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Also, get well soon.
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Don't admit to that if you're ever hospitalized for any reason. That'll initiate a protocol that will keep you confined to bed except for strictly monitored occasions, such as going to the bathroom, where you'll be required to sit on the stool.
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He ain’t lying. Stad, be careful, man. Neutral Observer, make sure the life insurance is paid up. 😉
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Also, watch out for the phone calls from the contracted outliers, partnered with and lurking around, the periphery of your health insurance company, who phone you up (ad nauseam, in my experience), always starting out by making it sound as if they're actually from your insurer, but who--on further direct questioning--are found not to be so. They're the ones who'll start asking you--among much else--if you have throw rugs on your floors; how high your bed is from the floor; if you have rails in the shower and non-skid mats on the shower and bathtub floor; if you have adequate banisters on your stairs (or if you even have stairs--or even just the challenge of any steps at all in your daily life); if there are any open fireplaces or flames in your home; and--yes--how many times you've fallen in the last six months. Triggering them with a thoughtless answer to any of these questions results in interminable and inconvenient interference from the parties concerned, and visits, installations, and alterations to your way of life which may just affect your satisfaction with the way of life you thought would be yours for the duration.
I--fortunately--learned this through an elderly family member who didn't spot the consequences, before I became a target myself. Therefore, I participate as little as possible in such games.
Last time I went to the doctors for my annual (at "no cost" to me, HaHa) "Medicare" checkup, I was presented with a multi-page questionnaire designed to elicit disturbing (for them) responses to the above questions and more. Fortunately, "decline to answer" was one of the options, so we'll see where invoking that gets me going forward.
All other things being equal, I'd rather rely on a friend or family member to let me know when I might be falling behind or failing, than some bloody computer algorithm designed to enrich either the insurance company or its friends by overtaking my life and making me essentially a prisoner in my own home.
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