Celebrating Manhood

I just re-read Shane, by Jack Schaefer. I started reading it to our 10-year-old son. He might still be a bit young for it, his attention soon turned to the Fellowship of the Ring (not that I mind that). So I finished the story myself.

When I first read it in sixth grade I remember being captivated by the action and as fascinated in the character of Shane as the novel's narrator, young Bob. Now, 30 years later, I see deeper into the story. I see the interactions between all the adults. I see the love that binds Shane to the Starretts and they to him. Most of all, I see a story about manhood.

In today’s anti-man society, it has become difficult to define what is a man. Once upon a time, a man was someone who was the head of a family, provided for them and protected them and his country. Such ideas are now regarded as “toxic.”

We see many samples of adult boys in society these days. We hear that fewer males are graduating college than females, we read of 30-year-old boys living in their parents basement and playing non-stop video games. We see girls get mastectomies and insist they are men. And we see castrated boys dominating in women’s athletics, insisting they are just better women. And sadly, we see males reacting to the anti-man climate by engaging in and promoting the worst of human behavior, making deeply flawed claims about what it means to be “manly.” We see too few true men out there.

As I read Shane, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from another of my favorite books, North and South; Elizabeth Gaskell’s story of industrial England (not to be confused with a certain miniseries about the American Civil War.) In one chapter, Margaret, the heroine, and John Thornton, the mill-owner, are discussing the terms “man” and “gentleman.” Thornton expresses his contempt for the term “gentleman” by saying, “A man is to me a higher and a completer being than a gentleman….I take it that ‘gentleman’ is a term that only describes a person in his relation to others; but when we speak of him as ‘a man,’ we consider him not merely with regard to his fellow-men, but in relation to himself,—to life—to time—to eternity. A cast-away lonely as Robinson Crusoe—a prisoner immured in a dungeon for life—nay, even a saint in Patmos, has his endurance, his strength, his faith, best described by being spoken of as ‘a man.’”

In Shane, the reader meets two men: Joe Starrett, whom Shane describes as “the only real man in this valley,” and Shane himself. Both men arrived at manhood by a different path. Joe grew “straight inside as a man should.” Shane came to manhood by way of poor choices and the bitter realization of the consequences. But by the time he meets the Starrett family, he and Joe are the same. Shane is described by multiple characters as dangerous. But Joe insists to his wife, Marian, “I don’t think you ever had a safer man in your house.”

Shane is both. His past experiences and honed skills make him dangerous, even deadly, to anyone he chooses to target. But his love for truth and honor make him safe to all the Starretts and their neighbors.

Shane is dangerous in another way. For that matter, so is Joe. When a true man sets out to fight for right, truth, and honor, the only way to stop him is to kill him. I suspect that is why men are so maligned now—people are afraid of them and of what they can do.

A true man is motivated by love. Joe and Shane demonstrate this. Everything they do is out of love—for each other, for Marian and Bob, for their neighbors, for the land, for freedom, for truth and right and honor. Love is the only true motivator, the only one that endures—not the flimsy, cheesy, dewy-eyed infatuation portrayed so often in Hallmark movies and insipid songs—but deep, abiding, undiluted love.

If you have a son and are wondering how to teach him to grow up to be a man, have him read Shane. Then encourage him to read it every ten years. It will teach him all you want him to know and be.