IPCC: Apocalyptic Climate Scenarios ‘Implausible’

Let me talk for just a minute about something that very few people on earth still care about: climate change. But wait a minute... I can sense your eyes starting to glaze over, and you’re already looking to click elsewhere. And I don’t blame you... There’s good news. Climate delusion, at least in extremis, may finally, possibly, be drawing to an end, or at least the beginning of the end. Or at the very least, the end of the beginning.

Actually, who am I kidding? It will probably never totally end, leftist environmental authoritarianism being what it is. But the good news is this: The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the United Nations committee that assesses the science of climate change, has now eliminated the most extreme scenarios that have dominated climate research for decades and termed those selfsame scenarios “implausible.” Which means they are admitting that those endlessly predicted apocalyptic scenarios about planetary and civilizational destruction ain’t gonna happen.

Hallelujah! (And drill, baby, drill!)

Now, just to be clear, the IPCC still fully believes in anthropogenic climate change and the need for something to be done. It’s just dropping the most outlandish, bug-eyed prognostications, thereby reducing the urgency and extremeness of potential action. Not that anybody even cares anymore. As we’ve seen over the decades, you can only cry wolf so many times before the masses start ignoring you. Which means there’s an expiration date on how long you can keep predicting the melting of the North Pole, the extinction of the polar bears and the near disappearance of a substance called “snow,” at least anywhere south of Deadhorse, Alaska.

The UN itself gave us ten years in the late 1980s to avoid catastrophe. (That didn’t age well.) Since then, predictions of doom, mostly by left-wing nitwits, have been a dime a dozen. Hollywood celebrities have been especially susceptible to climate alarmism. Ted Danson was one of the early ones with his “countdown to doom.” There have been countless others.

And then there are the politicians, of course. Former bartender, AOC, in her typical revolutionary Marxist fervor, gave us 12 years in 2019. The entire Democrat Party, for that matter, has been cuckoo for climate change for decades. And all of Western civilization has been afflicted. In 2009, Prince Charles was reported saying the planet had “96 months” to avoid “irretrievable climate and ecosystem collapse.” In 2014, French foreign minister Laurent Fabius upped the ante, declaring, “We have 500 days to avoid climate chaos.” Just imagine. We’re down to days, not years!

Oh—I almost forgot one of the biggest climate hustlers of all time: Al “do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do” Gore, whose personal carbon footprint is larger than that of Togo. His 2006 crockumentary, An Inconvenient Truth, which was a wearisome celluloid presentation of his traveling, climate-scare slideshow, won two Oscars.

So far I can’t find any public statement from Gore about the IPCC’s “implausible” comments. But only a few weeks ago, he was still wearing his climatological fright wig, though he’s seesawed from hot to cold now. Well, actually, he’s still about the hot, but the hot is going to lead to the cold. Er...that is...

It’s complicated, but let’s try to follow him: When the Greenland ice shelf melts (barring drastic global action), that will in turn shut down the Gulf Stream in the Atlantic, which will then bring on an ice age. See? His current deadline for that catastrophe is a convenient 25 years from now, when he will no longer be around to be ridiculed when it doesn’t happen. Because if we can say anything with utter certainty, it is that there will not be an ice age in 25 short years (barring an asteroid strike), nor likely in any foreseeable future other than on a geological time scale.

In the meantime, Gore will live in his sprawling mansion and fly private to his heart’s content without a scintilla of self-awareness or shame. And the earth’s population will issue a huge, gaping, collective yawn over any further climate prophecies that might issue forth from this fatuous blowhard.

You may have recently heard about the passing of Ted Turner, a hardcore climate nut if there ever was one. In a 2008 interview with Charlie Rose, he described what has to be the knee-slappingest, craziest climate catastrophe prediction I’ve ever heard:

“We’ll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be CANNIBALS [emphasis mine]. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.”

Wow. You really have to hand it to the guy—go big or go home. Not sure if the IPCC was ever down with that particular scenario, but I’m pretty sure they would now deem that “implausible.” For his part, Rose sat through those lunatic musings as impassively as he might have if Ted had been describing his breakfast that morning. There was no, Well, hold on there, Ted! Isn’t that a bit extreme? It was just, Okay, sure, whatever you say.

In any case, if you think that one single climate kook anywhere on this supposedly doomed planet will be deterred by the IPCC’s “implausibility” admission... Well, I’ve got a bridge to nowhere I’d like to sell you. There is simply no cure for the various Marxist delusions, of which this is one, once they have fully inhabited a host body and mind. And why do I call climate nuttery a Marxist delusion? Because the supposed solutions for climate change would require authoritarian government and would completely overturn the world economic order. An end all good Marxists want.

I asked an AI search engine to take a quick look at how hardcore climate catastrophe-believing organizations are reacting to the IPCC’s report. It summarized the reactions of various groups and then delivered this bottom line: “Hardline groups did not dial back alarm — many intensified protest rhetoric or dismissed the clarification as irrelevant — while most scientists and mainstream campaigners treated the IPCC wording as a technical correction that should not reduce urgency.”

So there you have it. For most, it will still be business as usual. It will either be net zero carbon... or cannibalism. Choose wisely!