He’s My Left- and Right-Hand Guy

Lately I’ve been grumbling about some health issues that have shown up; most recently, I had to schedule a colonoscopy with its annoying prep requirements as part of a diagnostic process. I realized, though, that I had the perfect remedy for managing the process: my go-to guy, my husband.

Jerry is one of those people who just loves to do things for others, particularly for me. When I was going through chemotherapy, he not only helped me organize all the pills I had to take, but kept me on schedule; I could tell that he found it especially satisfying that he could do something to help me through the process. He also monitored the liquid that I was excreting from my mastectomy and was precisely listing the amounts. It really is the perfect job for an engineer!

You have to understand that he doesn’t just step in for special circumstances. He does the laundry and folds it much better than I could; he almost always makes dinner and sometimes lets me be his sous chef. (I usually stay out of the way, because we have different ideas for how prep should be done.) I think his efforts are a way of expressing his love for me, and you can be sure that I frequently reciprocate and let him know how grateful I am.

Although the process to prep for a colonoscopy is not difficult, it is tedious. While I have other diagnoses I’m concerned about, I just felt I didn’t need one more obligation. Jerry stepped in, of course, and will manage the doses. The ugly part I’ll have to complete on my own.

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a helpful, caring man. That’s not to say that he doesn’t goof up, but most of his errors are minor and easy to just let go of. Since he has bronchiectasis, which requires him to go through periods of coughing (and he has a very loud cough), I’ve learned that it’s my job to be patient and encouraging when he has these bouts. A long time ago I sensed that he feared I would become so annoyed that I would just give up. I’d leave. I assured him that he wasn’t going to get rid of me that easily, that I was around for the long term. That’s what 51 years gets you.

Love helps us help each other and keep our promises.