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I think I first saw a coin-operated Space Invaders game machine at a K.O.A. Campground we stopped at on our way to the 1982 World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. Finally, we could live our dream of destroying an invading alien force. At the time, the graphics were unbelievable, and the electronic beeps, blurbs and booms of video games were a symphony for kids.
We had the beeps in our hands a few years earlier, in middle school, when those handheld electronic sports games came out. Remember how each player was represented by a little red dash of light? I got a hockey one for my birthday. I think it took two AA batteries, and it bleeped simple bleeps. No special alien beeps, just terrestrial sports beeps. It was only half-rink hockey, but it was fun and habit-forming, as handheld things are.
"Leave a message at the beep.” The beep was a useful marker of that time, especially if you didn’t carry a pager, which we called a beeper. They buzzed or beeped, beeped or buzzed. I’m not sure. (I had to carry one at a job for a couple of days, but I kept it turned off. In those days, you always had plausible deniability about receiving messages.)
When I finally grew up, I realized I don’t need those beeps, but they are everywhere. So, I’m doing what I can. I’ve turned off every sound on my phone. It doesn’t make a sound when it rings. (I even turned off the haptics because I hate the way they feel.)
But each door to my house has an electronic lock, requiring 8(!) AA batteries. The lock beeps as you enter the code, it plays a little melody as you open the door, and plays another when the door closes, and yet ANOTHER if the door doesn’t close properly. Oh, and if you prop the door open to bring stuff inside, it will play a periodic jingle to taunt you let you know you really should shut that door.
The Samsung washing machine plays a beeping melody to let me know it has finished. The dryer plays a twenty-second (!) melody of a song I can almost remember to let me know it has finished. What did we do before such beeping miracles? Oh, right. We CHECKED on things.
The fridge is open! Beep! Turn on the dehumidifier. Beep. Electric fan. Beep. There’s even a beep to let you know you have successfully begun the one-step toilet flushing process.
I can live well without the beeps. Who invented the beep anyway? A busybody, no doubt.
Ray Davies of The Kinks sang a long time ago something to the effect that photography was our way of proving our existence. I guess the omnipresent beeping is evidence of man’s need for reassurance.
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Of course. We had the Mattel Football game - a revived version of which now sells on Amazon for $82. Not a refurbished model. A new one. Eighty-two dollars.
My oven sings a song when it hits the required temperature, and it's close to the first few bars of "Dixie." The LG washer/drier have their own repertoire. I don't mind at all. My car sighs a happy two-note welcome when I get in, and it's hard not to say good morning to you too, darlin'.
My phone has custom sounds. A call from the office says "The Minneapolis Star and Tribune" from a 1940s Jam Handy industrial. My friend who used to work at the local airline gets the "Northwest Orient" jingle, complete with gong. Daughter has a lovely bird-like lilting melody from the CBS 1950s radio-cue library. Everyone else gets the Jetsons doorbell.
My Dad got the Texaco jingle about the man who wears the star. I'd give anything to hear that ring again.
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