The Smerjack Test

You’d think if any two things have become common enough to warrant not being commented on at all, it would be celebrity product endorsements and lame puns. Yet, this weekend, several of the more excitable parts of the left-wing internet were up in arms about an ad for American Eagle jeans wherein Sydney Sweeney makes a pun on having good genes. According to the New York Post, some TikTokers decried the ad’s “racist undertones” and even compared it to Nazi propaganda.

If you really are concerned about a Nazi resurgence, this is exactly the wrong way to stop it. As the living memory of World War II fades, turning the Nazis into cartoon characters or punching bags for TikTokers with too much time on their hands will only obscure their evil nature. Nazi Germany isn’t deservedly considered one of the most evil regimes in history because they liked cute actresses posing in denim.

To this end, I propose a test. Whenever you are tempted to use the word “Nazi,” substitute the word “smerjack,” or “ishbooxy,” or “rhoimp,” or any other nonsense word you can think of. Then, ask yourself if what you’re saying would make someone sympathize with smerjacks, or want to be a smerjack. If so, you probably haven’t described Nazism accurately.

Some examples:

• “Smerjacks tried to take over the world, kill all the Jews, and obliterate any concept of individual rights.” This would be a good time to go ahead and say “Nazi.”
• “Smerjacks want to send you to freeze to death in an insane war on Russia while they start an even more insane war on the United States.” So would this.
• “Smerjacks like advertisements where cute actresses pose in blue jeans.” Not so much.

If you don’t want to normalize Nazism, don’t call normal people Nazis.