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A few weeks ago I read a post on Substack. (I cannot find it now, of course...) It was from a self-identified old lady—she said she was over 70—who was incensed that she would be called 'young lady' or asked if she needed help with things out in public that she was perfectly capable of doing. She seemed to be particularly outraged by being treated kindly because she was obviously old. After all, she was physically and mentally able to manage her errands on her own! She even kept handy some snappy comebacks. They included: when being called a young lady, she'd reply, "I'm old enough to be your grandmother"; or something to the effect that she's "not incompetent just because my hair is gray"; or sometimes the straightforward "I can do this myself" did the job. Of course the first comment was, "Or you could just let it go." I guess if I knew simple kindness was so offensive to this person, I might simply say, "There you go, you old battle axe," and move on to a more appreciative customer.
It really struck me that someone with that much life experience cannot recognize kindness and courtesy and be glad of it. She appeared to look for offense, and was going to find it no matter what. What a sad and miserable existence it must be to have to find a reason to be offended when treated kindly.
But wait, there's more.
I received this in the mail last week. (Alert. There's a bad word coming in the next sentence.)
What the hell?
Is this a threat? Are you going to have some old lady come to my house and punch me in the face if I don't vote for this clown? Who thought this was the ideal way to get votes? I would actually contemplate filing a complaint over this threat, but I am not sure who I would complain to.
What is happening to our civilization? Why is everyone so angry?
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Discussion (8)
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She is apparently overcome with hate as a dominant force in her life. Hate towards her fellow human. Hate towards President Trump and anyone who does not also hate him. Life in her head must be miserable.
A lot of modern society seems rooted in hate as we lose the Judeo-Christian faith that in large part underpins Western Civilization.
One of the refreshing aspects of moving to Texas eight years ago was discovering how much politeness and kindness are built into the culture. Holding the door for others and other courtesies are expected. Everyday courtesies are signs of respect for your fellow human, not statements of perceived incompetence or inability. Teens and young adults are expected to address anyone older with "Ma'am" or "Sir." The state Department of Transportation does run ads reminding Texas drivers not to lose their Texas politeness when they get behind the wheel of a car.
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What a coincidence. I made reference to battle axe today and a woman of about 30 asked Me what that meant.
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On my own post on this site, I wrote how I loved when people made gestures to help me or be kind! To me, they are honoring my years on this planet, are wanting to be helpful, and trying to show a little kindness. How stupid would I be to take offense?? That woman is so sad and doesn't realize the gifts that life offers us. Too bad.
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Not infrequently I receive offers of help that I am happy to accept. For instance - while grocery shopping and lifting a case of water into the cart or getting it into the trunk of the car (something the late Mr.AZ used to do and now I have to do it for myself). I am perfectly capable of doing it myself but I usually accept the kind offers.
A couple of months ago a piece of wood flew off the pickup in front of me on the highway and I ran over it and blew out a back tire. I pulled over to the side of the road and saw that another pickup behind me pulled over also. Two young men got out, called me ma'am , wanted to see if I was OK and offered to stay with me til AAA came. I declined that offer, but how nice was that?
I find a lot of courtesy and kindness around (even at a McD's drive-thru!). But then I don't go around looking and acting like a battle axe.
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Her grandkids deserve a better grandmother.
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