It Happened One Night on a Roman Holiday with a Kennedy

Jim Geraghty just isn’t a romantic.

Think back to romantic comedies from the Golden Age of Hollywood, made long before the term “rom-com” existed. Some of the best stories are being lived out in real life, but the hosts of The Three Martini Lunch for some reason don't think that's a good thing.

Think of one of the most lauded films in the history of the Academy, the first film to win Oscars for Best Actor, Actress, Screenplay, Director, and Picture: It Happened One Night. It’s the story of a reporter with a lead on the biggest story of the day, a Runaway Heiress. I know, these days the biggest story of the day in the press wouldn’t be Paris Hilton running wild (it was a little story, back in the day, but…).

Clark Gable figures out that Claudette Colbert is actually the daughter of a great mogul, who goes all Runaway Bride-era Julia Roberts on her wedding date and decides to take a bus across the country. The reporter pretends not to know who she is, so they have a series of wacky adventures involving hitchhiking and donuts. Of course, they fall in love and end up together.

Roman Holiday is a very different story. Instead of a runaway heiress, we have a runaway princess, Audrey Hepburn. She decides to try to live as a commoner and goes for a vacay in the Eternal City. A reporter, Gregory Peck, figures out who she is and shows her the ropes of how to live like the simple folks. They have a series of wacky adventures involving statues and a scooter. Though in this one, the princess decides she has an obligation to return to her royal life, leaving the reporter behind.

Who doesn't love these films? What could be more beautiful than a member of the aristocracy romancing a common Joe (or Jane) in the press? Who wouldn’t want to see such a fairy tale lived out in real life? Jim Garaghty, that’s who.

In the Morning Jolt, he wrote about the story of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Olivia Nuzzi.

Kennedy was running for President of these United States. (The Kennedys are the closest we have to royalty in this country. Well, aside from Burger King.) And Nuzzi was a Newsie, a reporter covering the campaign. Kennedy decided to give special access to Nuzzi, and if you think he did because she was an attractive blonde, then you are obviously a misogynist.

Anywho, they didn’t have a physical relationship, just an emotional affair. (It should be noted that the same was true for Gable & Colbert/Peck & Hepburn, thanks to the Hays Code.)

Kennedy and Nuzzi had wacky adventures involving nude selfies and hallucinogenic drugs. Sure, Nuzzi was engaged and Kennedy was married, but let me point out that Claudette Colbert’s character was engaged in It Happened One Night and Audrey Hepburn was married to her national obligations (or some such) in Roman Holiday.

And yet, Mr. Washington Post thinks, for some reason, that reporters should keep some sense of objectivity about the subject they report on. What would rom-coms be like if a reporter can't date the subject or a boss couldn't date his or her underlings? Let’s see him do a feature on Sydney Sweeney and see if he feels the same way.