The Wedding Ring

Several months ago, I suddenly realized that the rings I wore daily on my fingers no longer fit. My knuckles had swollen to such a degree that nothing could pass by them. I was especially disturbed that I could no longer wear my wedding ring; that knuckle was especially deformed (as my doctor described it). When I told my doctor that I couldn’t wear my wedding ring, he made the comment (unappreciated) that I could wear the ring on a chain around my neck. I was very annoyed, since I wasn’t communicating “going steady,” but that I was in a lifelong commitment.

I kept hoping that the swelling would go down, but it hasn’t—except for my other fingers. Now, only my wedding ring finger is still swollen. And I realized that I would no longer be able to wear it.

You may ask, what’s the big deal? After all, I know I’m married, my husband and friends know I’m married. But that wasn’t the point of the ring. I wore it for myself, as a promise to myself, not to send a message to others. And with our 50^th wedding anniversary coming up, I realized I wanted to have the ring sized and be able to wear it. With each day approaching our anniversary, I sensed the ring’s absence, that something important was missing.

My ring has gone through many iterations; originally it was two bands that interlocked, and periodically I had to take them to the jewelers to have them antiqued. Eventually they got so worn that there was nowhere for the antiquing to grab hold. And then the bands were so thin that they were likely to break where they were joined.

My husband encouraged me to get a new ring many years ago. But I liked having my old ring that represented the demands, joys, celebrations, and difficulties of marriage. Then I finally settled on getting a ring with a different setting, using my original diamond. Jerry suggested diamonds on both sides of it; I was only comfortable with one diamond chip on either side. And that has been my ring for the last many years.

I took the ring to the jeweler to be sized, and it looks wonderful. And it grounds me, reminds me of so much history, and the love I have for my husband.

I’m ready for another 50 years.