‘Just One More Conference Away...’

The Irish Rover is one of two campus newspapers, or websites that provides news, on campus life, on religious life, and humor on the Notre Dame campus.

The Irish Rover has faculty advisors, and unlike some colleges or universities, Notre Dame does allow a different point of view when it comes to campus life rather than just one approved student news source. I follow both athletics and turn to the Irish Rover for serious articles and humorous articles about student life on the Notre Dame campus.

Think about Davos or the Aspen confab when reading the quotes taken from the Irish Rover essay.

Just One More Conference Away...

The Kroc Center for International Peace Studies, known across campus for their seminars, lectures, addresses, webinars, colloquia, dialogues, keynotes, symposia, workshops, addresses, panels, fora, symposia, roundtables, conferences, webinars, addresses, conventions, retreats, keynotes, colloquia, and talks (not to mention their renowned discussions) recently announced that world peace is finally achievable with “just one more interfaith panel.” This is a more optimistic view than the one that the Kroc Center has long maintained; for the last ten years, world peace has been “two to four more lectures away.” The furthest the world has ever been from peace was in 2003, when the Kroc Center estimated that it would take as many as fifteen more colloquia to finally end war globally, a huge increase from the six symposia that Francis Fukuyama thought were needed at the end of the nineties. Hu Mann-Ature, a visiting scholar at the Kroc Center, disagreed. “I’m not sure that the problem is systemic, at least not in the way that my colleagues think it is. We can’t ever lecture away concupiscence, the Fall, or the bedrock fact of scarcity. In fact, I thi– AHHHHHH!!” Mr. Mann-Ature’s quote was interrupted by a manic-eyed Emily Cumenism, who tackled him. Ms. Cumenism then began to break down, with sobs of “Just one more! Please! One more and I promise that we’ll be done. Please, I’m actually begging you!” [Editor’s Note: This reporter is currently being held hostage by the Kroc Center in the Jenkins-Nanovic basement.]

The short bio on the writer of the essay:

Will Grannis is just one more all-nighter away from getting his workload under control, just one more cookie away from starting that wedding diet, and just one more dollar away from finally having enough money. He comes from a city that’s just one more bill away from solving America’s problems. He can receive just one more email at wgrannis@nd.edu.

Click on the link for the entire essay.