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For many years I worked as a hotel night auditor. It was a boutique hotel in wine country, a very nice place.
I was at the front desk in the lobby. It was about 2 am, no one was in the lobby. There were doors in front of me, to the left and to the right. The door to the left was to the pool. I heard it open and close. I turned to look to see a woman walk to a couch and lie down. She was naked.
I went over to the couch and saw that it was one of our bartenders, sound asleep. She and her husband were in the process of moving, so the management let them have a room for the night. Before waking her, I went to get her a robe. When I got back to the lobby, Brenda (alias) was hiding behind the couch. I threw her the robe, and she put it on.
I later learned from her husband (who telephoned his mother-in-law) that Brenda would sometimes sleepwalk in times of stress. Moving is certainly stressful.
As I went up with Brenda, I tried to reassure her. “People get locked out of their rooms all the time. Often not properly dressed. It’s not the first time this has happened.”
“But it’s never happened to me!” she said.
I told this story to my hospice team meeting the other day because there are parts of our day-to-day work life that are foreign to a lot of people. Obviously, death. But also some drugs with names that frighten, such as "morphine." We need to remind ourselves that what is common to us, is extraordinary to patients and their families.
This is true for people in many different occupations. Lawyers, firefighters, even accountants take some things for granted that take people outside their profession by surprise.
How do we develop empathy for people who say, "It's never happened to me!"
Discussion (17)
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By telling them the truth.
The problem isn't that it happened, it is how do you move on from it now.
I like the version of the Kubler Ross model told me a long time ago.
Work with them through the model.
Shock, Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Acceptance.
Which are you feeling now? Remember that it isn't linear and that you will bounce around while working through it.
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Man, if I had a nickel for every time I've woken up naked in a hotel lobby...
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We've all been there.
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I was for also for many years a night auditor. It was not a nice hotel, it was a 1/2 step above dive...
I dont miss it at all ever, not at all nostalgic for those old days...I did it for about 10 years, from the mid 90s to about 2005 ish
I did once learned that if you say knife fight to the 911 operator you get all the police. and half the ambulances....
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This was at a nice hotel in a small town in Northern California wine country. I saw a police car drive by every hour or so. When I did need to call them, they were there immediately. I'm sure they were bored.
I worked for five years at a Rescue Mission in downtown Seattle. When I needed to call the police, I had to use the word "gun" if I wanted any hope of seeing them in less than an hour.
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