Tales of Brave Ellipses: The Foolish April Ape of Larry King

For true verisimilitude and ornamentation, I got out my Fred’s Bank credit card and purchased a small case of periods, which I will arrange as ellipses for the purposes of this enterprise.

We had light snow with intermittent bright sunshine over the weekend here in Seongnam. That was the death knell of winter, mayhap. As usual, I thought about writing something significant and ended up with this.

Jerry Nadler is a prime example of government waist…

Public broadcasting is funded by people like me, but it wouldn’t be if I had a choice…

Why do people always believe me when I plead ignorance???

Whether you want to admit it or not, American cheese has its time and place…

I’ll bet in other worlds, cigars are referred to as “UFO-shaped objects”…

Arson is so hot these days…

Did you know Tiger Balm is made with salve labor???

I’m not much of a businessman. In fact, the idea that bankrupted me was the “Crust-Lover’s Pizza,” and the follow-up, “all-crust” sandwich bread…

You don’t see many godfathers these days…

We never seem to talk about things that are sufferable…

I always appreciate it when someone gives me some outside baseball…

I’ll bet mercenaries eat Soldier of Fortune cookies…

Just think, the riff-raff might want to keep YOU out…

Sometimes my friends type “LOL” and I’m 99% certain they are lying…

Anything can be a collector’s item as long as you don’t throw it away…

I feel like I give most bugs a fair shake…

It would be nice to bring back the practice of rending garments…

There was a Putin-inspired cologne. How about an Elon Musk???

There were two famous guys from Tulsa named Twilley. They were famous at the same time, but they never met and didn’t know if they were related. I find that astonishing…

In the future, everyone will be infamous for fifteen minutes…

A sneeze can be very satisfying, but more than one is just annoying…

When one door closes, use the knob or handle to reopen…

I realized recently that I don’t like songs about specific dances…

When you think about it, EVERY fight is a fight to the finish…

Track athletes generally cut a dashing figure…

So that is what’s percolating with me. I hope April 1st hasn’t become too commercialized for you. I know the sales seem to start right after St. Patrick’s Day. I’m doing my best to keep the fool in April Fool’s.