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The very first time I had the opportunity to teach, I worked with children. It was at a synagogue, and I don’t much remember what I taught; I do remember, however, that I wasn’t very good at it. The child who sticks in my mind, Brian, was a mischief-maker, and I simply never figured out how to get him to behave. He was cute and smart, and there was probably a part of me that wished I could be as irreverent as he was. I was still in college, and that teaching job ended when I left to study abroad.
But a spark was lit in me. Even though I didn’t do a great job of teaching kids, I knew instinctively that I was better suited to teach adults. When I worked in the savings and loan industry, I was getting bored with the job as a new accounts supervisor. So I put in for a job working for the City of Santa Ana. I passed the typing test, and received a phone call, offering me the job! But that very same day, I was offered the job to train employees at the S&L. I couldn’t believe it! And I knew I couldn’t turn it down. The V.P. who offered me the job probably thought I’d lost my mind as she watched my excited response. I immediately called the City and explained that I’d just been offered the job of my dreams; the woman I spoke to seemed as delighted as I was.
Due to my husband’s job transfer, I left that job and muddled my way through other jobs in the S&L business. But my heart was with training others.
Eventually, I started my own business. For years, I trained people to write effectively. I began to work with engineers and had lots of business from that group. Then I expanded and finally found myself working primarily with small engineering firms and then municipalities. There was something very moving and exciting about helping people learn to communicate more effectively. But after several years of teaching business and technical writing, it was time to move on. I was able to sell my business to a fellow who did a wonderful job teaching writing, and I felt like I’d left my business in good hands.
The next challenge I took on was completing a master’s degree. Remember the days of Tom Peters and customer service? But I discovered a niche area that was calling to me: facilitating teams that were in conflict. I believed that many consultants did a superficial job of helping these groups deal deeply with their issues, and I was fortunate that by interviewing participants before the facilitation, I seemed to get to the root of their concerns (as much as a person can over several hours). They seemed to sense my sincerity, my effort to remain as objective as possible. I even reached a point where I told managers and supervisors not to hire me if they weren’t prepared to make changes to improve the team relationships.
They took me seriously.
But I must say that in some ways, combining training and facilitation provided me with my favorite venue: teaching classes on managing conflict. Conflict is such a juicy topic: its source, how we deal with it, whether we like it or hate it. I taught conflict management for several years.
But when we moved to Florida, I only made a half-hearted effort to train others. It was difficult to find my way into the market, and trainers were paid much less here. More than that, my heart told me that it was time to move on once again. And that’s when I found another way to teach people: through my writing.
Part of the shift from standing in front of groups to working at the computer is probably my, ahem, maturity. I’ve always been an introvert, but seeking my own company was where I was most comfortable. I still was connecting with people, but I felt we were peers.
So, do I still train? I feel like I do. The beauty of my time now is that I not only get to share my ideas but I get to learn by doing research for my posts. And then I get the added benefit of learning your ideas, too.
In a sense, we are all learning and teaching together.
That works for me.
Discussion (11)
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I taught a Sunday School module on cults a number of times. The nature of cults, how to identify them, recognizing their tactics such as "love bombing," how to avoid them, that kind of thing. It was the Eighties in Southern California, a bit past the height of the flower flinging, Maha mantra chanting, but they were still out there. Forewarned is forearmed, and a forearm is an excellent way of checking a Hare Krishna into the boards.
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Excellent! I wouldn't have guessed that would be taught in Sunday School. The way those cults could destroy lives was tragic.
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Susan, everything you've written comports with the tone and spirit of your posts here on Ricochet, and it's easy to believe that you were an excellent conflict manager.
I couldn't do what you did; I have no patience with drama or internecine strife. Adults who can't gracefully resolve their differences or gracefully agree to go their separate ways strike me as tiresome and frustrating, and I try to avoid them. (It's also possible that I don't have a clue what "conflict" really means in your post.)
But teaching is an interesting, multi-faceted business. I've spent 46 years writing computer software for a living, and it's only in the last decade or so that I've come to realize that, if I had to pick any other field of endeavor, it would be teaching mathematics to middle- and high-school children. I enjoy getting unruly kids in line as much as I don't enjoy childishness in adults.
In any event, I'm glad technology has given you a way to continue pursuing your passion for teaching. May you have many more productive years of sharing your hard-won wisdom.
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What a very sweet response, Hank! So nice to see you, too. Oh, I think you understand what I mean by conflict. My teaching explained that the source of our conflicts began with ourselves, although we almost always blame others. It was fun to see people wrestle with the concept, because they would argue with me (more conflict) about the nature of their conflict. Gradually some people "got it." They'd realize that if the source of the conflict is within themselves, they have the power to manage that; when the source of the conflict is another person, you're kind of stuck!
I remember one class where a police officer took issue with something I was teaching. He was pretty assertive about challenging me. Somehow I didn't get defensive, but instead asked him to tell me more about his perception. We had probably the most productive classroom discussion I've ever had. It was lovely.
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Just watching the movie "Serial" might be enough. :-)
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