Return of the (Tribute to) King

Dateline: Korean Peninsula. We’ve had a solid week of rain here in the Seongnam/Yongin metroplex, and I like it. Sometimes, in Oklahoma summers, it seems that rain is a myth that we only hear about from the tribal elders and remote viewers. We might see it crudely depicted on petroglyphs at Alabaster Caverns. An Oklahoma summer turns all vegetation brown. But as Korea suddenly transitioned into fall, the green bits stayed green.

I was watching a YouTube clip of David Letterman being interviewed by Larry King, and it reminded me that I had some thoughts jotted in tribute to his old USA Today column. It goes like this:

It’s a fine line between an orange and a tangerine…

Having work cut out for you sounds like a GOOD thing…

Seems like it’s about time for Alec Baldwin to do something weird…

Nobody wants a 51st state because nobody wants to have to redesign the flag…

I can’t remember what I ever saw in cotton candy…

Are there things that are low falutin?

When James Brown asked if we could take it to the bridge, I was the one voice that said, I’m not sure we’re ready yet…

I’ve heard people say they can pat themselves on the back, but I’ve never seen anyone do it…

I guess the CB craze is never going to come back…

Does anything ever come up the pike?

I thought New Coke was all right…

People definitely don’t trade pelts as much as they used to…

When I watch sports, I always cheer for upsets, unless it’s my team…

Honestly, I don’t think anyone really likes watching folk dancing…

Corporal punishment will always be allowed in the army…

Remember, no matter how much tissue you pulled out of your pockets, you’ll find twice as much in the washing machine later…

UFOs have never seen me either…

If they already know what food you’re going to order, that’s counter-intuitive…

I feel like that’s more than enough for now, and I thank you for reading. Good night, America.

Your foreign correspondent.