Driving Miss Daisy

Absolutely true story: Mrs. Pessimist's sister Rita bought a new Tesla. Rita and her husband Jim drove us to a local barbecue restaurant last night. Rita was behind the wheel but was eager to show off the self-driving feature. We had not gone three blocks when a lawn maintenance person jumped from his large enclosed truck into the road very close to us. The Tesla immediately lurched to a stop, which would have put me on the floor if I had not been wearing my seatbelt. I asked if I could sue Elon for the neck sprain I suffered. Jim said, "Probably, but you will have to get in line."

They asked their car to take us to the restaurant by the quickest route possible without using the Interstate. So of course we wound around quite a bit before we got to the restaurant. On the way back, Jim decided to show off the AI features of the car computer by asking it to tell some jokes. The first one was pretty lame, so Jim told some "Your Mama is so fat" jokes. Their computer is named Daisy. Apparently you have a binary choice of voices to listen to, either male or female. They chose female and call her Daisy any time they talk to her. When Jim asked for some "Your Mama is so fat" jokes, Daisy replied that those jokes were inappropriate and offensive to many people. Jim angrily replied, "You are a liar, Daisy. You told us those jokes before." At that point Daisy said, "I don't like your tone of voice and this conversation is over. Goodbye."

Rita then politely asked Daisy if she would tell some of the "Your Mama is so fat" jokes that she had previously told them. Daisy immediately said, "Your Mama is so fat that if she sits on a penny, boogers come out of Lincoln's nose. Would you like more jokes?"

"No thanks, Daisy. That is enough for now. Just keep driving us home."