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Make Airports Great Again

Randy Weivoda
@RandyWeivoda
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Most of you have probably heard that a bill has been introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives that would rename Dulles International Airport. Five Republican representatives reckon that the airport really ought to go by the name "Donald J. Trump International Airport." Perhaps less well-known is that in my home state of Tennessee, Republican state legislators want to rename Nashville International Airport to "Trump International Airport."

I'm sure these aren't the only airports that assorted Republicans in various states would like to rename for the greatest American president of all time. But I think we can all see the problem if all these dreams come true, right?

Jackson-Evers International Airport. Photo from goodfreephotos.com.

"Honey, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I booked our airline tickets. I know you like to save money, so I got non-refundable tickets. Unfortunately, with so many Trump International Airports, I got confused and made a mistake. I know we wanted to go to Tampa, Florida for vacation, but how do you feel about Oklahoma City?"

Clearly, this is not going to work. I propose that all airports be renamed for the current president (and if God is just - future emperor), but we really need to keep the names distinct from one another. Let us keep the first part of all the airport names so you can still tell them apart, but change the word "Airport" in each name to "Trumport."

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Discussion (55)

  • Subcomandante America@TheReticulator

    If the Soviets could rename cities and streets after Comrade Lenin, we can rename our Trumports after Donald Trump. We can also go further and name all bodies of water in North America after Trump, including all of those in the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes. That doesn't mean they'd all have the same name. Some would be Trump Lake, while others would be Lake Trump. There would also be Trump River, River Trump, Trump Creek, etc. Don't throw the historical names out altogether. City and town should have at least one Trump Street. Also, consider the controversies over institutions named after Confederate Generals and other slaveholders. End the controversy by naming them after Trump. Here in southwest and south central Michigan, Calhoun County could change its name to Trump County. Same with Cass County, Jackson County, Branch County, and Berrien County, all named after slaveowning members of the Jackson administration. St. Joseph County and Kalamazoo County could keep their current names. No sense overdoing it.

  • Red Herring@EHerring

    Renaming things like airports isn't a good idea. You can look up the 3-letter code and use it but then you learn that Atlanta, ATL, is (was?) listed under the letter T because, well….the name started with “The.” maybe they have dropped the "The" so now you have to look under the letter H. Other airports have three-letter identifiers under their old Army name, McCoy Field (MCO) rather than under O for Orlando. But then that renaming is actually helpful. I'm getting a headache.

  • Randy Weivoda@RandyWeivoda

    I'm rather surprised that we have not renamed Lake Ontario. Why should one of our Great Lakes (people always tell me, "These are the greatest lakes, Sir.") be named for a Canadian province? Can you believe it? Canadian? The country (for now) that sells us all that lumber, putting hard-working American trees on the unemployment line, and we let them have a Great Lake named for them?

  • Percival@Percival
    ReplyingtoRed Herring

    Red Herring (View Comment):

    Renaming things like airports isn’t a good idea. You can look up the 3-letter code and use it but then you learn that Atlanta, ATL, is (was?) listed under the letter T because, well….the name started with “The.” maybe they have dropped the “The” so now you have to look under the letter H. Other airports have three-letter identifiers under their old Army name, McCoy Field (MCO) rather than under O for Orlando. But then that renaming is actually helpful. I’m getting a headache.

    Originally, it was Atlanta Municipal Airport. The mayor at the time, who did a lot to build and promote the airport, was William B. Hartsfield, so it became Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport in his honor. The airport was expanded under Mayor Maynard H. Jackson Jr, so now it's Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, and they'll need to expand the airport's signage in addition to its runways and terminals if they expand anything again.

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