7 Everyday Stressful Moments

We all have teeth-clenching, neck-stiffening, shoulder-hunching tendencies around daily occurrences that should be normal but usually elicit that unhealthy physiological response. Here are my stressful moments:

1. Getting to one's destination just on time. I'm normally right on time or a few minutes early, but I pay a price for my punctuality. On the road, I'm a big ball of tension. Slow driver on our dirt road ahead, and I'm thinking un-neighborly thoughts. I fume at long red lights and lecture drivers for small errors that delay me a smidgen more. And you know that thing where the light turns green and no one goes? I suddenly really notice that. Yes, I could leave earlier, but I'm always doing great on time at home until the last two minutes before my departure goal. Then it all goes to pieces, and I'm leaving "just on time" once again.
2. A doctor's appointment for anything. The effect shows up in my blood pressure, and I get questions such as, "Is your heart rate always 111 at rest?" I might not actually need that blood pressure medication they put me on . . .
3. The airport security line, when you have to take off shoes and remove devices. This just never goes well for me, no matter how well I plan. I always think I have it down, but something goes wrong—the TSA agent barks at me after not being clear the first time. I have stuff in my pockets, I almost forget my shoes, I have to do an emergency dig for an extra device in my carry-on, or I have to spend five minutes on the other end recovering myself and my items. The agents on the San Diego end are especially rude and unsmiling (at least in my experience), handling people's things roughly and acting as if you should already know what to do. The adrenaline my body thoughtfully provides beforehand, under the impression that I might need to either bolt the premises or get into an altercation, is unpleasant.
4. Filling out paperwork at home. Whether it's taxes, the FAFSA, insurance stuff, or something else, I've got to have an experienced guide. Otherwise I'm flailing. I just don't know enough to do these independently. Even a brief questionnaire from supplemental insurance I was quitting wanted to know some detail about the way it was taken out of my paycheck—and I had no idea how to answer. Fortunately, our payroll lady was on it, so I could go to the next step. Plus, some processes get me flabbergasted. "Look how many negative incentives are built into the system," I'll fume. "It looks like we get dinged for watching our money and rewarded for having gambling debt!"
5. Having family members try to talk to me when something is due. This is where I find it difficult to show patience. "Can you tell me this some other time, please? Remember, I said I have ten minutes until this needs to be in." The situation might or might not escalate after that. Having one's office located where it practically invites warm family chats is one of the downsides of working at home. "Even though I don't act like it sometimes, this is actually a real job. Please, please . . ."
6. Cleaning house right up until guests arrive. I can never live up to my cleaning ambitions, and don't prioritize well the day of the event. At the beginning, I'm thinking, surely these kitchen tiles could use individual attention before I move on to the ten other tasks on my list. Thirty-five minutes ahead of time, I'm starting to triage. And then it really gets serious eight minutes before. When I take off my headphones, look out! Mom means business. And if you haven't done your part yet, she'll talk to you in that extra patient way she has. And just when I'm shoving the clean laundry into a closet, hoping our friends will arrive late and sure that the house will look dingy, our guests pull into the driveway and all tension forgotten—we have a wonderful meal together. Okay, sometimes I'm still scrubbing a toilet, dusting, or putting away the vacuum cleaner, suddenly remembering that I meant to change my clothes and drag a comb through my hair. My family has to summon me from the recesses of the house to greet our guests. But after that, it's all sunshine and roses.
7. That subtle pressure of having an upcoming obligation or looming event. This could be anything, big or small: a work shift later in the day, a talk I have to give in front of people, a move, or a bunch of stuff due that will probably require late nights. All this has an odd effect on daily life. Suddenly, I'm extra worried about a spot on my arm and wish I'd made an appointment with the dermatologist weeks ago. Or I start feeling that small details around the house are extra important. I've come to realize that the fixation on details is a way of gaining a sense of control. Once the event is over, I could go another two years without thinking about that spot on my arm. The unfolded laundry can stay in the closet. I feel free and breezy, and everything is okay again.