Man Shouts at Clouds

Here is today’s shout-worthy cloud. At the apex of the top layer of security for the nation sits the Commander-in-Chief, Dr. Jill Biden, I mean Hunter Biden…no, wait, pretty sure it’s Joe Biden. Hang on a second. Checking notes. Yes. Pretty sure this is correct. Joe Biden, the first black woman president.

Now, I could drone on about how the current Commander-in-Chief, Dr. Jill Biden…damn…Joe Biden has exhibited many of the worst human traits despite the repetitive and unconvincing claims by dishonest members of his own party and much of the news media, that he is a thoroughly decent, honest, and competent human being. Let’s be honest, shall we? The record of this man is quite clear. Joe Biden is and has been for most of his adult life, a thoroughly indecent, thoroughly dishonest, and thoroughly incompetent human being, and it would be refreshing if a leading Republican figure occasionally mentioned this to counter Democrat and media talking points. But that’s another cloud for another day. Where was I? Who are you again? Oh, yes.

The more urgent matter is not fellow octogenarian Democrats, who don’t take Relaxium™ before bedtime and toss and turn, sweating about another Trump presidency, and worry about getting re-elected so they can die in Congress until their putrefying husks are hauled away. No, the urgent matter is…wait a second…I just had it here…oh, yes…the more urgent matter is the current Commander-in-Chief, who is someone who couldn’t serve as a military commander, a police chief, a town sheriff, a warehouse security guard, much less a bag boy in a supermarket.

You wouldn’t trust such a man as this to babysit your young children (for his cognitive struggles and perhaps for other reasons), to cook his own food, to drive a car, to walk out to the mailbox to retrieve the mail without constant supervision. And yet we are told that this man can be trusted to secure the nation from its adversaries no matter the time of day or night.

But the Commander-in-Chief is surrounded, you say (or others say…sometimes I hear voices) by teams of geniuses, and doesn’t really have to make these crucial decisions all by himself in his pajamas as he looks down at cards with photos of the hallways in the White House directing him to the Situation Room where he has been asked to situate.

And it’s okay if he confuses the leaders of foreign countries, has recent conversations with leaders who have been dead for decades, or looks for dead people in audiences. Why are you so worried? Why, look at his monumental foreign policy successes. Take Afghanistan, for example, and look how he’s limited Iran’s capability to cause trouble in the Middle East. You all need to stop worrying. Dr. Jill...sorry, Dr. Joe can handle it. You’re just shouting at clouds. Excuse me…someone is at the door. Oh, it’s just a group of nice young men with tattoos on their faces who want to sell me some gummies. I must go now.